Try EBay for bikes and clothes. Also Craigslist.com. Also look at local pawn shops, police auctions, and Goodwill/Salvation Army stores.
As for him leaving you in the dust: maybe you can work out a route where you both leave together, he can take off and do his speedo ride and you ride your pace and the 2 of you meet back up towards the end. I know several women here do that with their SOs.
As for the best bike for a newbie: bikes are like shoes! You need to just go try them out and pick which one fits you the best, then see if you can find a used one. You may also find a road bike too squirrely or too hard to ride due the bent position. So test riding would give you an idea what style of bike you're looking for.
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, strawberries in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming: "Yeah Baby! What a Ride!"