Witnessed an accident today

[berkeley]

My DH and I were on the way home from my parents house this afternoon and we were witnesses to a motorcycle accident. I'm having a lot of trouble decompressing from it, so I'm hoping that writing it all out will help.

There was a motorcycle in front of us on the highway, and he started to take the off-ramp to the weigh station. Except the weigh station was closed, and the gate was closed.

I turned to my husband (who was driving) and said "What the heck is that guy...." and I didn't get to finish the sentence before we saw him hit the gate, and go flying off his bike. The image keeps replaying in my head. Over and over the man goes sailing off his bike like a toy doll.

He wasn't wearing a helmet.

My DH stopped the car and got out. I called 911. I remember fumbling with my phone, carefully dialing the three numbers, feeling like it was taking forever. I thought I was very clear in describing where we were... except later I realized that I told them we were traveling east, but we were going west. Someone called after I did and got the direction right.

DH went over to the man, who was unconscious on the ground. I ran out of the car hollering "don't move him!". He was bleeding. Badly. I'll spare you the details, but he had massive head trauma.

Someone else stopped and ran toward us and asked "Does anyone have a first aid kit?". Then it hit me - YES, I do. I grabbed the kit from the car, put on the gloves and grabbed the biggest gauze pad I had and started compressing his head. He was still unconscious, but breathing.

More people started stopping, including two RN nurses. I wanted badly for one of them to take the responsibility of holding his head, the reality was starting to hit me. But at that point, he woke up and started getting irritated. He pushed my hands off his head, starting trying to get up, began yelling "Let me out!". It took all the people there to hold him on the ground, and I was designated to keep the bleeding under control. One of the RNs finally bound his hands, so that we could have some control over him. I yelled at him to stay down multiple times. I felt like I was living an ER episode where the patient doesn't want treatment and they need to get him under control.

The two RNs started bickering about what to do. We had accumulated critical mass at the side of the road now, almost too many cooks in the kitchen.

I remember thinking "Where ARE the EMTs?". It had probably been a total of 3 minutes. It felt like forever. And I was worried he was going to die right there, even though clearly I have no medical background to know if that was a reality or not.

I remember weird little details. Like the blood on one of the helper's shoe. The smashed windshield piece 20 feet away. The bottle of orange juice in the pannier.

The fire department showed up first, followed by the police. Quickly a line of emergency vehicles at least 12 deep formed, and I was finally relieved of my duty. My gloves were soaked in blood. They told me to go wash up with some virus killing foam and thanked me for helping out. They also said that since I was the only one to see the whole thing, that I had to stay to give my statement, but I sort of expected that.

I stayed back and watched the EMTs do what they had to do to get him secured and stable. He fought hard for someone with head trauma, that's for sure. There was some talk about him being a diabetic, and possibly being in diabetic shock. It would at least explain why he'd tried to go through the closed gate.

I called home to tell me parents that we weren't home yet - my mom had already called the house looking for me, so I wanted to tell them I was ok. My dad answered the phone, and I broke down. The man's motorcycle was almost exactly the same touring model as my dad's. And I had just taken a ride with him that afternoon. The man and my dad were about the same age too. It was all just too much to handle.

As I was giving my statement, the helicopter landed and they air lifted him to a hospital. The cop told me he was stable when they loaded him, so there was hope he was going to make it. I really hope he does.

The worst part is that as they were inspecting his bike, they found his helmet. It was packed in his pannier.

Things to take as lessons today:
1) Always be prepared. I have carried a first aid kit in my car for 10 years, and today was the only time I'd needed it.
2) Remind everyone to wear helmets. I have no doubt that the man would have been in much better shape if that helmet was on his head and not in his bag.

For all of you who do this day and day out, you have my utmost respect.

[MtnBikerChk]

O

M

G

They say you'll never know how you'll react to a situation until you are in it.....

You sound WAY braver than me. Awesome job keeping your wits about you and helping out. You have MY utmost respect.

[bmccasland]

(((((((((Berkeley)))))))))

Nothing quite like the Emergency time warp. Time rushes, time slows. And you wonder, did you do everything you could?

I've been on the scraping up the pieces (EMT) end, and have seen what can happen. Thank you for keeping your head.

I think the joy of the rush of the wind through your hair should only be saved for rollercoasters, or fast boats (wear your PFDs!).

Berkeley, take some slow deep breaths. You did a terrific job. You can relax now. And give your Dad another hug the next time you see him.

[LBTC]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Berkeley}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You did all the right things and responded better than I expect I would, and better than most people would. Like Beth said, Thank you for keeping your head. You can relax now.

I can understand the need to debrief / decompress. Anything to get those images out of your mind. If you're like me, you'll have to take them out and study them a bunch before you can let them go. If it helps, try to picture everything surrounded by butterflies. Including mr. motorcycle as he recovers in hospital. It will add some light and positive energy to the memories, and then, when you're done going over it again and again, you can watch each image fly away on butterfly wings.

Post again if you want/need to. That's what we ar here for.

Hugs and butterflies,
~T~

[KnottedYet]

Good job, Berkeley.

Those are tough ones to handle, and you did it all right.

Thank you for what you did.

[berkeley]

Thanks all for the kind words, guys.

LBTC - that's exactly it. I'm replaying it over and over in my head - I've even reread my own post about a half dozen times. I can't let go.

I'm trying to figure out how I can check on him to see if he's OK. I know his first name, and that's it. I'm not even sure what hospital he went to. I'll check the police logs, maybe they'll say where he went and I can track him down.

[KnottedYet]

If you can't let go yet, don't let go. Let your mind settle the images. Maybe it'll take a day or two or three.

If after a week or so your mind is still chewing it over, I'd highly recommend seeing a counsellor for a tune up. My ex and I witnessed a very ugly domestic violence/attempted murder. Seeing a counsellor afterward was a huge help, especially later when we had to be witnesses at the perpetrator's trial and it all came up AGAIN.

You experienced a trauma. Think of it as an injury that needs to heal. It will be ok.

[pardes]

Berkeley, I'm so thankful you were there and didn't just keep driving.

It was a terrible thing that you witnessed but you transcended all the adrenalin and gore and became the good Samaritan.

It brings tears to my eyes, tears of joy as much as tears of horror at the carnage to read your account and I feel as if I've now known you for years. Thank you for that gift.

[shootingstar]

Hope he doesn't suffer head injury..

You did your very best under very trying circumstances. I hope the patient will understand your efforts one day.

If you have access to professional help just to talk out this incident if those memory images don't go away after a few days or so, make use of such services.

It is most shocking to be reminded so unexpectedly of life, health and...love. Wonder if the accident victim had family / close friends living in the same city, in such a time of need.

One of my sisters was in a car accident as a driver. Interestingly she was on her way to work, at a hospital as the regular physician (family med. & emergency medical services). She slid on black ice and her car, slid into a bush..stopping within 10 ft. of going over a cliff. It completely damaged her car. She kept on having recurring (traumatic) images of trees crashing over her, which is what did happen..

When she told me this 1 wk. after accident, she looked as if she was going to vomit. The memory trauma was that great.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Berkley, you should be so proud of what you did.
Playing it over and over in your head is totally normal. Just let it replay until your inner self can be ok with it all. It'll evolve naturally.

[maillotpois]

Well done, you, for holding it together and being such a help. Even more so given the similarities to your dad's bike, etc.

How can someone ride without a helmet??? I can't even imagine. I feel vulnerable enough the days I commute to work on the bike and wear JEANS instead of my protective riding pants (with my protective jacket). Cannot even imagine leaving the head exposed!

I'd like to think I'd be composed and helpful in a situation like that but you NEVER know until you are put to the test. Which you passed with flying colors.

[berkeley]

How can someone ride without a helmet??? I can't even imagine. I feel vulnerable enough the days I commute to work on the bike and wear JEANS instead of my protective riding pants (with my protective jacket). Cannot even imagine leaving the head exposed!

There's no law in CT on motorcycle helmets. Of the bikers I see out, I'd guess 75% DON'T wear helmets. In fact, we saw probably another dozen bikers out without a helmet today on our way home after the accident!!

I don't get it myself. At all. My dad is a very cautious biker, and always wears his helmet, thankfully. Otherwise, he'd be getting an earful right about now!

[KnottedYet]

If he was diabetic and had very high or very low blood sugar, he might have taken risks he normally wouldn't have. My mom is diabetic and I am hypoglycemic; weird stuff happens when the blood sugar is off.

Not wearing his helmet, exiting onto a semi-truck weigh station ramp, driving into a closed gate; all could be blood sugar related.

Berkeley, I am so proud of you for handling the situation the way you did. Whatever lead that biker to crash, you certainly helped save him!

[Tuckervill]

How fortunate the man was that someone like you was available to help him.

It's going to keep coming back for a while. If I were you I'd make a concentrated effort to find out where he is and see him in better condition. It will help you focus on the rest of the story.

When the streetsweeper knocked my Beetle around the intersection and I slammed my shoulder into the card door, I was sooooo grateful to the woman who stopped and checked on me, held my hand while we waited for the ambulance, and called my husband and very carefully let him know I was going to be okay, but that I would need him at the hospital. I never got a chance to thank her more formally since I was carried off in the ambulance.

Your beneficiary may not get a chance to thank you, but I'll thank you on his behalf. It was a kind thing you did. I hope you find a way to get past the trauma. Come and talk about it as much as you want.

Karen

[mimitabby]

what a story {{{{BERKELEY}}}}
you're a hero!