Getting back in the saddle....

[Blueberry]

In early July, a close friend and neighbor of mine was killed while on his bike by a hit and run driver. The driver was arrested the next day, had 2 pending DWI charges (from other dates - we don't know whether he was drunk when he killed my friend), and is still in jail awaiting trial/a plea/etc. The hit and run (I *refuse* to call it an accident) occurred less than a mile from my house (though on a road I usually do not ride).

It took me until this week to be able to get back on a bike *at all* other than on a trainer. I finally went for an outside ride a few days ago (short). But - last night, DH has a scary incident with a driver about half a mile from our house (she passed him with about 6 inches of room in a neck down on the road). We called the police, and they talked to her (since she lives about 3 blocks away). They also gave her a parking ticket since she was parked illegally when they found the vehicle. But - there's not a report of any kind - which is scary because these neck downs are being put in *all over* our area and they are very scary for cyclists (a whole 'nother issue).

But....the whole thing has left me 1) out of shape and 2) extremely skittish about riding. I have no idea where to even start with building up my outside riding (since my trainer miles don't seem to have done as much as I thought they would). I also don't quite know how to get my mind to stop with the "what if's" while I'm riding. I love it and believe in it too much to just give it up. Thankfully, the motions/bike handling/etc. are find. It's just the mental and out of shape physical aspects. A friend made the comment to me that he would be sad if I never rode again because it's so much of who I am. He was right. That's what got me back out there at all. Any suggestions? Words of wisdom?

[indysteel]

((((Blueberry)))). I'm so sorry about your friend. And I'm sorry about the incident with your DH, although I am encouraged that the police in your area seems to take these things seriously.

As for advice, are there any routes familiar to you that are very lightly traveled? When I first started riding, I had a route that I did that barely had any cars, good sight lines, no loose dogs, etc. Is there a group that you can ride with, too? So long as the group is responsible, I think there's safety in numbers. Notwithstanding legitimate concerns about target fixation, I do feel safer when I ride if I'm wearing a high viz jersey and using a rear blinker depending on the light conditions. Or take it off road. Are there any gravel roads or mtb trails (assuming you have an appropriate bike) in your area?

You may just have to force yourself to get out there for short rides before the worst of your anxiety subsides. And if it still doesn't subside, then I'd encourage you to talk to a counselor about it. A short round of CBT might be in order.

[OakLeaf]

((((((Blueberry))))))

I'm so sorry about your friend.

I'm struggling to get back on my bike too, and at this point the emotional barriers are definitely higher than the physical ones. I think Indy is right, there's a point where you just have to make yourself get out there. I'm driving up in the morning to do part of the club ride - as much as I hate driving farther than I'm planning to ride, just having it on the schedule is a way of making myself go for a ride. And even though I'll still be doing half of it by myself, half of a ride with friends is worth it to me.

I'm lucky in that being way out of shape actually makes me more compatible with this particular club. Can you maybe find a slower club ride than you're accustomed to, so you won't feel bad about your conditioning trying to ride with your usual riding buddies?

[shootingstar]

It's worth it to drive with bike and go somewhere else safer to bike. If not a group, with your hubby. Or solo.

Your neighbourhood does seem difficult in terms of road design.

That's awful about your neighbour-friend. I'm sorry to hear that fatality.

Every time I've fallen off the bike....it has been on black ice, I hesitate in cycling style (which is not good) for first few days and tend to stick to quieter routes /bike paths.
Actually in fact, my daily riding is 70% on bike paths or in bike lanes.... I deliberately design routes because as a daily cyclist I need to reduce my daily exposure to cars when living in a big city.

(I know that many people here pan MUPs....I choose bike routes involving them, often during lower peak hrs.... my start and end time at work, is deliberately designed that way to avoid heavy MUP use. Same for shopping on weekends. I grocery/farmers' market shop within the first 1-2 hrs. the outlet is open....to avoid peak MUP traffic, as well as heavy shopping crowds.)

[murielalex]

I also say drive to a safe spot. Cycling should be fun, and if you're afraid, and understandably so due to circumstance, it's worth it to drive to a safer area. If you can, ride with someone. I live near one nice stretch of road that is as safe as it's gets around here, but sometimes, I just feel squirrely inside for no logical reason and am nervous to be on the road by myself. On those days, I either ride with people, which makes me feel more secure, or I don't go out at all. I've learned to respect my feelings and take care when I feel the need.

[Blueberry]

Thanks for the suggestions! It's really hard to find somewhere I feel "safe" here. We do have a rail-trail, but it has been the target of a lot of crime lately - and I'm a firm believer that I am substituting one kind of danger for another (cars for kids, skateboarders, crime, dogs, etc.). Sadly, that's it for MUPs.

Our neighborhood is actually really good for biking in general - we're within a couple of miles of the downtown, and there is definitely more awareness here of bikes than other places. This is just one bad area (and the parallel street is 2 direction with cars parked on both sides - and not enough room for 2 lanes because of that - so other issues there). I don't think that there is really a good place I feel safe riding I can drive to I'm not sure about riding with others either - riding with my DH tends to be an exercise in frustration for me because he is *so much* faster than I am - as are most of the other people I would ride with. It's compounded by the fact that I'm now seriously out of shape for biking. I don't actually know of any group-ish rides that would be that slow (and I've looked!). I'll be OK - I will get myself back out there. Fall is my favorite season for that, so that helps!