I also had better luck shifting in front with Campy than I did with Shimano STI. However, my Campy bike is a compact double, and my Shimano STI bike was a triple, and that may make some difference.
The easiest of all to shift in front is bar-end shifters, but unless you build a custom bike, I don't think you can get those any more. I got them on my Bike Friday Pocket Crusoe with a Shimano Ultegra triple, and I can shift in front very, very easily. Unfortunately, some "improvements" in components over time (like STI) are not helpful for some people.
I do think you'll have better shifting performance from higher-end Shimano components, like 105 or Ultegra, but even my Ultegra-equipped bike with STI was a bit hard to shift up in front unless *perfectly* adjusted. And I don't even have small hands - I just didn't have the hand muscle strength needed once my hands got tired on a ride!
Good luck - and no, you are NOT alone. I have seen posts about this very topic on numerous forums over the years. Male LBS employees just don't get this as their hands are naturally larger and stronger!
Emily
Emily
2011 Jamis Dakar XC "Toto" - Selle Italia Ldy Gel Flow
2007 Trek Pilot 5.0 WSD "Gloria" - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow
2004 Bike Friday Petite Pocket Crusoe - Selle Italia Diva Gel Flow