Halloween - need advice

[violette]

Every year, a couple in our subdivision have a pumpkin carving party. Last year they didn't invite us until our daughter found out the same day of the party. She was at their house. The couple then called to invite us.

Same party this year, no invite. Our daugther is best friends with their daughter, they've invited us over for drinks a few times. We really enjoy each other's company. They had a pool party, no invite, kids did Christmas Caroling, my daughter was not invited. What would do if this happened to you. We found out this morning from our neighbours that the party is this Saturday, and I'm starting to get P*** off.

[Pedal Wench]

Personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with people who are as inconsiderate as these folks. You're better off without friends like that.

[pinkychique]

What if you threw a party without inviting them? See how they like it.

But really, it's immaturity on their part, and you won't be able to change them.

See if you can find other parties to go to, or throw your own. People can be weird like them, for no real reason.

If you can ask around and see what it is that they are mad about or just don't want to invite you for (better yet if you can talk to them without making it weird), then you'll know.

[violette]

Last year when she called me at 5pm the night of the party to invite me, she said anyone can come, you don't need an invite. Well everybody had gotten an invite. I was very insulted and told her, this is pretty short notice, we made other plans. but really, we hadn't.

[Zen]

Why don't you ask them?

[grey]

Ouch. What a mean thing to do!

I would say they aren't really your friends. I understand its their party and they can invite whomever they wish, but if you get along well ordinarily, and throw back a few together, then I wonder what is wrong? Did something happen once that maybe upset them? Is there someone else in the party that has an issue?

Is there a gentle way to ask? I know it's hard, because they are in the wrong and you are hurt, but you'd rather know why they choose not to invite you, I'm sure.

I'm not saying it's you, or if it was, that you did it on purpose. Who knows? You might have accidentally said "retard" in conversation and it turns out they have a sibling who is disabled and took extreme offense or something.

Me, I prefer it if people tell me if they have a problem. Skirting it like this is just not fair to any party involved.

[indysteel]

I would talk to them directly about it. Tell her that if she was just excluding you and your husband, it would be one thing, but she's excluding your daughter--her own daughter's best friend. For the sake of the kids, then, I would ask her to explain what they have against you. Otherwise, they don't sound like the kind of people I'd want to be friends with.

[Irulan]

Personally, I wouldn't want to be friends with people who are as inconsiderate as these folks. You're better off without friends like that.

No kidding. Don't take it personally that they are jerks. Let it go. Do you own thing and don't let their crap bring negativity into your life. You can choose your reaction by either getting sucked into the neighborhood drama, or choosing not to react.

If you have to answer questions from your kid, just be truthful, :" I don't know why they didn't send an invitation, but it doesn't feel very good, does it? Are we going to let their bad behavior ruin our day?"

If they are jerks, who cares that they didn't invite you to their party?

[mimitabby]

Boy, i' m glad i don't have to do social stuff with my neighbors. The only thing you probably have in common is the fact that you are paying about the same amount of money for your house.
find something else to do. Take your daughter trick or treating in the richest neighborhood in town.

[violette]

thanks for you support. My daughter has been invited to a halloween party that day, from 2-6pm. I'm so glad.

Last night I purposly asked my sitter (who is invited to the party) if she was going, she said "yes we are", are you going? I said "no, because we weren't invited" You should have seen the look on her face. I'm sure the word will get around of what I said. Anyway, Halloween night, I've also made arrangements for my daugther to go trick or treating with someone else. So that's it for our friendship.