Ugh, that was rotten luck, especially your first time out.
You might want to take a road riding safety / skills class from the League of American Bicyclists or other organization to gain more confidence and more specific information about road riding skills. Your friends might not know or haven't articulated a lot of road riding skills. Someone posted a very informative link on the 10 most common accidents and how to avoid them - hopefully they will post it again, I'd like to save it this time! For many of them (including cars entering a side street from the right) it helps to ride farther out into the lane - you are more visible this way. Plus if there are parked cars, you need to ride 2-3 feet away to avoid sudden door opening anyway. The other main theme is the ability to make sudden emergency turns - so that you can suddenly turn right, remaining on the left side of a car that pulls out from the right (or on the right side of a car making a left handed turn towards you).
The other thing is to find a safer route to work. Busy streets are usually not the answer. Check to see if your city has a map of bike routes, and also look at things like "map my ride" to see what streets the bicyclists in town are actually riding. Usually less busy streets that parallel the main streets are a better bet than the busy streets themselves. I think the traffic circles sound a lot better - I can understand being gun-shy because of traffic entering from the right, but traffic circles are traffic calming devices. You should be able to go as fast or nearly as fast as the cars, so you can take up the entire right lane, and will be much more visible. (Only about 1% of accident are being hit from behind.) Cars will also be looking more carefully to the left, since cars can enter the traffic circle at any time. On busy roads with lots of lights, there are often gaps in the traffic that you can (and will) end up in, and the cars will not be looking as carefully during the gaps. (The gaps are also what makes it easier to cross busy streets when taking side streets. It is frustrating to have to wait, but it is really no longer than waiting at a red light really). The other advantage of traffic circles is that typically people will drive more slowly between them; with speed bumps, cars actually accelerate and achieve the same mean speed. This is why my city is going to mini-traffic circles in neighborhoods rather than speed bumps.
Last, lighting can help, even during the day. I have a 400 lumen light on my helmet that I can flash at drivers if it looks like they will be doing something foolish... just like when driving, you get an intuition about what traffic will be doing. Mine is a white light, but a yellow light is even more visible during the day -- Di-Notte makes a 200 lumen yellow light for the day. For night, I have a generator light, the 400 lumen helmet light (turned down to 200 lumens), back 400 lumen red light, a red blinkie on the back, red blinkies at the end of my drop bars, reflective tire sidewalls (I'm going to add spoke lights too), and I have an amber downtube light that I will mount for the winter. Right now I have a white light on a wristband to indicate turns at night; I will be going to a solar-recharged amber wristband to replace this. I also have various reflective things such as a waistbelt and ankle bands (with RoadID info on them). About 28% of accidents occur after dark involving bikes that have no lights; and only about 13% of rides occur after dark (lights or no lights). Just putting a $20 light on the front and blinkie on the back greatly increase your safety.



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