Another need for advice...

[Mr. Bloom]

I am, for whatever reason, scared to death to approach them with demands! They have always been great bosses, never crossing any lines, always giving me excellent raises without me asking, were a great support through a difficult personal issue (divorce)...so standing up to them is so scary for me!

I am just not sure how to approach it....the work environment is so casual calling a "meeting" is weird. I will definitely be discussing this with hubby when he wakes up...he works in the corporate world and may know exactly what to do (besides, it involves him too!)

Thanks for listening...comments are always welcomed!

Being a bit contrary to the consensus, I think you should simply go with the flow...you can feed them a fish or teach them how to fish...a virus scan is so easy, simply teach them how to do and move on without any controversy...

[Irulan]

I've been self employed out of my home for 15+ years, and let me tell you, if you don't set boundaries people will walk all over you as far as you let them. The stronger boundaries you have, the more professional you will seem.

[ilima]

Being a bit contrary to the consensus, I think you should simply go with the flow...you can feed them a fish or teach them how to fish...a virus scan is so easy, simply teach them how to do and move on without any controversy...

Agree. Since it sounds like this is the first time they've really gone out of bounds, roll with it.

Yea, they're being a bit jerky. But they'll think you're a jerk if you point that out. And given you're in an asymmetric relationship in a really bad economy...well, just act wisely.

[bouncybouncy]

Being a bit contrary to the consensus, I think you should simply go with the flow...you can feed them a fish or teach them how to fish...a virus scan is so easy, simply teach them how to do and move on without any controversy...

Oh Mr Silver...I wish it were that easy! These folks are not teachable...not making excuses!!! been with them for over 6 years now, I have tried everything!!! Although setting boundaries might work...especially if I ignore the phone! They also are workaholics that do not know how to have a weekend...

Had a great pow-wow with hubby to work things out...I have a plan!

Thanks again for letting me vent y'all...

[Irulan]

They also are workaholics that do not know how to have a weekend...

ultimately this is not YOUR problem. What would they do if you were sick, out of the country, away on personal business?

I got call ID years ago, it's saved me lots of grief since I don't have a business phone line.

[ItchyBits]

Communication! I would tactfully but firmly communicate to them that you are willing to help them with IT but at the same time you are not the 24 hr help desk. Come up with ground rules for "out of business hours" communication.

[Brandi]

I agree with most you need to set GROUND RULES! No matter what! Caling that early on a weekend is just down right rude!

[Mr. Bloom]

Oh Mr Silver...I wish it were that easy! These folks are not teachable...not making excuses!!!

I get the picture...sounds like you have it under control, but all I'd suggest is taking the approach of saying "let me show you have to do this so next time you won't feel an urgent need to get us out of bed at an early hour..."

[uforgot]

Can't you just say that he's sleeping and you'll have him call when he wakes up? I never wake up anyone in our house unless it's an emergency.

Oh, and whatever happened to "You don't call before 9am or after 9pm"? You just don't make calls to people's homes other than these times unless they are expecting it, or it's a REAL emergency. It seems inconsiderate.

[sundial]

Can't you just say that he's sleeping and you'll have him call when he wakes up? I never wake up anyone in our house unless it's an emergency.

That reminds me of a story. Mr. Sundial the pharmacist has a couple of patients that abuse the emergency after hours phone number. At midnight he received several call from a customer who NEEDED Tylenol and could he deliver it?

[bouncybouncy]

Can't you just say that he's sleeping and you'll have him call when he wakes up? I never wake up anyone in our house unless it's an emergency.

I did...the annoying part was I was asleep too!!!

[Irulan]

Can't you just say that he's sleeping and you'll have him call when he wakes up? I never wake up anyone in our house unless it's an emergency.

Oh, and whatever happened to "You don't call before 9am or after 9pm"? You just don't make calls to people's homes other than these times unless they are expecting it, or it's a REAL emergency. It seems inconsiderate.

Some people have no boundaries. I used to work at a restauarant, and it got to the point where I never, ever picked up the phone on my day off. "other plans" was not considered acceptable if they actually got you on the line. The solution was, don't pick up the phone. This was before voice mail, called ID and all that.

Nowadays, there's no reason on the planet to answer a call you don't want to take. We don't keep a phone in the bedroom for starters, and I never ever pick it up in the middle of the night. Nowadays with kids in college I get up and check the ID if it rings in the middle of the night, but I don't answer it.

There's voice mail, caller ID, turning the thing off, etc - lots of options besides answering.

[uforgot]

Some people have no boundaries. I used to work at a restauarant, and it got to the point where I never, ever picked up the phone on my day off. "other plans" was not considered acceptable if they actually got you on the line. The solution was, don't pick up the phone. This was before voice mail, called ID and all that.

Nowadays, there's no reason on the planet to answer a call you don't want to take. We don't keep a phone in the bedroom for starters, and I never ever pick it up in the middle of the night. Nowadays with kids in college I get up and check the ID if it rings in the middle of the night, but I don't answer it.

There's voice mail, caller ID, turning the thing off, etc - lots of options besides answering.

Me too! If I don't recognize the number, I figure they can leave a voicemail. I've never been one to talk a lot on the phone. I did, however, receive a 1am call on Saturday from a weird number, and some instinct made me answer and it was my son on a borrowed cell phone who was passing through the Suez Canal on his way to the middle east!

[bouncybouncy]

there's no reason on the planet to answer a call you don't want to take.

I think we all agree here...I do "screen" my calls all the time! Just cause I have a cell phone does NOT mean I am at your beckon call 24/7...most people know this right? I would say common knowledge/etiquette

I just needed a place to vent, it was very early in the morning and could not CALL anyone, I was very tired cause I took the opportunity that I had while hubby was working and stayed up way past my bedtime playing with pictures...

Yes, I choose to keep my phone in my room, we do not have a land line, and I have family that may need to contact me in an emergency!

I merely wanted advice how to approach a boss about boundaries. Less than 2 weeks ago a tree fell on their house...emergency, yeah! But this last Sunday he called a total of 6 times in 5 minutes...for what HE thought was an emergency (computer virus...which it was not) I just wanted some outside views of how to approach a superior with inferior etiquette how to determine a real emergency and how to go about contacting me. Also...alot of times we appreciate a call from them about computer questions...most of the time it is a one line answer and saves IT hubby from hours of "fix-it" work. Another issue: teach boss to leave a detailed voicemail so we can determine if a call back is neccessary!!!

Thanks again for all your input...

[Irulan]

I guess I'm just thinking it's way easier to change what you do, than to try and change what THEY do....