My friend rides faster and Dh got the frame I wanted ... Boo hoo for me!!!

[Jiffer]

I'm probably riding better than I ever have lately, having improved greatly in the past year. However, my joy in riding well is being tainted by the fact that my riding buddy seems to have escalated in her riding considerably all of a sudden. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, but sometimes that's easier said than done. We have pretty much been at the same level on the flat from the beginning and I think we still are. She has always climbed faster, though, and I have worked hard to improve my climbing so I can maybe some day keep up with her, yet it seems her climbing has skyrocketed lately while me, not so much. Way better than a year ago, but every time I improve, she improves more.

She is shorter than me and, though we are both thin, she's a little thinner and weighs about 20 pounds less, which is a big reason why she climbs faster. We just did the Cool Breeze century. I was so mentally frustrated every time she so rapidly lost me on even an easy hill, that it's possible my frustration is going to help me lose weight. I'm 5'9 and have been hovering around 147-148. Just before Cool Breeze, I crept up to 150, yet lost 2 pounds doing the century and have been able to keep it off this week and lose one more. I declared after the century that I was going to lose 10 pounds in five weeks and told my friend she can take the credit for inspiring me if I succeed.

I did a club ride with her yesterday and she did it again. Killed the climb and got a super fast time, then dropped me on the way back as she barely hung on to a fast rider's wheel on a slight upgrade in headwind. Again, all very mentally depressing ... and yet motivating for weight loss. I have worked off and on this year at losing those ten pounds, but I think I'm depressed enough to maybe actually do it now. Or just stop riding!

My depression sunk in deeper tonight, however, when our bike shop owner dropped off my husband's bike, which miraculously appeared with a beautiful new Cannondale SuperSix frame. I wanted that frame. Can't afford that frame. Can't afford much of anything these days and was all excited about the $3 coupon I found for dog food earlier. Yet, somehow he gets this great new frame, a step up from his already greater than mine frame. He had the SystemSix, the predecessor to the SuperSix and I have a Caad9. I have a great frame, but being the weight weanie I am, with the difficulty I have climbing, I want the lightest bike I can get.

So, how is it he got this new frame? Well, he crashed on Cool Breeze and dented his frame. He immediately started talking about getting the SuperSix, which he knew our bike shop had a crazy great deal on and only had a couple left. I kept telling him to find out if his dent was cosmetic or not and then I thought, "We'd talk about it". Well, he totally thought I knew he was doing this and now it's done. He said the LBS said his dent was "questionable". Could cause problems down the road. So, I'm left to feel both mad and jealous, even though it was probably smart for him to replace his frame. Yet when "other" people are having financial hardship, they just don't "get" to have the best of the best, even if it's on sale. Yet, if I was the one with the bent frame, I'd probably be trying to do the same thing.

BLEH!!! Okay, so this is me venting and now I'm done.

[redrhodie]

((((jiffer)))).

I know you're feeling bad, but here's what I think you need to remember about the climbing....where did Mark Cavendish finish on Mont Ventoux? What, you don't remember? I don't remember, either. That's because he is sooooo far back on every climb that they never even show him.

So, maybe you're a sprinter.

[jobob]

get a coach so you can improve faster than your friend.

[redrhodie]

I still can't think of how I feel about your DH getting the new bike. You're obviously bothered by it, so it's an issue you need to deal with.

I would first ask myself if it's really worth adding strife to my relationship. Most likely, being mad and jealous wouldn't be worth it to me, and I'd let it go (then buy myself the bike I want!--who am I kidding! ).

Is there any way you can get the frame you want?

[Trek420]

((((Jiffer)))) Have her tested. The rapid unexplainable performance gain sounds suspicious.

But seriously do what jobob said. Get and keep on a training program. Cycling is a multi-year sport of off season recovery, early season base miles, working towards a goal, then repeat. Keep training and ride your rides.

There's nothing quite like the feeling of dusting a rider who's supposedly on a "better" bike.

[Cataboo]

Jiffer, just concentrate on your riding & training... I wouldn't compare yourself to your friends - especially from the point of view of weight loss. Did she suddenly lose 10 lbs before she considerably improved recently? I doubt it - so I wouldn't make weight loss your goal for riding better - on your bike or you. Train more, do intervals, and the weight loss will probably come on its own.

As for your husband's bike, I'd be pretty furious if this is going to put you guys furhter into financial hardship, but I couldn't quite tell if you guys are a couple that keeps your money separate, and that you're having some issues, and he's not or if you're jointly having issues.

[Aggie_Ama]

((Hugs)) It feels stupid to be jealous of such things but I am one who will be so you are not alone.

I think finding a training program may give you the push or maybe you just aren't a climber. I find a lot of my frustration mountain biking because I am not a good climber, then I realize I can descend but others walk because they are scared. Find your niche and you will feel better.

About your husband, we share finances so I would be livid if such a frame showed up. I really think you shouldn't bottle that frustration but I am guessing you have or will discuss it with your husband.

And I admit I was pretty dang happy when I was able to get a mountain bike slightly better than DH's because my roadie component group is not as good. Our frames are comparable but I wanted a triple and got 105 he has Dura Ace. My mountain bike has the same gruppo but is lighter and has carbon seat stays, therefore DH declared it "better". Trivial but I sure was happy.

[Owlie]

(((jiffer)))

I haven't experienced it with cycling, but something similar happened to me with fencing. One of my guy friends (who started three years after I did!) suddenly got a heck of a lot better. He beat me consistently, and by rather large margins. I was frustrated. It eventually started impacting my fencing as well. Don't let that happen to you. Like everyone said, concentrate on your riding.

As for the frame...BF and I separate expenses (well, ours are groceries at this point) but I'd still be annoyed if he showed up with a new frame.

[maillotpois]

There will always be someone faster than you. I'm sorry it's your friend, and this may sound harsh, but there are worse things.

[Jiffer]

Thanks everyone. As for the new frame, Dh left early this morning for a big ride and left me a voicemail. He felt really bad and apologized. He hadn't even thought of it the way I did. His view was that his frame was damaged, this was an insane deal on something comparable or better, so there really wasn't much to think about. Yet I pointed out that it was the best choice IF he got something at the same level of frame he had, but it wasn't his only choice. There are plenty of less quality frames and even similar quality used frames. He flat out hadn't even considered it. My question now is, is he willing to take the frame back and get a different one ... if they'll let him now that he rode on it today. And will I try to make him? This is especially difficult for him because he is in a whole other world of cycling. He climbs like nobodies business, has worked hard to get to the level he's at and, in his mind, this is simply the frame for him to help him keep up with his training and reach his big goals. He's not used to being tied to silly things like not really having the money to pay for it. He rationalized that it's paid for by money we forgot we were owed, yet that money could have paid for a whole lot of other things.

As for me improving on climbs, yeah I know I may never be the best climber. It doesn't come naturally like it does for some. I can descend like crazy and go hard on the flats, so I make up for it as best I can in those areas. But I do know that the lighter you are, the less weight you have to carry up a hill and it makes a huge difference. Dh just told me about a guy we did a big climb with a while back. He lost 20 lbs and he's a totally different climber now. I also know that I have a hard time losing weight AND training, so when I'm in serious weight loss mode, cycling has to be secondary. Just today I went on a club ride, but knew I didn't have it in me to do the big climb that was coming, so I shortened my climbing and came home alone at a super easy pace. And I'm okay with this because I know I lost 3 pounds this week and, in the long run, that will pay off in my cycling.

I do intend to do more interval training, hill repeats specifically... withOUT my friend! But I'll just have to see how I'm feeling on the days I have available to do that, which would be days I'm not riding with her. If not now, once I've lost the weight, I can really focus on the training again. It's good to have a break anyway, so that's the way I'm looking at it.

Thanks again for all your encouragement.

[Trek420]

There will always be someone faster than you.

And someone who descends better than you, and rides further and has better bike handling skills and .... has what they think is a better bike

The competition must be with yourself. Am I riding better today?

A very wise TE member, I believe it was Velogirl told me when it comes to cycling performance I could:
lose weight
gain muscle strength
or both

I'll admit I'm not training as I could now but when I am really in a mode I drop inches (I've gone down 6 pants sizes cycling and probably will do more soon) and not weight. I just keep getting a bigger engine. I'd love to drop 30 lbs and should and could and will. But I know my body and the inches will come off first in any regime.

Ride your ride, enjoy it and most important have fun.

[kenyonchris]

So sorry you had a crappy day!
I am 115 lbs and a good climber...but everyone assumes it is because I am light!! I am sure that this fact helps, but I did NOT start out that way. Pound for pound, I am not as strong as a bigger, stronger rider. And while I may billy goat my way up a hill, *everyone* descends faster than me, and THAT, when you have run out of gear and are just coasting, is frustrating.
Lose the weight if it makes you stronger and better, and think about riding with your friend as training! Don't let her drop you! My guy friends drop me on every hill I climb (and they all out weigh me by 50 lbs)....because they are stronger, better, faster riders. But I constantly chase them, so when I ride with a *normal* group of riders (as in not supermen) I easily lead the group up the hill.
I also keep my ipod on while I climb. I know, I know, I know...but being in your zone and spinning up the hill is important. My ipod helps me do that.

[Miranda]

another +1 on (((Jiffer)))...

Well, this story could be mine. Only I'm the lighter, faster climbing riding partner.

Plus, I also had this same thing happen on a club irde with an aquaint I was trying to become better friends with.

In both cases for me... there was definate undertone, vibe, whatever you want to call it of... "unspoken displeasure" re: the difference in our performance. *huge sigh*...which added some "taint" to the relationship.

I hate that. Because I personally consider myself to be humble as a person, and a cyclist--w/much to learn & improve on. And I would never want someone else to feel like I was trying to "show-boat-it" to cause hurt or hard feelings.

I love my riding buddy to death. She has helped me SO much in learning how to ride with others in groups. This club lady I would love to be better riding friends with too. So, there's gotta be some resolve.

Last ride with my buddy, I try to tell her why I do some of the things I do. Like my club ride, when she was not the person involved (other lady), and tell her why I did what I did. Basically--to survive!

I climbed quickly because otherwise I thought I would die w/my body weight ratio trying to go slower. I just can't sustain it for a longer pace. Up quick and get it the he$$ over with is my new climb stategy (not, drop my buddy for spite).

I pedal downhill not to show boat it... it's because heavy riders pass me and I will get miserably lost if I don't do 'something' to make up the diff.

I suck wheel for dear life of the big fastie guys bringing it home because when you are light, the wind is definately felt more. Been times w/my heavier ride buddy I literally thought I was getting blown over in a cross-wind... while her rock solid 1.5Xs time bigger calves than mine powered on like "big whoop". Hanging back alone w/o a draft... I die quick.

I don't know for sure about your ride pal. But, that's my insight = survival, fwiw.

On the weight... have you ever been that 10-15#s lighter as a cyclists? If not, once you get to that point, never let the memory of the difference leave you.

I personally have cycled with an upward flex of 10#s or so from what I am now. The best way I can say it is: the freakin hills HURT!!!

Ice cream is my weakness... I love Dairy Queen Blizzards, Reese Peanut Butter cup, to be exact. How cycling sick is it that on occasion I have to break out in a chant "hills hurt, no DQ, don't do it!" whilst driving past a DQ store?

On the aspect of "losing weight while maintaining and/or increasing cycling performance", I know what you mean. I posted about that recently myself.

OK, ultimately *yes* you are correct. The best time to lose weight as a cyclists is in the off season. However, there are some things you can still do to shave down and continue. I've shaved off a few I wanted to. Not all, but every bit helps on the climbs. I'll dig and add some links if you find any of interest.

Just don't give up & chin up, GF.
Miranda

EDIT ADD:

This book I bought recently after reading about it in a Bici mag article on hydration. Not very far in it, but great so far. Sports Nutrition For The Endurance Athlete...
http://www.moniqueryan.com/books/books.html

Here is my thread on losing weight + performance on TE. Good discussion and some links in thread...
http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=32242

Also, I met a RD who specialized in sports nutrition who said she could help me with some calculations etc.

[Jiffer]

Continued thanks for the encouragement. Miranda, my friend is the ultimate humble person as well. I don't know if I know a more humble individual. She'd never intentionally make me feel bad and would even withhold information about how fast her pace was or how excited she was about it if she knew it would be frustrating for me. We are really close friends, so this "temporary" frustration of mine won't come between us. Just makes me work that much harder.

For those who suggested I focus on training, I have worked hard on the training aspect all year and even did Heartbreak Hundred with 8500 feet of climbing for the sole purpose of improving (a massive undertaking for me). But there's no way I can do that kind of training and lose weight. I'd have no energy. No matter what I do, I can't figure out the correct quantity of food to eat for both weight loss and energy for training. Now that some of my big rides are out of the way for the year, I can focus more on the weight, so it's a good time. I have a couple of events coming up in the next couple of months, but I can take them or leave them. So I'll just see how I"m doing.

And for the comments about not comparing yourself to others, as I said in my first post, that's easier said than done, but I'm trying. I am amazed when I look at my bike journal from last year to this year, so I know I have improved by leaps and bounds. But of the group of people I typically ride with, let's face it, it just sucks to be the last one up the hill every SINGLE time. So ... ON WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS GOAL!!!

[Miranda]

... Miranda, my friend is the ultimate humble person as well...
...Heartbreak Hundred with 8500 feet of climbing for the sole purpose of improving (a massive undertaking for me)...
not comparing yourself to others... that's easier said than done... I am amazed when I look at my bike journal from last year to this year, so I know I have improved by leaps and bounds...
...ON WITH THE WEIGHT LOSS GOAL!!!

Hey Jiffer-- I'm glad your friend is a "true friend". I heard a joke once that "a good friend will help you move a piece of furniture at your house... a great friend will help you move a dead body...". Sounds like she's the later.

Gheez... I'd be hard pressed to find 8500' to climb where I'm at, man that's an awesome goal!

Yep... the improvement and your bike journal... it's "all about YOU". And, fwiw, on the # lose goals, it's tough--been there. When I delivered my 1st kid, who weighed 9#8oz, I was over 200#s. Now I average around 120#. Losing it is one thing. Maintaining is another. The best I can say is you just keep trying.