Should Men be allowed in a Women's Forum?

I'm so confused...where has this thread gone too? Pap smears and yogurt should never be mentioned in the same thread...eww.

I think we talked it out, reached consensus and now we're having the post meeting chitchat.

Yeah, we're having coffee and pie afterwards.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by colby

.

At several points in time, men on these mailing lists began to dominate

, but we should keep the charter of this forum in mind: womens cycling and related issues. If this forum becomes male-dominated, we will have to deal with it, but in the meantime, one or two polite and helpful men aren't going to kill us.

</soapbox>

---

Yeah, but look how much space time and energy this "one" is taking up already.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mimitabby

I think we talked it out, reached consensus and now we're having the post meeting chitchat.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Lisa S.H.

Yeah, we're having coffee and pie afterwards.

---

hee hee, you two are a hoot :D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by colby

One issue faced here was transgendered/transexual people, and it was decided that gender identity (how a person identifies themselves) took precendence over biological identity (a person's physical sex). To me that's the only reasonable course of action, but it was debated -- some people see someone who is physically male but identified female as male, and no argument will change their mind.

---

As long as we've settled the other issue, I will offer some levity.

A number of years ago, I worked at the Seattle Processing and Distribution Plant. For the locals to me, that's the end of the Interurban Trail on the north end, by Boeing.

One year we had a casual employee named Lei. Lei was a transgendered person, and she was physically a male, but preferred to be known as, and acted, female.

My supervisor at the time, a testosterone filled guy who wore pointy toed cowboy boots with little silver tips, could not handle this. Whilst everyone else in our pay location considered Lei 'her', my supervisor would not and apparently could not accept the idea of a transgendered person.

Me: Mark, did you want Lei to go to 040?
Supervisor Mark: No, send him to the barcode sorter.
Me: Will we be able to get her back at 1:00?
SM: Lei is not a girl. Lei is a guy.
Me: Well, Lei would rather be referred to as 'her'.
SM: I don't care. He's a guy.

Nowadays this would be considered gross discrimination, and my supervisor could have gotten sued for this, but it was the first time we had had the situation come up. We all just thought it was funny that the supervisor could not handle someone not wanting to be a man. After all, aren't men superior?

I was always so envious of Lei's hair. She had the most amazing long, thick hair. I coveted that hair. Sigh...

East Hill

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by margo49

Yeah, but look how much space time and energy this "one" is taking up already.

---

My thoughts as well. Now we have another thread about how thankful he is...perhaps it's just attention seeking behavior?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Queen

My thoughts as well. Now we have another thread about how thankful he is...perhaps it's just attention seeking behavior?

---

Well we are an attentive, supportive bunch that's why we're here, or maybe it's the food.

Well I should shut up, log off and train or walk the dog :rolleyes: but ooh, pie :D Cold apple pie for breakfast, yum...hey...this pie has no filling :confused: big hole carved outa the bottom just top crust and WTF :confused:

::: puts ice cream on top :::: there! :D

I think well -mannered fellows like Mr. Silver & Pscyclepath should be allowed.
I'm sure that we can all act witchy enough to run off any ill mannered oafs.
Pscyclepath is my brother that has posted a few times. He said the forum
is a refreshing change of pace from all the pissing contests at the male dominated forums.- Heck - here it is 'all about the bike!:o .

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Veronica

His last name is too sissy. Plus it makes me think of poo. :p

Oh and I forgot... you all must eat cookies!

V.

---

SUrely someone here has some extra cookies- WAIT the emergency cookies are under the printer!!

Yeah :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bikingmomof3

Just checked my identical twins hands...index and ring finger are the same length on both hands. DH points out his are not. ;) My index finger is longer on both hands. :eek: What the heck does that mean? :rolleyes:

---

I just checked with my fraternal twin and both of our right hands are similar proportionally. That is, his hands are larger than mine, but on both our right hands, the ring finger is significantly longer than the index: on his a half-inch and on mine not quite a centimeter. Neither of us has anything you could call athletic ability--aside from my cycling that is--but he has great manual dexterity and plays a variety of stringed instruments well: guitar, cello, violin, banjo (such a Renaissance man!)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Trek420

Well we are an attentive, supportive bunch that's why we're here, or maybe it's the food.

Well I should shut up, log off and train or walk the dog :rolleyes: but ooh, pie :D Cold apple pie for breakfast, yum...hey...this pie has no filling :confused: big hole carved outa the bottom just top crust and WTF :confused:

::: puts ice cream on top :::: there! :D

---

Oh, silly girl, the ice cream goes INSIDE, to replace the missing filling. We just had to wait for the pie to cool down. The WHIPPED CREAM goes on top.
:D

I've tried to avoid this thread and keep my mouth shut but just got sucked in anyway. I feel that discrimination is wrong.

I need to ask: if you want to keep this a forum for women only, what criteria would you use to validate "Woman"?

Behavior: passive, non-aggressive, subservient, nurturing...does anyone actually believe any of these "traditional" descriptors to actually be valid and apply to ALL women and ONLY women?

Physical metrics: Estrogen level, breasts, female genitals, female internal organs. Let's throw out the postmenopausal women because their estrogen is too low, those who've had mastectomies, those who've had hysterectomies.

Are we going to need to pass a physical for entry?

This is a women's forum by virtue of the fact that it concerns itself with women's biking issues and is populated by (mostly) women.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluetree

Ahem. Jaan Kirsipuu.

---

Igor Gonzalez de Galdeano :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pedal Wench

I also participate on the women's board on bikeforums.net. They debate quarterly (it seems) on whether or not to allow men in. It's a private forum - women are invited in, once it's been established on the public forums that they are, indeed a woman, although it would probably be easy for someone to fake entry. Our forum here is often mentioned, in that this one is open to anyone who wants to drop in. Trying to police it would require more work than Susan O., or Jeff, would probably want to take on. I have a feeling that most men gradually lose interest in our issues. This IS a public forum, and we have to deal with that fact.

---

there is a HUGE difference, though..... THIS forum is WAY better moderatoed than the forums at BF are.... since this is a women's forum.... for the most part the boys stay away.... whereas at BF you have all the boys who are already there spouting off their garbage... posting pics of 1/2 naked women.... beind sexiest and dirty..... it would be a nightmare to control... they can't control the co-ed forums from the smut and trash!

yes this forum is public.... but it's also well moderated and advertised as a women's forum.... so most men can't be bothered to show up... if they cause trouble they are booted....

heck.... look at the trouble in the closed BF forum when we had a male moderator for a short time! YIKES!!!!! it's just a different "crowd" there than here....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by mimitabby

What we are spared of here is: "I rode such and such in 2 hours" to get a response of; "well, I did it in 55 minutes, with only 1 pedal!"
the constant testosterone challenge. Here, you might not be the best rider
but the better (?) riders aren't going to grind you into the dirt for sharing your achievements.

---

oh AMEN! i hate all the chest pounding that goes on in the co-ed forums!!!!! give me a break.....

i'm a day late and dollar short, as usual.....

but that's ok.... i'm not eating cookies and pie right now.... i'm being good!

Chiming in late (as usual :rolleyes: ) with two random thoughts:

The women's only locker room analogy simply doesn't work, since our "locker room" happens to have glass windows. :)

Team Estrogen focuses on selling women's cycling equipment and apparel. My brother has big thighs and happens to prefer the way that the women's PI Microsensor shorts fit around the legholes. Should Men be barred from buying women's cycling clothes? :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by caligurl

oh AMEN! i hate all the chest pounding that goes on in the co-ed forums!!!!! give me a break.....

---

Cali if you recall - alot of that chest pounding you speak of - comes from women!!!

I don't think the art of boasting is limited to women. I'm fairly active on another forum and I have to say even though coed - it's monopolized by 3 maybe 4 women. The guys are secondary. On another forum, where folks are more civilized everyone has a voice. OK some threads - like "should I convert my 1962 whatever to a singlespeed, and what tools do I need to do that" may get more guy input than gal but that's more becasue the guys are just more interested. We women also have our topics and occasionally some poor guy pipes up.

Dianyla said it - anyone can read these post, the posts are not off limit to the general public. We have no secret code cause we are women to get in. If you are sensitive about some of the discussions you probably should not participate cause none of us knows who lurks about.

I'm a guy and I've been here for several months now. When I visit TE I usually limit myself to visiting and posting mainly in the maintenance and California subforums where my interest lies. I visit other cycling forums as well.....this one just happens to be specifically geared towards women.

well there you go - who knows, maybe half of the TE crew has a Y chromosone - we just don't know.

Thanks Road for being honest.

And what have the nice men here hurt? C'mon, y'all--get over it.

Like a true Gemini, my opinions on this are conflicted and certainly not consistent. I am a regular BF participant also, perhaps more often there than here. That's because I love to argue the minutiae of traffic/safety issues. I admit I'm a bit strange/nerdy, so I would never think that would be a popular activity here. That said, there is something so welcoming and accepting about TE, that I keep coming back. Perhaps it's because while I enjoy having both women and men friends, I do love that mostly-girl-only time.

The other reason relates to what caligurl touched upon. Not to sound too much like a college textbook, but some of the "institutional sexism/misogyny" on that other list is way over the top for me - and I suspect that I have a somewhat higher tolerance for it than caligurl. (not meant to be offensive in any way, cg, we all have our limits) I think it prevents many women from participating, and the ones that do are often so thick-skinned, they are rather intolerant of women who are not. I don't think that's right, there many women who aren't particularly outspoken/assertive, and those of us who are can get downright exhausted holding our own constantly. So, I fully support the women-only rule of the women's forum there. It seems like any discussion of a women's health or clothing issue there turns into a thread to post pornographic images of women. There's also the more subtle issue of opinions posted by females from a female-specific perspective being totally dumped on. It even happens with the advocacy & safety topics - crazy! What century are we living in again? :mad: I think there are guys on BF who would be great additions to a mostly women discussion, but how to distinguish? You can't on a forum that large, so I think the best policy is to ban all men. Sad, but practical.

So, back to TE. Strangely enough, I am not in favor of limiting participation to women. The badly-behaving men either get bored fast, we women make quick work of them and they leave, or Susan (I presume) makes them leave. Of the men who stay, I have never read a post from them that I found offensive, even if I do not agree with what they are saying. I think Lisa's cat analogy is spot-on in this case: the guys are cautious and tread lightly. I can live with that. My cat certainly approves. :)

Interesting turn of events just happened. I just bought a dual bottle holder for the seat of my tri bike. My predicament was that I also wanted a seat bag for spare tube, tools, cell phone, etc. Today, I Googled “triathlon seat bag.” Low and behold I found a link to your forums.

I apologize that I don’t remember who said this, but someone said they wouldn’t kick George Hincapie out for asking questions about a hypothetical women’s clothing line. A salesperson should understand how the product will help a customer. Also, they should understand the short comings and how to overcome them. Your “tips-n-tricks” section caught my eye. If I sold bikes and accessories, I’d probably want to do my research on your website to “satisfy each and every customer.” (No sexual intention, it was the Sears motto.) My LBSs don’t have many female associates (if any). I might be wrong, but I’m guessing some women feel intimidated walking into situations like this. If there are men and women looking for tools to better serve their customers, then why not allow it?

I currently work as an engineer. I’ve found that diversity (age, sex, race, job duties, backgrounds…etc) create a stronger design. Having these different points of view help uncover the best answer. I mention this, because I assume you sometimes post questions on various topics that somehow relate to the men in your life; fathers, sons, boyfriends, husbands, training partners, coworkers, that idiot driver that says “nice @$$.” Not everyone has the confidence or opportunity to flat out ask sensitive/personal questions in person. That is one advantage of the WWW. Anonymity. If it makes you uncomfortable for a stranger to read what you wrote, don’t write it. Even with your sign in name you have anonymity. As Thumper’s mother told him, “if you can’t say nothing nice, don’t say nothing at all.” I think it’s foolish to not get all the information you can on a subject. No one says you have to agree with what you find. You are an individual who is free to make his/her own decisions.

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by siume99

.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points.
?

---

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by siume99

I

Yeah, well if you haven’t already figured it out, I’m a guy. I do have a mom, girlfriend, female training partners, and coworkers that I care about and sometimes have questions pertaining them. I’m confident enough in myself to say that my tri bike has a “female intended saddle” from Serfas. It works for my pelvis structure. I also have long legs and a short torso. Sound familiar? There is no such thing as a “typical guy/gal.” “Averaging” is the summing of all the values and dividing by the sample number. It’s a way of simplifying the situation. It sometimes hides the good/bad outliers. Don’t let the actions of a few, dictate what happens to all. Have special “cures” for those situations. Everyone is physically and psychologically unique. I hope I didn’t offend anyone. It wasn’t intentional.

I feel that the quality of your website would go down if you “outlawed” men. I only say this because you would loose additional view points. I understand you have the option, not necessarily the right, to ban men. This is the WWW you know. How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.” Again, you still have your anonymity.

That’s my 2 cent donation….

Oh BTW, any suggestions for a seat bag if I have a Minoura twin bottle cage under my saddle?

---

Dear Siume
Welcome to TE. I am glad you are inobtrusively reading and enjoying TE.
You have brought up some very valid points, nothing is private on this forum
and people need to be reminded of that fact every now and then.
m

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by margo49

Do you mean to imply that you have raised the quality of TE??

To anyone else worried about losing additional viewpoints:
I am prepared to give more than one point of view on any subject you name. Or at least post several times on the same topic - each time raising a different *aspect* . (So it would be several one-paragraph posts instead of a longer one with paragraph indentations)

---

I wasn’t implying that I/men raise the quality of TE. I think help sustain would be a better implication. From the basic standpoint, men currently are allowed to post.

When asking a question, why would someone ask if they already knew the answer? Is it for confirmation or was it because they brainstormed before and didn’t come up with the answer that seemed to work? No one is correct all of the time. Sometimes one (or multiple) person(s) has the answer in the group. Other times it’s just a seedling that the answer grows out of.

A “forum” is successful because it’s a community of people. If I knew, without a doubt, that a particular person had the answer to my problem, why would I voice my question to everyone else? Why not personally email or call that one individual? When you limit your audience, you limit the number of opportunities.

If someone posts a question and doesn’t find a response that works for their situation, then the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for congratulations on an accomplishment and didn’t get any, the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for an understanding shoulder and none offered, the forum failed. But, if one person offered the celebration or shoulder, then that one person met the expectations of the original poster. The forum was successful.

I found TE because of my triathlon seat bag w/ water bottle ordeal. Obviously, my LBSs haven’t offered suggestions that fit the bill. On this one particular issue, they have failed. When I do find what works for me, I’ll stop by and share my experience. I want to maximize the chances of finding a solution, and help others at the same time.

Thanks for the welcomes Mimitabby and Salsabike.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by salsabike

Siume and Roadfix, you are welcome as far as I'm concerned.

---

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch! :p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bluetree

Roadfix and Siume, I welcome you as well. Although... if you plan on planning on more than a drive-by visit, please go to the "Getting to Know You" thread and post yer stats... we are a nosey (if overprotective) bunch! :p

---

Yeah... what she said... ;)

My SO did the same thing... He *Googled* Gunnar, and got the thread discussing the possibility of my new bike - which has btw been ordered!!:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by siume99

How would “real” women get into the forum to search for input? If it’s by invite, not everyone knows “somebody.”

---

This is true. I still haven't figured out how to get in the women's forum on the bike forums website. It's hidden and apparently you have to email someone but I don't know who. This forum is much easier to get on to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MDHillSlug

I've tried to avoid this thread and keep my mouth shut but just got sucked in anyway. I feel that discrimination is wrong.

I need to ask: if you want to keep this a forum for women only, what criteria would you use to validate "Woman"?

Behavior: passive, non-aggressive, subservient, nurturing...does anyone actually believe any of these "traditional" descriptors to actually be valid and apply to ALL women and ONLY women?

Physical metrics: Estrogen level, breasts, female genitals, female internal organs. Let's throw out the postmenopausal women because their estrogen is too low, those who've had mastectomies, those who've had hysterectomies.

Are we going to need to pass a physical for entry?

This is a women's forum by virtue of the fact that it concerns itself with women's biking issues and is populated by (mostly) women.

---

I've just been reading this one from afar, but I must say...Touche!

I shared this issue with DS#2 (aged 14) a few days ago. (Not in great detail - 14 year old boys are not ones for great detail and finer points as a rule and he is no exception).
He brought it up again yesterday evening: "What's up with that guy still on your forum? There are such things as unwritten rules on all the forums. You just have to use your intuition"

[smiling proud-mother-smile and thinking proud-mother-thoughts, margo49 wonders if there is a "smiley" for this ]

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by caligurl

there is a HUGE difference, though..... THIS forum is WAY better moderatoed than the forums at BF are.... since this is a women's forum.... for the most part the boys stay away.... whereas at BF you have all the boys who are already there spouting off their garbage... posting pics of 1/2 naked women.... beind sexiest and dirty..... it would be a nightmare to control... they can't control the co-ed forums from the smut and trash!

yes this forum is public.... but it's also well moderated and advertised as a women's forum.... so most men can't be bothered to show up... if they cause trouble they are booted....

heck.... look at the trouble in the closed BF forum when we had a male moderator for a short time! YIKES!!!!! it's just a different "crowd" there than here....

---

I hadn't visited this thread in a while, and it's taken an interesting turn. I don't belong to the 'closed' forum at BF, and probably never will. I can't believe that someone would put a guy in charge of a woman only closed forum, but it does seem to go with my having noticed that there are some not so good moderators over there. How many female moderators are there? One? Two? Koffee got chased out, partially because she wouldn't allow them to post their filth.

You are absolutely correct, this forum is well moderated, and no, the co-ed forums over there are not moderated for smut and trash. I sometimes wonder what is going on over there. I know I have logged on in the wee hours of the morning, reported spammers, and three hours later, the spammers are still there but a moderator's been on all night, posting gaily away.

Moderators have responsibilities. The moderators here do their jobs very well. And, our mods here are inobtrusive. I don't ever remember seeing a mod appear. But when I've reported spam on a few occasions, it's disappeared shortly thereafter. If it were only so in other places. I don't know about the rest of you, but I like well moderated forums.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by donnambr

It seems like any discussion of a women's health or clothing issue there turns into a thread to post pornographic images of women.

---

I don't want to see women sitting naked on bicycle saddles. I don't need comments about, well 'that's what I'd rather be following' showing a woman's rear end. We're here (and there) to learn about our passion for bicycles. If you have a passion for pornography involving bicycles and women, please set up your own private smut board. There are such things as 'members only' fora. But don't post it in public, on a site which is considered 'child friendly'.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by donnambr

There's also the more subtle issue of opinions posted by females from a female-specific perspective being totally dumped on.

---

It's sad, but true. Does anyone else remember the infamous thread about long distance randonneuring in Canada, and how it turned into a 'you should carry a gun' never mind that the OP stated quite specifically that she was in CANADA?

It doesn't even need to be a discussion of women's clothing in order to be turned into something with inappropriate images--there's a relatively recent thread about the wearing of championship jerseys in the general cycling forum. One of the last comments was

"I agree. Some people shouldn't wear championship jerseys."

and showed a photo of a woman wearing bibs. Not wearing anything on top, and holding her arms so that you thought her elbows were her breasts. I couldn't view the thread after that.

Perhaps the owner of the other site doesn't care about alienating 25% or more of his membership. All I know is that I get a lot more respect here than I do there, I don't have to put up with smarmy smut, and we have far better moderators.

East Hill

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by East Hill

I hadn't visited this thread in a while, and it's taken an interesting turn. I don't belong to the 'closed' forum at BF, and probably never will. I can't believe that someone would put a guy in charge of a woman only closed forum, but it does seem to go with my having noticed that there are some not so good moderators over there. How many female moderators are there? One? Two? Koffee got chased out, partially because she wouldn't allow them to post their filth.

---

WAS lol! it's now moderated by two lovely ladies.... (yes... the only two female moderators that i'm aware of) although, of course i'm sure joe (owner of the forum) has acces if he wants it.... i just found out it's his girlfriend who actually gives the women the "secret handshake" and not joe himself! so it appears even he distances himself!

there is really nothing going on in there and no reason not to at least get access! it's probably the slowest forum on that site! but i check it out just to see if there are any questions cuz there ARE ladies in there who have stated they won't venture into the other areas (they really need to come over here!!!!)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by East Hill

You are absolutely correct, this forum is well moderated, and no, the co-ed forums over there are not moderated for smut and trash. I sometimes wonder what is going on over there. I know I have logged on in the wee hours of the morning, reported spammers, and three hours later, the spammers are still there but a moderator's been on all night, posting gaily away.

Moderators have responsibilities. The moderators here do their jobs very well. And, our mods here are inobtrusive. I don't ever remember seeing a mod appear. But when I've reported spam on a few occasions, it's disappeared shortly thereafter. If it were only so in other places. I don't know about the rest of you, but I like well moderated forums.



I don't want to see women sitting naked on bicycle saddles. I don't need comments about, well 'that's what I'd rather be following' showing a woman's rear end. We're here (and there) to learn about our passion for bicycles. If you have a passion for pornography involving bicycles and women, please set up your own private smut board. There are such things as 'members only' fora. But don't post it in public, on a site which is considered 'child friendly'.



It's sad, but true. Does anyone else remember the infamous thread about long distance randonneuring in Canada, and how it turned into a 'you should carry a gun' never mind that the OP stated quite specifically that she was in CANADA?

It doesn't even need to be a discussion of women's clothing in order to be turned into something with inappropriate images--there's a relatively recent thread about the wearing of championship jerseys in the general cycling forum. One of the last comments was

"I agree. Some people shouldn't wear championship jerseys."

and showed a photo of a woman wearing bibs. Not wearing anything on top, and holding her arms so that you thought her elbows were her breasts. I couldn't view the thread after that.

Perhaps the owner of the other site doesn't care about alienating 25&#37; or more of his membership. All I know is that I get a lot more respect here than I do there, I don't have to put up with smarmy smut, and we have far better moderators.

---

i can't even add anything to the above... except to say you've basically covered it! i agree wholeheartedly! i, too, am one that cannot stand the smut.... (i don't mind chit chat... but the smut (images AND words) just has NO part in a BICYCLING forum!)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by caligurl

i can't even add anythint to the above... except to say you've basically covered it! i agree wholeheartedly! i, too, am one that cannot stand the smut.... (i don't mind chit chat... but the smut (images AND words) just has NO part in a BICYCLING forum!)

---

I come from a motorcycling website that makes BF look tame. The ONLY rules in the off-topic area are No posting of nipples, and No threats...anything (and I do mean anything) else is fair game. Women are routinely treated like filth and someone telling a joke about rape is considered funny and encouraged. I had over 15,000 posts on that board over four years and just completely reached my limit...it's just SO unnecessary to behave that way in a public setting.

I have come to TE over the last couple of years to soak up the nurturing and comforting vibe of other women. This place is so unique in cyberspace, I credit the women who belong here, admin, and mods for keeping it that way.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by siume99

Other times it’s just a seedling that the answer grows out of.

A “forum” is successful because it’s a community of people. If I knew, without a doubt, that a particular person had the answer to my problem, why would I voice my question to everyone else? Why not personally email or call that one individual? When you limit your audience, you limit the number of opportunities.

If someone posts a question and doesn’t find a response that works for their situation, then the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for congratulations on an accomplishment and didn’t get any, the forum failed them. If the original poster was looking for an understanding shoulder and none offered, the forum failed. But, if one person offered the celebration or shoulder, then that one person met the expectations of the original poster. The forum was successful.

---

Absolutely brilliant. People with minds like this, and who say it so eloquently should be allowed on whatever forum they like!

Please stay. I personally welcome your input.

Quote:

---

Perhaps the owner of the other site doesn't care about alienating 25% or more of his membership.

---

so why exactly do you gals hang out there if it's such a terrible place? If you don't like a board, leave. If you hang around and continue to post.. you've got no right to complain as boards are privately owned and you are choosing to be there - i.e, no one is forcing you to participate.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Irulan

so why exactly do you gals hang out there if it's such a terrible place? If you don't like a board, leave. If you hang around and continue to post.. you've got no right to complain as boards are privately owned and you are choosing to be there - i.e, no one is forcing you to participate.

---

"Right to complain", beings how it's still a free country (and the board is located here) I figure we gals can complain til the cows come home if we want to AND still choose to participate on that board. :D

Sometimes folks just need to vent, that doesn't mean the board is completely without merit.

I don't agree with that. I've posted on some boards that left me regularly with an icky feeling for one reason or another. It dawned on me one day that I didn't have to do that do myself - why put myself in a place that doesn't make me feel good or ok, or that just p*sses me off all the time? To me, the logical choice is to not go there, keep a little serenity in my life.