I always thought Miss (insert first name here) was a southern thing.
I use it with people I know.
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I always thought Miss (insert first name here) was a southern thing.
I use it with people I know.
Whatever.
Drives me nuts when it is used during a conversation, or disagreement, especially during a "heated conversation". It conveys such a lack of concern or caring.
I remember when my younger daughter (now 27) went through her teenage "whatEVER" stage for a about a year or so. Used to drive me insane but I figured she could be saying worse. She eventually grew out of it and is now a delightful young woman. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by milkbone
Oooh, the last name thing got me.
I hate, absolutely HATE when someone addresses a woman as Mrs. John Hislastname.
Hate it to the point where I will ask the woman in question when she changed her name to John.
I do not understand why, if a woman so chooses to take her husband's name, she then is referred to by his first name. Isn't his last name enough? She can't even keep that bit of her own identity??
:D
This has cropped up at work, because we historically refer to training days as orientation days. So people will speak of being orientated to something.
Something even worse is a pseudo-technical term, "kicked in". Arrg! What does that mean? Usually referred to something starting. Picked up is a technical term that is OK.
Or, "hike" for any kind of rate or price increase.
Or, the trend of computer speak to use hard-hitting action verbs to refer to something that is really only happening at the software level- fragged, crashed, etc.
Nucular for nuclear makes sense to me, it seems a regional thing -much easier to say. Greezy for greasy drives me round the bend.
I could go on, but I better stop.
I had a few older, male clients who called me Miss Susan. I thought it was rather endearing, actually :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggie_Ama
That's exactly what it's supposed to convey. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by milkbone
I remember bugging my teenaged daughters a few years back that I was going to shorten whatever to 'tev and start a new thing. I kept using it and trying to get them to pick it up. They still laugh about it today and we still say 'tev as a joke.
The floor I work on has two groups and managers of those groups are on either end, they are also married, I'll call them Brian and Karla Smith. I once heard a high level person in the company introduce a group of people to several of my coworkers, as "This is Dr Jones, and this is Dr Smith, and this is Mrs Smith". Karla is also a PhD.Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmyt
I was furious. Karla did nothing, but I don't know what she could have done.
I was standing there, and I wasn't introduced at all, but that didn't make me nearly as angry as Karla not getting the same respect as the two guys there at the time.
My dissertation advisor & her husband both graduated from Wisconsin. She said the alumni mail sent to her husband is addressed as Dr. while hers is Mrs. She laughed about it, but she was a bit chuffed about it, too.Quote:
Originally Posted by TsPoet
Karla's hubby or the other person should have taken the opportunity to refer to her as Dr. So-and-so.
It probably is souther just like honey, darlin, dear, sweetie are accepted from complete strangers. I think why it bugs me is several of my last supervisors did it and it feels more condescending. Yes they are my bosses but it makes me feel very inferior because they say it like I am a little kid.Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen
I don't hate being called Miss Amanda as much as I hate when people call me Manda, Manders or Mandy. The only thing short for Amanda I ever go by is Ama. :rolleyes:
I don't mind getting mail addressed to Mrs. C. XXXX but if you called me it I would reply, "My first name is Amanda".Quote:
Originally Posted by Kimmyt
That's a cool idea--using your maiden name as a middle name. Don't some Hispanic cultures actually use the maiden name as a second middle name? That also makes a lot of sense. Your point about having the same last name being a way to express being a team was well said--that's how I feel about it as well. so when I eventually get married I will have no issue with taking his last name but may keep my maiden name as a middle name to keep that part of my identity at the same time. That would also (hopefully) cause less confusion professionally.Quote:
Originally Posted by Aggie_Ama
Jolt, that practice is very common right here in New England. I dropped my middle name when I got married and have always used my maiden name as my middle name. I don't use a hyphen, since it would be a mouthful, but I always sign my name with both last names. It's my legal name.
Both of my sons have my maiden name as their middle name. They hated it when they were little, in AZ, but as soon as we moved here and more than half of their friends had hyphenated last names, they never said another word!
My husband felt strongly about me changing my name when we got married. It's one of the few things we ever disagreed on, and I gave in. Of course, now, he could care less and I did contemplate dropping his name, but I didn't want the bother of doing it legally.
I also hate the "hon," sweetie, etc. I know it's southern, but I find it degrading.
My mom did that same thing when she got married. The main reason was her mother was declared legally blind and thus unable to drive. My mother would often run errands and write checks off her mom's account so it was easier to have the last name as her middle name. Oddly they both have the same first name so it looked like the same person.
Another reason I did it is my Pawpaw died 3 weeks prior to my wedding. My maiden was his last name and I desperately wanted to hold onto a little piece of him. I still want that and I have it on my drivers license. I sign my name Amanda _. ________. It (maiden name) is a horrible German mess of a name to spell so I don't write it out or hyphenate. Plus the hyphenated names confused me when I was younger and put a dislike of them in my brain forever. :p
I did it too. My Middle name starts with the same letter as my maiden name, so that made it really easy. It's an easy way to show my heritage.
Maiden name.
"Maiden"?
When I encounter a form that asks for a maiden name I scratch out 'maiden' and replace it with 'birth'
score! sheesh. never thought of that. I guess i'm clueless :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen
Well Zen, I was a fair flaxen haired maiden, once upon a time, in a land far far away! :p
So when I said "I don't" and signed the paperwork, I took my maiden name back, which for some reason ticked my X off.
But somewhere along the way my stepdad felt slighted. Had a birth name, natural father was killed in the line of duty when I was 3 days old, Mom remarried when I was 2, and I started using his name. Back then it was not common for kids to have different names than their parents. Turned 18 and had to use my "legal" name - Dad never adopted me. Anyway in a 10 year period, I had 3 different last names.
On another note - it is often common among southern ladies to drop their middle name and used their maiden/birth name as their middle name.
Beth- I find it curious that you refer to you dad as your natural father. Only because my dad was adopted and refers to his mother and father as "natural", not "biological". My father's natural mother died when he was three, his natural father when he was 10. My grandparents adopted him at eight. I wonder if there is a generational difference, although I am sure you are younger than my dad (born 1953)? His biological parents had 3 sons, he calls them his natural brothers. He does call the one he has become friends with just his brother sometimes.
My friend's ex was also mad when she had her maiden name restored after the divorce. He is still controlling after the divorce and it just really angers him. I am like, jeez she didn't want you why would she want your name??
natural vs biological
when the parent is not a contributing member; ie deadbeat dads and even sperm donor dads (another pejorative)
we call them biological.
but if you lose your dad through death and have a stepdad, you might call your real dad "natural"
"natural" is the term that's used in legal proceedings. So if someone's been through a lot of court or administrative proceedings, that's the term she'll have heard all along, and probably the one she'll use herself.
The other one that really gets me?Quote:
Originally Posted by Zen
"Ladies". It's not quite as bad as "Laydeezzzzz" but it's getting there. I know some people (mostly men, sometimes women) are just trying to be polite, but I find it degrading. I usually give them a deadpan stare and reply "I'm not a lady." :rolleyes:
The best part is that now I've got several coworkers trained. They'll come over to my workspace (which is, curiously, where all of the females in our mostly male department are all clustered together) and say "Hey, Ladies? (And Diane?)" :D
wow, long thread. haven't read the whole thing, so i'm not sure if this has been mentioned before, but i hate the whole "if you will..." thing. especially when used relentlessly in the cube farm. :rolleyes:
"i went to the store to get broccolli, if you will..."
if i will what???!! it means nothing. arrggh!!! :rolleyes::mad::D
How about starting with... "can I ask you a question?" then ask the actual question. What if I say NO to question #1?
If you need my attention, and have a question, how about starting with Excuse Me, where/what/how .....?
I have been known to answer Can I ask you a question?, with No. Then ask why do you use that leading phrase? Just ask the question! (and the voice in my head is phasing it a bit differently and less polite. Bad voice bad bad voice).
I suppose I grew up hearing my biological father referred to as my "natural" father. As Mom remarried when I was a toddler, my "real" Dad to me is legally my Step-Dad - as he's the one who was tangible.
The "biological" reference is a more recent bit of nomenclature, and I agree, it's usually in the context as a sperm-bank doner or a dead-beat dad. Genetics is the only relationship.
To me, my "father" was the man who died in 1959. My "Dad" is the one who taught me to ride a bike.
Can I ask you a question....?
Sure. You "can." But you MAY not! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
I have a co-worker who, if you ask him that, always replies:Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
"You already did."
I love it. :p
I try to remember never to approach him with that question...!
When I was teaching reading in tutorials, we would end each session with paired read-aloud (taking turns reading) from a book of the student's choice. This ninth grade girl chose Cujo. When she'd come to a 'bad word,' she would simply skip it, so I did the same.Quote:
Originally Posted by Andrea
When the c-word came up and I skipped it, she called me on it... "You skipped that word!" - and she was concerned that I'd skipped it because she'd never heard of it before. I told her what it meant and that she probably hadn't heard of it because it was considered even more 'inappropriate' and rude than other 'bad words.'
I did suggest that she not announce at the dinner table that she'd learned a new word...
My junior high kiddos would play the "but I was just kidding" when they'd tease and try to get reactions from people. They'd use the "it's what it means to me" argument.Quote:
Originally Posted by teigyr
I would ask them how they felt when somebody called them ignorant. At least in that part of the planet, "Ignorant" was used for stupid, ugly and otherwise unpopular. Then I'd show 'em the dictionary definition and ask if they thought it was okay for me to call them ignorant, since "all it means" is you don't know about something.
They actually kinda sorta "got it" - that words from the giver can hurt even if it's not intended (and some of 'em that if you offered Miss Geonz your 'reasons,' she would bore you to *death* with her explanations, so don't bother...)
I *am* bothered at the sensory and intellectual when words are mispronounced ('expresso') in ways that mangle their meaning. If I wanted to start a flame war on educational discussions, I'd say "It's that whole language attitude" and get on my phonemic awareness soap box :D
Please don't start that battle...
I also had several kids who would stop when we were doing any kind of read aloud and they came to a "bad word." Since the YA lit I chose rarely had anything worse than h*ll or da*n, I had to tell them it was really OK with me to say those words. And these were kids who would think nothing of saying the f word or others when not around an adult. I mean, I was happy that they sort of knew about the "context" of swearing, but it seemed to really make them fearful to say those words in front of me.
Outside the South, I don't want to hear the "word" y'all. Especially if you're addressing a single person. Just bugs me.
"Clicks" when refering to kilometers. I think that was due to overuse on a trip to Canada I took a few years back.
I know there are more, they escape me at the moment...
"Quick question" really bugs me.Quote:
Originally Posted by bmccasland
It's obviously a question and usually not quick.
I hate that word too, but not as much as I hate using four syllables every time I'm trying to say how far away something is (outside the USA). I've started just saying "K," but I'm pretty sure that's non-standard and no one but DH would understand it automatically without having to think about it.Quote:
Originally Posted by NoNo
Y'all should never be addressed to a single person. It's plural.
Exactly... :DQuote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelle
And here’s my soapbox rant about mispronunciations. Is it obvious ignorance on the person’s part (nuclear vs nuculer) or just subtle mispronunciation (espresso vs expresso). You ever think about speech problems?
My MS may not be apparent to you, but my intermittent swollen cotton tongue is VERY noticeable to me. So, rant on . . . .
I’m painfully aware of my phonic challenges.
Along that same line, I grit my teeth whenever someone uses "anyway" to resume speaking in conversation. It's dismissing whatever the previous speaker said so you can get on with what you want to say. Very rude.Quote:
Originally Posted by milkbone
It should be mentioned that in some countries "expresso" is a fully accepted pronounciation.
In France for example one who orders a small coffee ("un petit café") is very likely to hear the server call out loud "un express!" to the bar tender. "Espresso" is really the Italian spelling of the word, some countries where this preparation mode is equally popular have "translated" the word.
So it always makes me smirk a little when someone corrects another person who said "expresso..." :o
I thought "y'all" was singular and "all y'all" was plural?Quote:
Originally Posted by emily_in_nc
Nope. Y'all is a conjunction of "you" and "all". No way it can be singular. It's like "You guys" is up north.Quote:
Originally Posted by kelownagirl
"Y'all all" is just plain wrong. :D
Emily, born and bred in the south...