OY! Mothers!! (Yes this IS cycling related)...

[Running Mommy]

Ok, a bit of a background here...
My mom is 61 and pretty sedentary. She grew up on a dairy farm and was super active as a youngster. She's one of those "always on the go" types. But her and my dad retired to Brookings OR a few years ago, and she has become very sedentary. When they lived in nor cal she got into pilates and LOVED it. She tried to keep it up in OR, but just couldn't find a class she liked. I bought her a home reformer, and she has an eliptical, but they don't get much use. She keeps saying that she is going to get moving, but other than walking the dog she doesn't get much exercise.
Well my dad has developed a heart condition (mostly his lifestyle) and she has been told she has the bones of an 80 yr. old, so she knows that they really need to get moving..

A few weeks ago she mentioned that she wanted to start riding a bike. She said that they were going to go down to Fred Meyers and buy themselves bikes. Ok, for those of you not in that neck of the woods. Fred Meyers is a step or two above wal mart. Lets just say I wouldn't expect to see anything decent in the way of bikes in there. I told her NO! Wait until I get there in July and we will go buy you a REAL bike! My concern is that she has a lot of hills in her area, and if she bought a heavy clunky POC she would get discouraged and not ride it. I didn't expect her to buy a top of the line bike. But a nice comfort bike or hybrid that was light enough to get her up the hills without too much trouble.

So fast forward to our convo lastnight...

Mom: Dad and I went to Freddys and bought bikes yesterday... I got a schwinn and he got a mongoose.

ME: WHAT???!!!! I told you to wait! Why did you waste your money?? I can guarantee you that they are going to be too heavy and your not going to like them! ANd then your not going to ride!! Plus I can also see them falling apart! OY! MOOOOMMMM!!! Why didn't you WAIT??!! I told you to wait!

MOM: I knew you were going to freak out. But we just wanted a bike. We didn't want to spend a ton of money. I'm not going to ride on the 101 with all the log trucks. I just want to ride on the hills around the house here. And I don't even know if I'm going to like it...

ME: Well thats the thing, if you had a bike that actually FIT you and was light enough you probably would like it. That is the difference between going to a shop and paying 300.00 for a comfort bike that FITS and going to Fred Meyers and standing over the top tube and saying "looks good to me"... Sometimes that extra 100 bucks is worth it. There is no substitute for a good fit mom. A bad fit will mean anything from a sore neck to a sore back, wrists etc... And if you are not comfortable on the bike you won't be apt to ride it.

Mom: Well I'm not like you. I'm not going to ride for hours. I just wanted a bike.

Me: Mom, I'm not saying that you needed to buy a road bike, or some high end bike. I just wanted to see you get something COMFORTABLE so that maybe you would be inclined to USE it more. So I tell you what, if you start RIDING and like it I will buy you a nice bike. Something along the lines of a comfort bike. Riding really is fun, and I want you to enjoy it like I do. You don't have to be speed racer to enjoy riding!! There are ALL types of riders out there. But in the meantime I will bring you some saddles to try out, cause I KNOW the one on your bike is prolly awful. And I'll bring you some bike shorts. Oh, and I'll bring the tool kit and see if we can make it fit you... Do you have gloves??

Mom: Ok... I know, I know... I should have waited for you.... sigh...

And then we started talking about helmets.... I don't even want to GO there! But yes, she does have one...

So after this long winded post, what I need from you ladies is some encouraging words that I can give to my mom to get her butt in gear. What would be esp. useful are posts from the over 50 crowd, and also from the "formerly not so fit" crowd to give her a kick in the pants. But any encouraging posts would be most appreciated.
I need to get her going. I love my mom more than you can imagine, and I want her to be healthy and happy for many years to come.
Thanks in advance ladies. I know I can count on you to get "mama of running mommy" going!

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

I think it would be interesting to switch the "Mom:" and "Me:" labels around in this story, read it again, and see what it might be like from another point of view.

[Veronica]

You can tell her about my three English gentlemen who are cycling across the country. They are 64, 65 and 71 years young! The 65 year old only got into biking a couple of years ago.

V.

[cosc]

Many tour-group rides have a majority of older folks that participate and have a grand time. Mabe show some pics of the great fun their peers have while riding.

[tangentgirl]

It's really cool that your folks went out and got bikes. Ok, Fred Meyers, I know, not the kind of care you're going to get from your local bike shop - but there's probably a decent return policy, too. If you get up there and the fit is completely awful, they could take them back and get something that won't cause injuries later. Alternately, you could buy your parents professional fittings at a bike store in OR, in case you won't be there for a while.

As for motivation, you could call your mom, tell her you're really glad that she's doing something proactive - getting bikes - and that you just worry. Then launch into a conversation about all the fun of cycling. Make sure she feels good about this step. Compare notes on your bike routes. You could maybe send them some cool jerseys (or maybe just nice wicking tops, if they don't want to look too super-cycle-y). Try to bring (or borrow) a bike when you go up there and then ride with your folks. I'm sure they'll be tickled to go out with you.

[Zen]

You can't change someone if they don't really want to change.

Take your bike with you and ride with them. Depending on how that goes, take them to a bike shop and show them what a good fit, lighter ride and better shifting feel like.

[farrellcollie]

I know you might not want to hear this - but my 70 yr old father is happy as a clam on the target bike he bought a couple of years ago. He rides a few times a week for about an hour in regular clothes in a relatively hilly area - he only rides on paved trails - not the road. He has never changed the saddle and I have found we are both happier if I don't tell him how to do it. Actually - he would ignore me if I tried to get him to change - so I guess it just saves me the stress. I doubt if he has ever shifted the gears since he got it - it is just in some middle gear - I don't know what would happen if he tried to shift.

[Jones]

"Her Sports" magazine has an article about Sister Madonna Buder (sorry not sure of the last name), she didn't start to exercise until she was 48 and now she is the oldest competing female ironman.
Jones

[Running Mommy]

I am going to be up there this week, so it isn't like she would have had to wait long.
I guess it just frustrates me because she lives her life in regret. And I can't tell you how many times she has failed to consider my opinion and then regretted it. I've heard her say " I know, You were right" more times than I can count. Mostly it's in financial things. But I guess as a parent you never want to consider the fact that your kid may just have a valid point. I'm not saying that I'm always right, and I know as Lisa said- the table could be turned. I guess it could be said that as a kid I haven't always listened to her either. But I was just hoping for once that she would wait for me so that I could have helped her pick out a bike that is suitable.
I hope I'm wrong and that when I get up there the bike is fine. I also hope that she likes riding as much as I do. And god knows that after 38 years I know there is no way I can change her. Heck I've given up trying. The bike thing was her idea.

[tangentgirl]

RM, I hear ya, parents can be frustrating. Sometimes you have to step back and say, well, as long as they haven't joined a cult or gotten into a pyramid scheme...

I can totally picture my mom doing the same thing. And me having the same reaction, which makes reading this interesting. On the level of snafus, though, this one's probably pretty low-risk.

[tjf9]

I've had very similar conversations with my mom too. With my mom, I always get annoyed because she asks my opinion and then ignores it. If she didn't want my opinion, why did she bring it up?

Hopefully your mom will decide that she likes the bike and actually starts to use it. As a formerly unfit person, I don't think there's anything you can do to get her going other than be supportive and encouraging. She'll do it if she's ready. Good luck!

[SouthernBelle]

To be honest, if I was your mom, I'd never ride a bike again after that conversation. Or I'd tell you to put it where the sun don't shine.

I see 2 older gentlemen out riding very frequently in my area. They are riding old, upright, heavy bikes. They are having a good time.

Did she ask your opinion about the bikes? No. I expect she was hoping for an enthusiatic response about she and your dad buying the bikes and you shot her down. I also note he bought a bike too. So I assume he was present for this. But this is all about your mom.

JMHO.

[Torrilin]

Y'know, if she's excited enough to go out on her own and get a bike... that sounds like a *good* thing to me. Listen to what she wants out of the bike. Encourage her. Tell her you love her. Ask her if there's any place she'd like to be able to bike to.

Show her where the local bike shop is so she can get help with the bike on her own. She'll feel better and you'll feel better . If she doesn't know, remind her that bikes are pretty simple machines, and she can learn to fix many problems on her own. She's a grownup and she did ok with you. I think she can manage a bike. They mouth off less than teenagers do.

[BleeckerSt_Girl]

Well, what's done is done. Now go have fun riding slow with your parents!
Maybe they will not even HAVE any fit problems with their bikes- who knows? Fit problems tend to be more relevent if you ride a ton of miles anyway- and your parents will most likely be around-the-neighborhood/errand riders.
Now's the time to let it go and just encourage your mom.

[singletrackmind]

Yep, time to do a 360. Maybe they aren't ideal bikes but at least they're bikes. Try to be positive, compliment the color if that's all you can find, and encourage and compliment their biking. It's the whole flies with honey vs vinegar thing. They're newbies at this so don't be surprised if they only go a mile or two. If she has to increase bone density she should also be walking.