Do you schmooze?

[spotlightmama]

I tend to be a bit of an introvert by nature. I am not good at sales, and that includes selling myself.

After five years of working from home, I am looking for a fulltime position out of the house. I'm always amazed by people that can network. How do you do it? I found a job that really caught my eye and applied through the company's online system. I don't feel like that is enough; I don't want to get lost in a sea of resumes, KWIM?

Do you network? Do you get aggressive in a job search? I'm trying to think outside of my own comfort zone, but I'm not sure where the line is between making myself stand out and being obnoxious, lol. Should I directly email my resume to the Manager of Recruiting?

The sad part of all of this is that I used to be a Recruiting Manager - you'd think I'd have all the answers, lol!

So schmoozers and people persons - what are your tips of the trade??

[indigoiis]

Shy, introverted people are valuable too. I've always found that when I went for a job that I really wanted or needed, I've found the right chutzpah to express what I had to offer while still remaining me. If I had to go outside of my self and act like something I wasn't, then I usually didn't get the job (and, in the long run, the job wasn't really for me, anyway.)

The best jobs are those for which you feel the employer will fill a need - you need a job where you are comfortable, where you can use your talent, and where you are useful. They need someone to perform certain tasks. It is the interview where you can find out what it is they need and then, in your own terms, express how you may be able to fill that need.

Mom always told me, find their need and see if you can fill it.

It's not schmoozing if you are having a conversation about something you are passionate about. Whether you are describing a methodology or conversationally talking about your riding, the more real you are, the more a recruiter is going to think of you as a potential.

[ginny]

this is a recurring theme for me... I am also a TOTAL introvert. I am a science geek to boot. My last mentor taught me some great stuff that I'll pass along.... networking is in the eye of the beholder. I mean, it may look like networking for me to get someone who is an expert in his/her field to write a letter of recommendation for me, but if that person is my best friend, it doesn't feel like schmoozing to me.

I was at a formal event (first one since prom), and met a fellow biochemist. We chatted all evening - didn't talk to anyone else all night but my bf. This person has since called a colleague of his and told him that while he doesn't know how good my 'hands' are, he did discuss science with me all night. So, was that schmoozing? Probably, but it felt like talking about a favorite nephew or something all night .

My favorite mentor always told me to tell everyone I know when I'm looking for a job. Call all your friends. Send an email to people even sort-of friends. You never know who may know someone who knows someone who can get you that perfect job. Now, I am currently really looking for a career somewhere and I have my eye on one particular job. I applied (even though I am not a toxicologist), but that wasn't enough for me. I emailed a letter to the CEO of the company as well with my CV attached. It is a small company. He personally replied and HR called me within 20 minutes of me sending that email. That was schmoozing for sure. Now, I have spoken with everyone I have ever met in the city where that job is and asked if they know anyone there, and if they do, I flat out ask them to put a good word in for me.

Do I have an offer on the table? Nope. Will I eventually? Yup. One thing 'soft money' has taught me is to always keep looking and maybe someday if I click the heels of my shoes together, I'll find my prefect job complete with benefits and 'hard money'. Best of luck to you! You can do the schmooze thing - especially if you just schmooze among your best friends for now

[F8th637]

I don't necessarily think that you have to directly sell yourself to successfully network. To me, schmoozing is a more social kind of networking. Having an open conversation about something you can intelligently speak to with the right person can make all the difference. You don't have to go down a list of your successes and skills. You don't have to sell yourself, you just have to get the word out. Let people know what you are interested in and that you are looking for a new job. Plant those seeds. Give people a way to contact you should something seem like a fit. You don't have to pass out cards but make sure there is some way to contact you whether it's through a friend or another colleague. Also, checked out LinkedIn.com which is a business networking tool and look for your old clients in there. They can even right recommendations for you. From one introvert to another, good luck!

[sundial]

100 years ago when I used to work for corporations, I found that when I focused on my strengths and, I developed confidence that many employers appreciated. I also networked with friends to find the jobs. You would be surprised how many employers would rather find new people through their acquaintances rather than through applicants responding to their classified ads.

[Mr. Bloom]

Interesting that you consider yourself introverted but that you call yourself spotlightmomma

Can you define schmoozing? I can't...but I know it when I see it...and I detest it. Schmoozers are folks who I tend to tolerate, but not seek.

So, I'm going to separate "schmoozing" from your question...because it's very different from being a "people person".

My suggestions:

1. Do NOT sell yourself short. You say you are not good at sales...but if you're selling yourself short, then you're good at sales...just not in a good way. Know what you offer...and if your first thought is "but I don't really have anything to offer", then read the first five words of this bullet point again
2. Do not be obnoxious, but don't be afraid to push the envelope; you don't have much to lose by being a bit aggressive. Don't hound, but call, email, whatever. Don't limit yourself to the Manager of Recruiting, but figure out who's making the hiring decision as well and contact them too. Don't stalk them, but something that get's your name in front of them is good.
3. Try to leverage sincere relationships with people. Get the door open for you...when a position comes open, you want someone saying to a decision maker "we need spotlightmomma" for that job.
4. Be natural...insincerity is schmoozing.
5. Be confident...each day, that recruiter puts their pants/skirt on the same way as you. Don't be intimidated by them.
6. Practice what you want to say...practice instills confidence.
7. Don't let rejection bother you...sometimes the time/place is just not right. It's not about you. Your job is to sort the places out that have the right position from the places that don't. If you get a "no", that's one less place to waste your time on (and it's good to know where NOT to waste your time).

Here's an example...my next door neighbor (and investment manager). He is one of the top stock brokers in town. He NEVER makes a sales call. BUT he builds relationships with people. He is an honest man in a business that is stereotyped by dishonest people. He is sincere and genuinely cares. He's not a schmoozer...he is only involved in things that he has a passion for - his church, feeding the hungry, clothing the poor - and is a model of humility in everything he does. Now, here's the clincher: IN A SMALL CITY, HE IS ONE OF THE TOP PRODUCERS IN THE ENTIRE REGION FOR THE LARGEST BROKERAGE COMPANY IN THE WORLD. No schmoozing, no selling, no golf, no drinking, no smoking, no cussing...just sincere pursuit of people and causes for which he has a passion and that enable him to build relationships with like-minded folks...now, that's effective networking, because the by-product of this makes him a good living.

[Mr. Bloom]

You know, as I reread Sundial's comments, I just said the same thing. She just did it with considerable efficiency

[spotlightmama]

Thank you so much for all of these great replies! I should I say I mean "schmooze" in a bit of a tongue and cheek way. I truly am impressed with people that are able to build such a vast network of contacts. Mr.Silver - I really appreciate the story about your neighbor - it's a good reminder about where to keep your priorities.

As I mentioned, I used to be a recruiter. Of course I hired people that went above and beyond. I just have a hard time putting myself out there like that when it's about me. I think I just need to "play the role" - not in a disingenuous way, but more in a "fake it until you learn to feel it" way.

I'm sure there are some larger issues at play - getting back into the workforce after five years of working at home is a bit daunting. Maybe there are some insecurities rearing their heads. I have to remember that I do have things to offer and sell my strengths! I'm feeling more inspired!

[mimitabby]

yeah, i wanna know too. I'm very introverted in person and have been painting A LOT. People tell me it's very nice stuff
but clearly you have to network to find people to buy.

so tell me about how you picked Spotlightmama?

[spotlightmama]

yeah, i wanna know too. I'm very introverted in person and have been painting A LOT. People tell me it's very nice stuff
but clearly you have to network to find people to buy.

so tell me about how you picked Spotlightmama?

It's a reference to the Captain Beefheart song, "The Spotlight Kid." My mom always sang that to me growing up; now that I have kids, I figure I'm no longer the Spotlight Kid, but now a Spotlightmama.

ETA: What type of things do you paint, Mimi? Is any of your subject matter cycling related? I was just thinking that there is a new little restaurant in my area that is cycling-themed. Maybe they would be interested in some pieces? Here is their site: http://www.bikesbeansandbordeaux.com/ They seem like really great people.

[shootingstar]

Hmm..yea, schmoozing or networking just one of those necessary things related to work..
I've always identified schmoozing as going to lunch with work-related friends,etc.

I'm pretty hermity at lunch at work..for most of the employers I've worked for. Simply because I hated kissin' a**. And many employees I find just pleasant, but superficial friendships. I am quite careful and highly selective who I will form work-related friendships.

As for within my profession, I had to make myself to get involved in associations as a volunteer, etc. That helps. First few organizing meetings are awkward and stiff. It also helps to publish in association newsletters, etc. on topics that you have learned much and want to impart to others.


but oh...yea..it's related to extracurricular activities too that blend into work..I realized I probably made a networking faux pas....by forgetting to promote the Carbon-Free Commuter challenge for our organization. The VP in our organization, jokes about this in a nice way to me...about not leading. (But in retrospect I would have had serious problems getting firm to pay $300.00 to participate..they are cheap in certain areas..including NOT paying for team tshirts for a corporate 10 KM jogging team for a major city-wide run event.)

I think made a schmoozing faux pas.

Gawd, --what a cycling hermit, worker outcast, I am..

[mimitabby]

It's a reference to the Captain Beefheart song, "The Spotlight Kid." My mom always sang that to me growing up; now that I have kids, I figure I'm no longer the Spotlight Kid, but now a Spotlightmama.

ETA: What type of things do you paint, Mimi? Is any of your subject matter cycling related? I was just thinking that there is a new little restaurant in my area that is cycling-themed. Maybe they would be interested in some pieces? Here is their site: http://www.bikesbeansandbordeaux.com/ They seem like really great people.

that's REALLY cute about your name.
thanks for the link. I paint all sorts of stuff, but mainly people. I wonder what a cafe in Florida would think of paintings of bicyclists all dresssed up in their winter garb in In Seattle??!
http://mimitabby.blogspot.com (scroll down a bit to see bike paintings)

[spotlightmama]

that's REALLY cute about your name.
thanks for the link. I paint all sorts of stuff, but mainly people. I wonder what a cafe in Florida would think of paintings of bicyclists all dresssed up in their winter garb in In Seattle??!
http://mimitabby.blogspot.com (scroll down a bit to see bike paintings)

Oh wow Mimi - those are beautiful!! The Auras ones in particular are absolutely stunning - I can completely see those in this little restaurant! Do you have any cards or anything I can take and drop off? I'm not entirely sure how those things work, but maybe you can hang them for sale?

Oh, and they'd just think it was December here, lol. As soon as it hits 65 degrees, everybody is in a ski jacket.

(And look at us - we schmoozed a little! )

[Mr. Bloom]

mimi, that is good stuff.

Hmmm, is that Raleighdon I see in Rush Hour?

[NbyNW]

Mimi, your paintings are beautiful! Have you tried Ugly Mug in the U. District or Bottle Rocket Cafe in Wallingford (it was Asterioid Cafe before it moved to Fremont)?

Years ago, I worked for a political consultant, so there was a lot of "schmoozing" involved. The boss liked to emphasize that it was about relationship-building. It was a mix of getting good at small talk and also meeting some really genuine people. One time, we all took the Myers-Briggs test as a little professional development exercise and when we shared our results, turns out I was one of only three introverts in the company . . . and the boss was another!

I was raised also not to toot my own horn -- my mom likes to say there were jobs waiting for them when their generation finished college, and she thinks some of the things I put on my resume sound like bragging. But these days, you HAVE to be proactive. And it's not bragging if it's true.

I say be proactive rather than aggressive. Find an approach that works for you, that you're comfortable with. Try doing some informational interviews. They're a great way to learn about an employer and practice talking about yourself without the pressure of whether a job is on the line. Send thank you notes and stay in touch with people! Those are things you can do without feeling like you're doing the icky-schmoozy thing.