Thanks everyone for the tool advice. i thankfully did know that the right/left pedal didn't both follow righty-tighty/lefty-loosey but I think my biggest obstacle is this short wrench with little leverage. My new pedals do come on very easily it's just a matter of getting these first ones off.
I'm at school and away from my LBS where the guys there seem to take pity on me and fix everything for free (they've given me tons of tuneups for free too, really great guys). I'm not sure whether it's worth coming to the LBS here (where people do seem pretty nice but obviously don't know me) since they'll probably charge a lot simply for loosening two pedals. Or... they'll look at me like I'm crazy for coming to the store just to do that. Am I crazy?
Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, and do whatever you want all the time, you could miss it.
2010 Fuji Roubaix 1.0
2007 Fuji Absolute 2.0