I haven't progressed as much as I would have expected with respect to my upper body since I began working with my trainer. But I am where I am. Maybe I'm just not as motivated as you are, but it's just not something I care to beat myself up about. My advice is to stop being so hard on yourself all the time. You are a very active person; try to applaud yourself for the positive.
Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn. Appreciate your friends. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.
--Mary Anne Radmacher