Called "Sir"... Why, oh WHY?!?!

[KnottedYet]

Why does this happen to me?

For 30 years, at least once a month I am called "Sir" or referred to as "he," "him," or "son."

Sometimes the person apologizes, often they don't.

I've been walking down the sidewalk in a miniskirt and camisole and listened to people debate amongst themselves over whether I was a man or a woman. A carload of teenagers pulled up next to me and shouted, "Are you a guy or a girl?" A museum docent selling tickets looked at my son and I and said "You boys are half price as students."

Today I was at McDonalds, said "Hi" to the salesperson, gave my complicated order while looking her in the eyes, and she then said "Will that be for here or to go, Sir?"

I was wearing a lavender shirt with a plunging V-neck that accentuated my 36DD bazoongas. I had a dainty silver necklace resting in my cleavage. My chin-length hair was pinned back with a rhinestone-and-silver barrette.

Why does this happen?

When a "sir" mistake really gets to me, I rush off to the mall and buy clothes and/or makeup. I always kind of figured it's my face that makes people assume I'm a man. I am not pretty. I've got honkin' cheekbones and a big nose and a screwed up eyebrow. Today's retail therapy involved a wonderful makeup clerk at the MAC counter. I delivered my "I-just-got-called-Sir" whine, and she asked if I'm Scandinavian. (yes) She said she has a Scandinavian friend with the same broad shoulders and strong facial bone structure who also gets called "Sir" even though she is clearly a woman. After I bought my haul of make-up she gave me a hug and told me I was beautiful.

Maybe I'm not alone. But damn, it really really sucks.

ETA: by the way, MAC "Viva Glam" lipstick is pretty darn awesome. The entire purchase price goes toward MAC's HIV/AIDS project. Collect 6 empty MAC containers (from any of their makeup) and you can turn them in for a free lipstick. http://www.maccosmetics.com/product/...ick/index.tmpl

[shootingstar]

Strange, Knotted. Is your voice alto,...like mine? I don't have a lovely soprano voice, probably because I unconsciously lower my voice when I speak English when I acquired it after leaving alot of Chinese behind which dances up and down in tones.

While you get mistaken for being male, some of us according to some folks are assumed to be born outside of North America and sucking up the jobs, social welfare system.....

During the Olympics while watching fireworks, a bunch of people in their early 30's chatted up with one guy ranting on and on how his area (Richmond) was just full of these Asians taking over the city, driving up real estate.

It still made me seethe..after hearing junk like this occasionally for past few decades. I could have turned around to say somthing since they were only 5 ft. away and said something. But it just gets tiring to defend oneself with....strangers.

Their problem, eh Knotted?

[KnottedYet]

Yup, I'm an alto (I sing 2nd alto).

I'm never mistaken by my voice. Never in pictures. Only in person, whether I speak or not.

It's just *weird.*

[Tiffany_S]

I have this same problem and I'm not Scandinavian!! I have 36DD chest as well. I'm 5 feet tall with short hair and I'm not a pretty girly girl so to speak. I just make it a point to point it out to them that I'm a girl and they are always embarrassed.

[zoom-zoom]

Yup, I'm an alto (I sing 2nd alto).

Me too...and 1st tenor. I'm Scandinavian, as well (first name Kirsten, maiden name ended in son). But I would kill for broader shoulders (since I have big boobs and the shoulders might help make me look more balanced AND hold up bra straps better) and some angles to my face. I am TOO soft and have no nice defined cheekbones or chin.

We can't win.

From the way you describe your dress, the only way these people could be thinking you're a guy is if they are completely oblivious and lacking in the ability to read social cues. That says far more about them than it does about you.

[TsPoet]

Used to happen to me all the time. I used to have to dress nice for work, and being a big gal, I wore long skirts and dark blouses, and still got called "sir". I moved to the PNW and started wearing jeans and T-shirts, and it no longer happens!? I'm assuming something happened to me (or my voice?) when I got into my mid-30s?
I don't wear makup.
Maybe you need tighter tops?

[channlluv]

What's up with all you Scandinavian chicks getting blessed with the big boobs?

I am rather Weeble-shaped. I barely fill out an A cup, but people often ask me when my baby's due.

At least I still look young enough to have babies. That's my silver lining.

Roxy

[Trek420]

I am TOO soft and have no nice defined cheekbones or chin.

We can't win.

Knott has the most amazing high cheekbones. I think it's your height "tall person, must be a guy." I'm short, never been called "sir".

[zoom-zoom]

What's up with all you Scandinavian chicks getting blessed with the big boobs?

My grandma looked like the Venus of Willendorf. Trust me, that is not a body type I was happy to inherit. I struggle every day to not be wider than I am tall, like my grandma Berniece was, heh (my younger sister is losing that battle).

[zoom-zoom]

Knott has the most amazing high cheekbones. I think it's your height "tall person, must be a guy." I'm short, never been called "sir".

I'll bet you're right. Height is not a good measure of sex, though. Friends of mine were recently married...she is easily 3" taller than he is.

[badger]

ugh, how horrible! the MAC person sounds wonderful, though!

when I was young (8-10ish), I got mistaken for a boy all the time. I had long hair until about 7 or 8 and one day I told my mother I wanted all cut off and have short hair. Didn't help I was a tomboy and wore boy-ish clothes.

When I was 27, again I was hit with a "I have to cut my hair off" and got a pixie cut. I was at a cafe and someone approached me from behind "excuse me, sir". As soon as I turned around it was obvious to him I was a girl and he said sorry (he was trying to sell me something, so glad he got scared off).

I must say that experience did bug me and I have not had my hair short since then.

[bmccasland]

Micky D's person is blind? Or has some very strange friends?


On the otherhand, I used to work with a male nurse, who hadn't cut his hair since he got out of the Navy some 10 years previous. Had a very nice long ponytail that he'd braid. When people saw him from the rear, and the perception of "all nurses are female", they call out, "excuse me, nurse? Ma'am?" And James would turn around where they'd also see his very bushy mustache. The looks on their confused faces was absolutely priceless!

[Owlie]

Sales clerk sounds awesome.

I haven't run into that since I was 8 or so, when I had my hair cut short. I decided not long after I was asked if I was a girl or a boy to grow my hair out!

DBF gets mistaken for a woman over the phone rather frequently.

[OakLeaf]

My grandma looked like the Venus of Willendorf.

The figurine of a goddess.

You are a goddess too. And you too, Knott.

[Crankin]

I think it must be the body type, height, etc. I have had very short hair for ten years, and I am flat chested, but no one has ever mistaken me for a guy. Perhaps it's because I am short?
Though I do see a scary resemblance to my son, who is a Marine, right after I get a haircut .