Racing against your friends

[limewave]

I have a big race coming up this fall and am trying to do the occasional training ride with some friends. We are all competitive and at the same level. Last night I was discussing the upcoming mountain bike race with one of these friends and she got very upset. She's done this race for several years and this will be my first time.

She doesn't want me to race in the same category. I guess that a previous year she let a friend "draft" behind her for ten miles and then the friend took off on a climb and ended up beating her. She felt used and that it was unfair. And she doesn't want to feel like there is a target on her back. She hates it when she's riding or running with someone the entire race and then beat her at the sprint. Her thought is that the other person has been using her to pace or draft the whole race and she should get the "win".

My feelings is that it's all about strategy. If she doesn't have the power to finish fast and strong . . .

And can you really "draft" in a mountain bike race when you're averaging 8-9 mph? I could see how she was helping the friend to pace . . . but draft? Seems like an excuse to me.

Anyways, I don't see the harm in racing against my friends. There's no way around it, I do have a target on her (in a friendly way). I know we're at similar levels and that we can push each other to ride faster. I know that trying to keep up with her or even beat her will push me to do my best. What's wrong with that? If she beats me, great!!! I don't really care, it's about pushing each other to do our best.

And it seems silly that because she's done this race before she feels that she has the authority to tell me I can't race in Sport and that I need to cat-down--just so she can feel better.

How do all of you feel about racing against your friends? Why can't it be racing with your friends?

[Suechoccy]

Racing is competition.
Competition is about beating your rivals.
Treating friends as rivals and rivals as friends can be difficult at times and no matter what men say, I reckon women are far more competitive and *****y, esp when we lose!
You want to race so race. If you beat her, it means she hasn't trained well enough. If she doesn't want people to beat her, she shouldn't risk it by entering races.
gosh, I am *****y.....

the starred-out word maybe is a swear-word in US. In UK it is the name for a female dog which we use to describe any woman who is showing her jealousy and being a bit spiteful. no offence intended.

[Veronica]

I raced a duathlon last year with a good friend of mine. It was her first race and she had an awesome time - placed in our age group. I... did not. I was really pleased for her, but still disappointed that I hadn't done my best. We ride and run together because we push other and we each want the other to do her best. I guess a lot depends on what kind of friends you are and what the race means to you.

When I'm racing, yeah I am competing with other people, but the REAL competition is with myself. Can I do better? Can I improve?

Veronica

[Eden]

I'm always racing with/against my friends... in a community like women bike racers you tend to become friends with almost everyone - but when we are on the race course its time to not be (or take it) personal...

In any case its only her own fault if someone "drafts" behind her for miles then out sprints her... I only road race, so I don't know if its possible to draft in a mt bike race, but its her responsibility to get the other person to work with her. If she doesn't want to be out front the whole time she needs to take care of it. Just sitting on the front and then whining when the other person beats her just tells me that she doesn't know anything about tactics, which is just as important as fitness.

Race the category you want to race. If you end up behind her for some reason, the sweetest thing would be to get around her ASAP and drop her...... then she won't be able to complain.

[firenze11]

I agree, I think you should be able to race the race. She doesn't own it and it sounds like she's hurt and maybe insecure from her last experience.

It seems like she got wrapped up in an odd mental place. I can't imagine not wanting my friends to be in a race. First of all, it's their choice. And secondly, that's part of the fun, they push me and I push them. A little healthy competition is good!

I say go do it and race YOUR race. Have fun. And maybe you'll set an example that racing with friends can be fun.

[limewave]

All of you are affirming my feelings. She does seem to be taking it way too personally.

We had done some ARs together and she was really snippy about those too. I won't even go into the drama of what happened at those, but I left the last one wondering why she's my teammate. . . . but it's hard to find women that are interested in AR's.

Anyways, I'm going to try and ignore her and enjoy the race. DH is also racing and we have a babysitter for the entire weekend. I will not let her ruin my fun--life is too short.

[tulip]

Good for you. She obviously has issues, and only she can work on them if she wants to make the effort to do so.

Have a wonderful time! Post a post-race update!

[SheFly]

I agree with everyone else here - go and race! Like Eden, I have become friends with many of the women against whom I race. On race day, however, the gloves are off. And frankly, if they beat me it is because they were better, smarter, faster than I was that day.

Re: drafting in an MTB race. It depends on the course. If there are a lot of fireroad/carriage road sections, this is certainly possible. I know that I have used someone to draft in an MTB race, but when it comes to a technical section that doesn't work so well. Your friend clearly doesn't understand race tactics if she let herself get into the position of dragging someone around to get beaten on the line. Many of us have learned this lesson the hard way!

Good luck in the race (and definitely do the Sport category). Let us know how it went.

SheFly

[limewave]

The race isn't until November . . . But I'll be sure to post a race update. It's going to be a tough event. With my schedule right now, I'm lucky if I get out to ride once a week. And ecstatic if I get a mountain bike ride in once a month!