do you ever feel this way?

[ginny]

Ladies,

Do you ever get a case of the 'not good enough'? I am applying for a "predoctoral" grant from the NIH. Our project is good. We have good people on it, but when I sit down to write my 'biographical sketch' (read: resume), I want to throw up my hands and walk away. I feel like, "ah, I'm no where near as good as the other people applying. I don't have as many pubs, and awards ?? Don't have any of those..." Is this just part of being a woman? I always joke that when you read a dissertation or a manuscript written by a man it says things like "our research proved" "we have proven" "unequivocally". When you read something written by a woman it tends to say things like "our research demonstrates" "this may indicate". It's funny until it's me writing...

[uk elephant]

Ladies,

Do you ever get a case of the 'not good enough'? I am applying for a "predoctoral" grant from the NIH. Our project is good. We have good people on it, but when I sit down to write my 'biographical sketch' (read: resume), I want to throw up my hands and walk away. I feel like, "ah, I'm no where near as good as the other people applying. I don't have as many pubs, and awards ?? Don't have any of those..." Is this just part of being a woman? I always joke that when you read a dissertation or a manuscript written by a man it says things like "our research proved" "we have proven" "unequivocally". When you read something written by a woman it tends to say things like "our research demonstrates" "this may indicate". It's funny until it's me writing...

Totally understand! I'm the same way, I can't sell myself (or anything else for that matter). I'm having this problem in job applications and in aiming high enough for grant applications. But I keep trying to convince myself to aim high because you never know. And I have gotten a little bit better. Like not putting down my own accomplishmens but rather highlighting them when applying for things. My BF and my mom were both great helps in that. I asked them to look over my cv and job letter for my current job and they both reminded me of things I had left out of the papers that were well worth putting in. Perhaps getting someone who knows your accomplishments to give you a hand. Someone you trust who will point out things you may forget or underestimate? Or just try tinking like a man.....but I don't know how to do that...

[Zen]

Absolutely. I went to a resume adviser who essentially told me what I thought was crap was actually pretty golden. It just needed to be presented differently.

[badger]

ha, even reading your entry made me feel inferior, like "hey, I've never published anything or won any awards, at least she has".

I think it's pretty normal to feel that way. I was feeling depressed the other day thinking my cv is so pigeon holed in to doing pretty much nothing other than admin work, and I hate admin.

Let's hope that it'll inspire us to want to keep improving ourselves, though!

[Zen]

Think for a minute about what is actually involved in your job. I'll bet there are transferable skills involved that your resume doesn't show.
It just takes a little re-writing.

[Mr. Bloom]

Is this just part of being a woman? I always joke that when you read a dissertation or a manuscript written by a man it says things like "our research proved" "we have proven" "unequivocally". When you read something written by a woman it tends to say things like "our research demonstrates" "this may indicate". It's funny until it's me writing...

I can't speak to whether or not it's "part of being a woman" but I can say that the feeling is not unique to women. We are all our own worst critics, but the grass is not always as green as it appears elsewhere...

and FWIW, as a "consumer of economic research", I can tell you that any researcher who uses the words "proved" or "unequivocally" has an inflated sense of self and is likely full of it...but, I guess that's why they call economics the "dismal science"

[indigoiis]

I am not really good at "faking it til you make it" but I did take some good advice this last time: write it as if you are writing it for someone else, someone you care about very much.

It helps. Well, it got me my current job (thanks RR!)

[Pax]

I think we're conditioned from birth to not "blow our own horns", it isn't ladylike. That said I got over it in my 20's and am very confident about my skills and abilities, and have no trouble conveying that. I start from the premise of "I ROCK" when selling myself instead of "I'm okay"...seems to do the trick nicely.

[ginny]

indi and Pax,

I like your ideas. I like the idea of writing my CV as though I am writing it for someone else. Good... now I have to DO it... and email it to the head of an NIH program this morning (shaking in my boots!)