Advice with Teenage Daughters & Piercings

[sandra]

Yikes, that's a hard one. I didn't have any girls, but once our son started talking about getting a tattoo. I said "yeah, your dad's been wanting one too! Y'all can go together and get one!"

That's the last we ever heard of it. He's 27 now and has no tattoos. I'm 51 and showing my age and that I'm "old school".

<sigh> I guess if she gets it done and changes her mind later, she can always take it out and let it grow up.

[KnottedYet]

navels heal poorly from all I've heard from friends who've had them done.

Nostrils, now, those heal up a treat! (devil's advocate!)

SKnot is 14. I've offered to get him his hair dyed, a piercing or two, a tattoo. Nope. If it's mom's idea he wants nothing to do with it. Darn, cuz I think he'd look good with purple hair and an earring...

Ask her what she thinks you should get pierced. Have her take you to her piercer so you can research "your" piercing. Make sure the initial piercing jewelry they use is ASTM certified medical quality materials. www.astm.org Hopefully made of titanium. Check to see that they autoclave the jewelry and needle/tools with heat sensitive tape, and that they expect you to initial the tape before it gets autoclaved. And that you inspect the tape after and confirm it has changed color.

Does the piercer wear gloves and a mask? (they gotta get their faces pretty close to their work sometimes, a mask is good for the piercer's protection and the piercee's protection)

Ask how long it would take for your ear to heal. Ask how that compares to, oh, say a navel piercing....

Anyway, if you are doing the research for "yourself" she might think about getting her next piercing differently.

And you could end up deciding to get your ear pierced!

[steinspinne]

I honestly don't see any problem with it. Tattoos are permanent, so of course one should wait at least until they are of age to commit. Piercings are really no big deal, IMO. Especially a navel piercing. It is small, concealed, and should she ever tire of it she can take it out and let it grow back.

I have had my navel pierced for four years now. The barbell I have in is the same that was inserted when I first got it pierced and made of surgical stainless steel, which I prefer to titanium because it will not give me an allergic reaction. As opposed to experiences others on the board have had, mine has been nothing but pleasant. Naturally there will be a little pus because your body recognizes the metal as a foreign object and is attempting to heal around it. That does not mean it is infected. Just be regular with cleanings, use a triple antibiotic and it will heal like a charm.

If she were asking for a facial piercing (which I have as well) I would have her wait a year because it could affect her employment opportunities depending on where she wants to work. If she were asking for a tattoo, (again, which I have) I would have her wait simply because of the permanence of it all.

Navel piercings are discreet and easy to care for. Like wearing sexy underwear on a first date when you know you're the only one that's going to see it, it's an extra little confidence booster to make her feel attractive and hip without drawing unnecessary attention.

Plus, if you take her to get it, your position on the parent's coolness scale will definitely be bumped up a few notches.

Edit: I just wanted to add that I don't think she is doing this to be rebellious at all. If she were she would not have sought out your permission in the first place. I think it is the mark of a very responsible young woman with respect for her parents that would have the conversation with them in a non-confrontational manner in the first place. I just think this issue is illustrative of the generational gap present and what is socially acceptable appearance-wise.

[Zen]

Like wearing sexy underwear on a first date when you know you're the only one that's going to see it, it's an extra little confidence booster to make her feel attractive and hip without drawing unnecessary attention.

Well, that probably settles it...

[Mr. Bloom]

it could affect her employment opportunities depending on where she wants to work.

Navel piercings are discreet and easy to care for. Like wearing sexy underwear on a first date when you know you're the only one that's going to see it, it's an extra little confidence booster to make her feel attractive and hip without drawing unnecessary attention.

Plus, if you take her to get it, your position on the parent's coolness scale will definitely be bumped up a few notches.

Is your name SilverDaughter????

This sounds like her exact pitch to Silver

[steinspinne]

Is your name SilverDaughter????

This sounds like her exact pitch to Silver

Nope, just a hard-working college student that would like to change the image that body mods are reserved for "freaks" and women of ill-repute. They can be quite tasteful and classy, if handled properly.

However all of this, of course, is just my humble opinion.

[DirtDiva]

I'm as certain as I could be without having met your daughter that it will be the fashion/peer thing that is motivating her. I suppose there could be an element of the rebellion/shock-the-parents thing, but, well, that kinda is fashionable when you're sixteen. Personally, I don't see a problem with a girl of that age having a belly button piercing - she's the one that's going to have to pay for it (unless you're a softy), keep it clean, deal with it if it did get infected, etc. - but she's your and Silver's daughter so it's your and Silver's decision whether to let her do it or make her wait another year.

[KnottedYet]

Oooh, I wanna be a woman of ill-repute! Can you do that when you're over 40?

<Knot-has-5-facial-piercings>

A lot of it has to do with what part of the country you're in, I'm sure. Around here you see some pretty "wild" piercings on very "clean cut" folks. My piercings are tame and boring in comparison. Age doesn't seem to matter here, either. I have a patient in his 60's with about 6 earrings in one ear.

What might seem rebellious in one part of the country could be pretty tame or even passe' in another part.

[DirtDiva]

You're never too old to have a bad reputation.

[steinspinne]

Oooh, I wanna be a woman of ill-repute! Can you do that when you're over 40?

<Knot-has-5-facial-piercings>

A lot of it has to do with what part of the country you're in, I'm sure. Around here you see some pretty "wild" piercings on very "clean cut" folks. My piercings are tame and boring in comparison. Age doesn't seem to matter here, either. I have a patient in his 60's with about 6 earrings in one ear.

Must be nice! Where are you from?

Down here in good 'ole Texas, once you get outside of the metropolitan areas like Dallas and Austin, things go downhill quick. I am very surprised my employers have been as accepting of my nose stud as they have. But I guess doing your job well and with a good attitude (no matter how much you don't want to sometimes!) really pays off.

[mimitabby]

Oh, one more thing. A story
when I was 16, a boy was hanging around that I was kind of ambivalent about.
My father asked me if I liked him. He said he didn't but if I liked the guy, he'd continue to be gracious and polite.
My father told me he didn't like the kid but gave ME the decision to make.
Within 24 hours I told the kid my father didn't like him and not to come around anymore!

Let your daughter know how you feel.. she might change her mind!

[KnottedYet]

Seattle.

I'm not kidding, my piercings are TAME compared to the folks I see every day. There are many co-workers who have more exciting stuff than I have, and as long as the jewelry is tasteful the powers-that-be really don't care. (some of *them* have great piercings, too.)

Mr. Silver - tell Silver-daughter that navel piercing is kinda passe' here in Seattle, and most folks I know who had them have taken them out. But don't tell her what's in-fashion here now... (big honkin' bars and stuff thru the entire helix of the ear, or clean ears with just the little cartilage flap in front of the earhole pierced)

[whippetgirl]

Check out this article from the San Francisco Chronicle.


http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cg...AGIEFKN7I1.DTL

I took my 16 year old daughter to get her belly button pierced. In Berkeley at Zebra. They hand out bumper stickers that say: "My honor student got pierced at Zebra."

It was okay. And their sterility standards were impecable.

[Dianyla]

Echoing the recommendations to go to a reputable piercer who is good at proper piercing placement and jewelry selection. I use titanium for all of my piercings because it is one of the safest least reactive metals. And, aftercare is the most important part of a piercing. Even given the best piercing and aftercare, it is very common for navel piercings to fail to heal. I recently retired mine after trying very hard for 15 months to coax it into healing, but no go.

I don't think a navel piercing is a big deal from a "morality" or "nice girls don't...." point of view. They are totally mainstream with most folks under 40 and with many folks over 40 as well.

Then again, maybe I'm not one to talk. I've got 10 piercings, only 4 of which are above the neck and publicly visible. You do the math.

[KSH]

Well, I didn't read all the response... so forgive me if I repeat something that has been said.

Navel piercings are discreet and easy to care for. Like wearing sexy underwear on a first date when you know you're the only one that's going to see it, it's an extra little confidence booster to make her feel attractive and hip without drawing unnecessary attention.

Well, she is 16. Call me an old fuddy-duddy at 35, but a 16 year old girl doesn't need to secretly feel sexy... and that is what sexy underwear and something like this do.

She can get it herself in a year... so she can wait a year. And in a year she can take herself to get it done and pay for it.