Need Advice--Should I move out?

[Syndirelah]

Ok ladies, I need advice. (warning, long story to follow).

I graduated in 2006 from a good university (music degree), and went to grad school in another state. I was able to work, support myself, and be in school at the same time. At the end of my first year in grad school, one of my parents was diagnosed with a terminal illness. I left school to move home and help out with things. I worked and helped out at home during this time, and my dad passed away in 2008 after a year-long illness.

In the fall of 2008, I restarted my master's degree at a different school, both to be at a better program (for me) and so I could still help out at home with some of the fall-out.

Last year, I commuted to school Mondays, Wed. and Fridays on the train, two hours each way. On Tues/Thurs., I substitute taught at my old high school. (I occasionally had to be at school one of these days, so the flexibility worked in my favor).

Fast forward to this fall. I just returned home after completing in (unpaid but wonderful) internship in Maine for the summer. It was the first time Ive had the opportunity to leave since initially moving home, and, for the first time in literally 2.5 years, spend time with people my own age. I have free rent and don't help out with utilities, but our house is on the market to sell. (who knows when that will happen, with the economy!).

After being home for the past couple of years, under pretty miserable circumstances, I want to move out. But I have only a few $k saved, and student loan debt. (but no credit card debt or car payments). I could take out $10k for living expenses.

So, what do I do???

Keep commuting another year? By staying home, I'm not able to MAKE much money, and not interacting with my peers/networking at all. with the time spent commuting--having such limited availability, I havent been able to find additional part-time work. But, Im not plummeting AS far into debt if I were to move out.

But, I'm incredibly unhappy here. and after this summer, I'm seeing how much I'm missing out on in life...

At least if I moved out, I could regain some sense of identity. After a couple days job hunting, I have a job closer to school (and the apt. I would move into, I an offer to move in with a friend)... but its waitressing, and not necessarily 100% steady... I would need to find something in addition. I've been scouting for students to teach, but its tough with the economy.

As for my chosen profession, music is tough-- Ive been taking auditions and advanced in a couple, but it can take years to land a first job.

This sucks.

I would like to think it's brave to take a leap, find out what I'm made of. Or is it smarter to stick with the free rent as long as possible-- even if my life is going nowhere during that time....

I can't decide....

[alpinerabbit]

Try to do the move on a shoestring - waitress if needed, or find another substitute job at the town you're going to, and toss that job if you find something better. Try not to get into any debt.

Forget about "loyalty" - you're selling your abilities on the market.

As for your mom - she should be understanding because you already made a pretty big "gift" to your parents by moving back to support them. Now it should be your time to grow.

[redrhodie]

It seems to me your post is all pro moving out. The only con seems to be about $ and that's the normal one that we all feel, especially in the arts.

Don't take out that loan! You are debt free except for student loans, and that's a great thing. Maybe you can get a student loan deferment for the first few months? I don't know if that's a good idea, but you could check into it.

I'm sorry about your father. I hope you're able to find a happier place, and enjoy your life again.

[Biciclista]

spread your wings, little bird.

[Pax]

Move out, independence is priceless.

[Pan Dulce]

Move out! Things will be tight, but you sound like you will be so much happier. That's what's important, right?

[Kris]

Move out. Live as simply as you can to reduce the amount you need to borrow. Try to reduce it to 0.