Dar--I second the emotion of what everyone else has written. And I know how hard it is. Last year I signed up to do a run at the end of April, a fundraiser for the Policemens' Memorial Fdn. BF at the time was a cop. I had dewy notions of us running together, or him greeting me at the finish line with flowers and kisses, or something....but not of us breaking up 2 weeks before the race! So I did the race with some friends, and had a splitting headache for two days after. I went on to have my most athletic summer ever. Sometimes I'd wake up sad, go for a run or bike hard, and the sadness was gone.

It seems to me that you might have started biking as a connection with the ex, but you've continued biking as a connection with your own spirit. Even if sometimes it feels like a way to stay connected to him, it's you doing the joyful work.

Hang in there. I've started dating someone I like, but am well aware it may all turn out differently than my fantasy. At the moment, it's fun, and a big relief to not be going on a string of frustrating first dates over and over! Hope things flow with the paramedic. You deserve a guy that's delighted with all of you, including your committment to training.

Nancy--the French! Sacre bleu! Or something like that What a creep-a-zoid. Current BF sounds like someone who actually deserves to be in the presence of your wonderfulness.

And finally, on the red spandex, I am stunned to think that guys would want to look like that. Can't imagine that they "don't know". yuch.

L.