unreasonable goals

[stacie]

My friend J stumbled across info on the Aids Lifecycle ride about a month ago. He asked if I was interested and I told him no way. I wasn't prepared physically or financially for something like that the first week of June. He has since decided to do it. He's created a blog and started collecting the money. AND, looking to purchase a bike. Yesterday, I told him that I thought this was an unreasonable goal and he should pick something closer to home and with more reasonable mileage. He hasn't even ridden a bike and he's planning to cross the country and ride 575 miles in 7 days. I see this all the time and I believe inexperienced riders put themselves and others at risk when they set out on these types of adventures unprepared. Another friend bought a bike a few weeks before the MS 150 in order to do it. Overtired and undertrained, he did crash and take a few others down with him. Last night J's mom took my indoor cycling class. Btw, J tried about a month ago and was unable to complete a class. J's mom said they watched an infomercial about the ride and it was very encouraging for people who were not experienced. Basically, I'm the only naysayer. I personally believe J sets unattainable goals and focuses on the excitement rather than addressing the fact that he needs to start a basic fitness program. Friends and family cheer him on and he's just putting on the pounds and not really accomplishing anything except a distraction from the real issue. I'm now the bad guy for not supporting him.

[Veronica]

I'm with you. He doesn't even own a bike yet? Yeah, that's crazy. What if he hates riding?

V.

[Bad JuJu]

Right. And the fact that he couldn't finish the spinning class suggests not only that he's not in shape for a long ride, but also that he has no idea how to pace himself. Sounds like a recipe for...maybe not disaster, but certainly for failure.

[Kimmyt]

OTOH, maybe he will find out he really loves cycling and found the encouragement in this AIDS ride (which I'm assuming is a supported ride) to do something he never thought he could do.

You've told him what you thought, and he didn't listen. Is he your friend?

Sometimes we just have to sit by and let our friends do what they want and offer support if they fail. Not 'I told you so's. They are adults after all.

Yes, 575 miles in 7 days is a lot, especially for someone who just bought a bike and has never cycled before. It sounds near impossible to me, and I have a feeling he'll realize this on about Day 1 of the ride, but he'll be realizing this FOR HIMSELF and not with someone telling him what he can't do (everytime someone tells me what I can't do, I know that I am that much more determined to do it). But also keep in mind that there are people out there that just decide to do something, and surprisingly enough, do it.

Why don't you use your experience to try and help your friend prepare for this, go on some training rides with him, instead of simply naysaying him.

[Batbike]

I believe that encouraging your friend will do more than "naysaying". Maybe, just maybe, they will finish the ride and it will change their life because they accomplished a goal; maybe they will ride only half way and it will change their life because they worked toward a goal; and maybe they will plan for the ride and it will change their life because they now have new goals and dreams yet to accomplish. To me, cycling is more than about riding the bike, it is life-altering, and as cyclists, we need to support each other by help and encouragement.

A personal story: Way back when, over 20 years ago, I was in college and owned a tour bike. I never really rode it, except sporadically. In fact, during my last year of school it was stored in my parent's house 100's of miles away! Right before graduation a friend of mine, who grew-up in New Orleans, asked me if I would ride my bike with him, from Georgia, to visit his mom in New Orleans --he had no other way to get home but with his bike and did not want to ride alone. I said "yes". So, after graduation I picked-up my dusty bike and rode it, full gear and no training, to New Orleans. It took a week and we rode through 5 states to get there. NOT saying is a wise idea, but I did it -- mind over matter, or just the stupidity of youth, but I did it. I will never forget the experience. It changed my life -- not immediately, but long-term, and in so many many ways!!! So, you JUST NEVER KNOW ... a bike can do wonderful things to people, especially when they least expect it!

[KnottedYet]

And there is always the option of volunteering to crew the ALC. There are tons of volunteer positions, crew can fundraise, and crew gets to participate just as much as the riders do. (they just don't ride, but the crew is equally important. ALC wouldn't happen without crew!)

If he finds that physically he just can't do the ride by June, would he be willing to contact a volunteer co-ordinator?

[Trek420]

This year is my 3rd time riding, 5th time participating (crewed one year, led or I should say swept training rides another). Yes, it is an impossible goal and I've done it twice.

I gotta go to work right now so I'll just vote:

Encourage him but this should be a long term goal.

Can he train, fundraise if he wants to but crew this year and ride next?

His goal should be to do at least one or more centuries this year, maybe even one of the other AIDS rides, MS 150 etc. Come crew with us, it's much harder than riding anyway and do the long ride NEXT year.

[CR400]

I guess it is more important to tell him how you feel about it, then leave the choice up to him. After that whatever he chooses be there for him as support. That seems like a big goal but then again maybe not. It really comes down to how motivated the person is. As far as the fact he has never completed a spin class is not a true marker of a person's cycling fitness. I had ridden a century and many shorter long rides, but when it came to my first spin class I didn't make it. Spin instructors have got to admit they put a lot of worthless exercises in classes that don't carry over to what people do on a bike. Sometimes the only similarity is the fact you are pedaling.

[stacie]

Yes, he is my friend. That is why I am struggling with this. I felt obligated to tell him how I felt. I did not and still do not feel that it is reasonable for a person who has never ridden and has no fitness base to attempt this. I know it probably hurt him a bit that I don't "believe" in him. But, now I have a clear conscious as he spends his savings on plane fare for this event.
Yes, I will give him advice on buying a bike and safety on the road. He can start riding as soon as he buys a bike. If I were taller, I'd give him one of mine. But as for training, my training time is the only thing that I have that I' m not sharing.
Thanks for all your input. I'm confident that I did the right thing by stating my opinion. I hope now he'll go and prove me wrong.

[Bluetree]

Stacie, I think you did the right thing. One thing I expect from my friends is total honesty, even though it may not be the things I want to hear. (Yes, even if it makes me look fat.)
I hope he does prove you wrong. And me, too, since I agree with you about the reasonable-ness.

[Batbike]

i agree with those that say it COULD be too much; i agree with those that say he has time and IF he is serious and works hard, he COULD do the ride

AND I believe honesty is good, and as his friend it is important to tell him your concerns about his physical condition, the demands of the ride, and how it would be best if the "two were equal" ... then, as a friend, share your experience, encourage positive behavior, and let him figure-out the rest for himself!

i learned this from dealing with my DH -- he thought that riding a bike was no big deal, got a road bike and started riding. it only took a few rides with others to realize it wasn't as easy as he thought, and that he needed to rethink what he was doing and what he could really do ... action is an amazing teacher!

so, i say, encourage your friend to get a bike, help him get a bike, share your experience with him, say nothing else, and then let him ride ... you just NEVER know what can happen ... June is not tomorrow; June is the future, and the future is always an interesting uncertainty.

[Veronica]

My comment about the spin class was just about his motivation. You can't do a multi day ride if you're not fit and from the original post, I'm inferring he's not. And if he hasn't been back, is he motivated?

It sounds like he doesn't have a bike yet, so he's not riding outside. If you're going from a base of nothing to riding several hundred miles in a week, in less than 4 months, he needs to get training.

Be supportive and encouraging all you want, but he has to ride the miles and they are not flat.

V.

[Trek420]

Be supportive and encouraging all you want, but he has to ride the miles and they are not flat.

V.

V, I'm shocked You mean it's not all downhill to LA? But yes, the miles are not all flat.

Perhaps more important is what goes up must come down. I saw some crashes last time I think were because people focus so much on climbing skills they neglect descending skills. You can't learn that in spin class.

You need strength certainly but also skills to manage a long ride or multi day tour.

I'd better train.

[Bluetree]

V, I'm shocked You mean it's not all downhill to LA?

Trek... I hope you're not insinuating that Los Angeles is as "low as it gets"

[stacie]

thanks trek, i hadn't even realized there were difficult climbs and descents. We're still working on why you should ride with the flow of traffic. Gulp.