How to handle a stupid question

[chickwhorips]

(I need to try this sometime)

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my pet dog, Athena, and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I don't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care Ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I though the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Here's your sign.

[TexasMermaid]

Love this! (And love Bill Engvall - got a flat car tire there? Nope it was the darndest thing, all of a sudden the other three just swelled up! here's your sign)

thanks for the giggle.

[Zen]

oh my.

Thank you.

[Eden]

speaking of stupid questions - I walked into a bike shop with my full team kit, cycling shoes, helmet and messenger bag on and was asked (by someone I knew) if I was still riding my bike.... ummm yeah....

[KnottedYet]

Ahhh, Bill Engvall.... His description of the way a parent can LEAP out of bed from a deep sleep at the merest hint of the sound of a child puking had me laughing so hard I nearly peed my pants! Boy, do I know that wake-up miracle!

(BTW, SKnot say's he's been feeling nauseous and was afraid he's toss during class today. sigh...)

[ginny]

So, did you have to practice that over many years of hearing the same stupid question, or are you witty enough to come up with that off the cuff? I am humbled by your wittiness... and wiping tears out of my eyes... that was great!

[jobob]

Oh that was bee-you-tee-ful.

But, who's Bill Engvall? and what's that "Here's your sign" about?

- jo "why yes, I do live under a rock" bob

[Zen]

Jobob, I know who Bill Engvall is but I don't know what his sign refers to.

[jobob]

Ah, of course, Wikipedia - The Source of All Worth Knowing.

Thankyee kindly, Zen!

Ed to add: Oh cool, it even links to an explanation of "Here's your sign":
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Bill_Engvall

------------------------
Here's Your Sign
Engvall's trademark routine is "Here's Your Sign". Often, it involves a person asking a stupid question, to which Bill gives a sarcastic answer in return, followed by the line "Here's your sign".

His explanation for the "signs": ' I just hate stupid people. They should have to wear signs that say "I'm Stupid". That way you wouldn't rely on them, and you wouldn't ask them for nothing.'
-------------------------------

[Tuckervill]

Will and I picked up his new book on audio at Cracker Barrel this weekend. We thought it was going to be his comedy, but it was autobiographical. It was really funny, but also really sweet.

So much for "blue collar". Bill's dad was a doctor and he never hurt for money, that's for sure.

People shouldn't really write an autobiography until they're really old, though.

Karen

[wannaduacentury]

(I need to try this sometime)

Yesterday I was at Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my pet dog, Athena, and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I don't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.
Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care Ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I though the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

Here's your sign.

LOLOLOL! very creative answer