Haven't ridden for 3 days because of a very scary man

I think I'm going to go get back on my bike this morning, but I'm scared and that just takes all the joy out of it.

I live in the boonies, quite some distance from any police help. There's this guy who lives a little over a mile down the road from me. He's out every day on his 4-wheeler with a chainsaw, up and down the road, cutting up dead fall and bringing it home to burn in his wood stove. A couple of people warned me in the past "stay away from that guy, he and his wife are crazy," and I've never talked to him or had a run-in with him until recently.

Well - he's followed me twice now and he makes it very clear that he's following me. He's deliberately scaring me and enjoying it. He doesn't just hang back - he'll ride up beside me on his 4-wheeler and stare at me, then go ahead of me for a quarter mile or so and pull over and stare at me as I ride past him, then get back behind me and follow me some more. The last time I rode my bike, he was out in somebody's yard cutting wood and saw me going by. He turned off his chainsaw and got on his 4-wheeler and followed me again. This time he pulled up next to me when I was at a stop sign and said "sorry for scaring you, nice day for a bike ride isn't it?" I said "Yes, it's a beautiful day," and continued riding and he got behind me again and followed me for at least a mile (and yes - he was following me, not just riding down the road. You don't ride down the road, behind a bicycle, that slowly on a 4-wheeler) before I took out my cell phone and pretended to be calling for help, at which point he pulled into the driveway of a farm where nobody was home. Keep in mind there are very few cars down these country roads - I was quite a lone with him. I kept looking back to see if he backed out and went home, but he didn't. I think he was behind the trees watching me. He WANTED me to be afraid.

I kept riding until I was far enough away that he couldn't see where I was going, then I hid between some buildings and called my son to give me a ride home.

When I told my son what happened he said "That's funny, because something weird happened before. I didn't mention it because it seemed so crazy that I thought I was imagining it, but he was out on the road with a hand gun one day, waving it in the air." Then when I told my husband about what happened he said "That's funny, because one day I saw him prowling around on our property."

I could call the police but, seriously, it wouldn't do any good. People have called the police on him many times before and they don't do anything. He's mentally ill - what are they going to do? They can't put him in jail and they can't have him hospitalized because there aren't any mental hospitals up here anymore. If I see him brandishing a firearm again, then I'll call for sure.

The police think I'm a nut case, anyway, because I've called them so many times before. I called because there was a drunk driver weaving back and forth from ditch to ditch on our road, and because somebody was shooting guns right outside my window (turned out they were just hunting - but they were trespassing), and one time my son accidentally dialed 911 and, even though they called back and asked if everything was OK, they still showed up in force and shined spotlights all over my house (took them a long time to get here, though), and I called another time because a dangerous schizophrenic patient (I've taken care of him in the ER) was out on the side of the road hitchiking and I didn't want him to hurt anybody, and another time because there was a huge dead buck in the middle of the highway, and another time because a bunch of idiots put a deer bait pile right by the highway and we hit two deer in two days because of it and . . . . . . . . . you get the picture.

Anyway . . . . I do have a concealed carry permit (wouldn't you get one if you lived here?), but I don't want to have to carry a gun on my bike! I want to have fun on my bike and, besides, it'll stretch out my jacket. I'd have to carry it in my pocket because I don't have a holster. I want to be free and not worry about stuff! It's not fun at all to ride when you're scared.

There is one road where I've never seen him, and I don't have to ride past his house to get there. I think I'll go ahead and bring a gun - tears are stinging my eyes just thinking of having to carry a gun doing the one thing I really enjoy doing . . . . but he is truly dangerous.

Sorry. I just had to vent. I'm so mad and sad and frustrated. I get depressed when I don't get exercise and I haven't had a good workout in days. I'm about ready to start bawling my eyes out.

Sometimes it's so hard to live here.

That sucks. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that:(

Can you drive elsewhere to ride for a little while? To let things settle down??

CA

How horrible! I thought dogs were an issue..............that's nothing compared to this.

Could you drive to another spot and ride from there?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CA_in_NC

That sucks. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that:(

Can you drive elsewhere to ride for a little while? To let things settle down??

CA

---

I thought about it - but I have to put my bike in the back of my car and I have a problem taking my wheel off and putting it back on. The brakes always get out of alignment. I know it's because I'm kind of new to riding and I'm doing something wrong.

Maybe I'll go ahead and try to do that today, though.

If I'm going to go I'd better get going now. I think I'll try to drive somewhere else and go for a ride.

Just for future reference if - you know - I'm missing . . . . his last name is Spalding and he lives in the house with the pet pigeons, set back from the county road! :rolleyes:

You could get a nice big can of bear spray (pepper spray) and keep in in your bottle cage, next time he follows you stop (keep your bike between you and him) and say loudly STOP FOLLOWING ME!! Peddle off and when he starts following you again...mace the hell out of him. If it were me and I had a CCW, I'd carry for a while as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Pax

You could get a nice big can of bear spray (pepper spray) and keep in in your bottle cage, next time he follows you stop (keep your bike between you and him) and say loudly STOP FOLLOWING ME!! Peddle off and when he starts following you again...mace the hell out of him. If it were me and I had a CCW, I'd carry for a while as well.

---

Yes, but he may have a gun handy....and he is unstable.... :(

It is awful that you have such a crazy person bothering you. I hope you can find somewhere safe to ride. The idea of driving your bike to another area sounds like the best thing for you at this time. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ana

Yes, but he may have a gun handy....and he is unstable.... :(

---

I just can't live in fear, so confrontation is my approach when all other avenues have been exhausted. Seems the only other option is to quit riding. :(

Hey, I like that idea..............it would be my luck that the wind would be blowing the wrong direction and it would get me instead:eek:

Good luck Staceysue and enjoy your ride. Probably not a bad idea to learn how to haul your bike yourself anyway.........kinda like changing a flat tire the first time.

Quitting riding wouldn't be an option.........

May I suggest perhaps arranging a meeting with you (and possibly your family) with the local head of police, or some sort of patrol manager or something? Even if you think you look crazy, the police probably don't think so. You certainly have a very real concern here, and it should not be taken lightly. Good luck!

How awful.
I live in the country too and had an isolated stalking incident while running a few years ago. A neighbor gave me a ride home. I can't imagine having this ongoing issue like you do.

I would notify the police. Most of us have called to report things over the years. None of yours sounded over the top with the exception of your son's call. But hey, kids do dumb things.

When I first moved out to the sticks I called 911 to report a fire. I was driving home in the dark and it was smoky all around me. Turned out to be a controlled burn on a farm nearby. It looked like every emergency truck in our county was lined up in the street at our driveway. They were very nice and assured me that it was not a problem.

After my stalking experience I went to the sheriffs department and filled out a report. I suggest you do the same. I did not call, I physically went to their office. I am sure they will take you serious if you are a real person to them and not just a voice on the phone. I also bought some mace. I had only been carrying a knife.

We do not have a gun. Not because I am anti-gun but because we have just never gotten one. My husband recently got his permit to carry but still hasn't purchased a gun. We joke that we are the only family in the country with a sprinkler system and no guns. Transplants from the burbs!

Call the police anyways. And keep calling them every time he threatens you and your family. It's their job to take care of public safety, and this guy certainly seems like a threat. The more calls about him that they receive, the less they can ignore the situation. And to be fair, they might not know about all of his antics if no one calls in about him.

Best of luck to you.

Oh, living in the boonies! So fun! I have had a couple of scary run ins with my crazy neighbors way out in the middle of nowhere. Once, I was pretty sure I would have been kidnapped if my husband wasn't driving slowly up and down the road while I was running... why can't people just live and let live?

I thought of the pepper spray idea too - though that would only work one time. You would get away, but you and your family could probably never walk or ride past him again without him getting very angry. Also, you already know he has a gun, so I'm not sure I would want to enter an arms race with a crazy person. I would absolutely take the other road that he cannot see you on. As far as seeing him trespass, I would call the cops every single time. You could consider getting a restraining order (?) I don't know anything about them. Do you have to confront the individual to get one? I know it wouldn't help, but you would be documenting harassment. Alternatively, I know this seems drastic, but you could consider moving. Feeling safe is so important. If you have to wonder if he's going to show up in your house one day, that will wear on you. I dunno... I know that's extreme, but I thought I would mention it...

Sorry for your predicament...

Keep trusting your instincts. If your gut says don't ride by this man's property, then don't do it. I agree with the drive to ride advice. You'll at least get to ride, even though it is more of a hassle.

Stay safe!

Does your stae have a bicycling advocacy group? If so, contact them. Are there and state laws protecting bicyclists. In Colorado it is illegal to harrass cyclists. 3 days after the law passed 2 jerks in an old clunker passed very close to my friend at 50 mph. The passenger leaned out the side of the car and pushed my friend's left hand down. Fortunately, his hand was positioned near the center of his handlebars so he didn't go down. He called 911 and there just happened to be a police officer nearby. The guys were well known in the area for various offenses so they ended up with a court date.

Keep a record of everything (dates, times, actions) the guy does. Pictures or video could be helpful. Our neighborhood was having a problem with a noisy motorcyclist. He was well known as a neighborhood bully and residents were afraid to complain because they were worried he would damage their houses. I kept a record and made it well known, to neighbors and police, that I knew the ordinances, (his muffler isn't regulation) and was keeping a log of his activities, the noise died down.

Do you release your brake before you remove your wheel? It's the first thing you do before loosening the wheel.

Don't feel bad about calling the police when others are breaking the law. I once called the police on my neighbor. He had parked his car near our house, his windows were down and music was playing very loudly. It was 2:30 am and a Sat nite. I thought someone in the neighorhood was having a party so I called it in. Turns out my neighbor was drunk and had passed out with his keys in the ignition. A no, no where I lived so they took him in. I still feel bad about that.

I agree with the others, trust your intuition and ride somewhere else for now.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ginny

Also, you already know he has a gun, so I'm not sure I would want to enter an arms race with a crazy person. I would absolutely take the other road that he cannot see you on. As far as seeing him trespass, I would call the cops every single time. You could consider getting a restraining order (?) I don't know anything about them. Do you have to confront the individual to get one? I know it wouldn't help, but you would be documenting harassment.

---

A restraining order is a civil document, not a criminal one. A protective order is, but I doubt you have a case for its issuance. Harassment is very, very difficult to prove and is not really a good charge. You can get a criminal trespass order against him if he is on your property. And yes, it is the job of the police to respond when you need them...it sounds like you are a frequent flyer with them, but that is not always a bad thing. 911 hangups happen, we ALWAYS respond even when we get a call back. They get irritating when people let their kids play with the phone over and over, but once is understandable.

I am certainly NOT for getting into a gun battle with him. I am not sure how many CHL holders are actually prepared to shoot someone. I don't carry my weapon off duty because I am not prepared to get into a gun battle over anything. On duty, I have to, and I know with 100 percent surity that I would do it to protect myself or someone else. And I know that I am trained to shoot under stress and not hit a kid down the block. I don't know many CHL carriers that train under those conditions, and the statistics involved in civilian shootings weigh heavily in favor of the crazy people and against a casual passerby who gets caught in the crossfire. Find another option for that.

You are in a bad spot. I don't have good advice for you except to ride somewhere else. Being informed is a good thing. Is he a registered sex offender? On parole (in which case he cannot have a weapon even on his own property)? Have protective orders against him? Use whatever is public record. Get a big dog, be aware of what is going on around you, and notify the police of the situation (probably in person, go down and talk to an officer...a good way to start is probably "I know you guys have been out to my place before but....").

Bummer.

Thank you all SO MUCH for understanding why I'm afraid and not acting like I'm some sort of chicken for being so scared! Also, thanks for not acting like I'm an idiot for calling the police for those other things in the past. And thanks for not thinking I'm some sort of fundamentalist nut or something for having a gun. I'm not a violent person at all, but I don't want to have to be afraid all of the time just because I'm a woman. I had two different men try to rape me when I was 14, and I'm not going to spend my life not doing things just because I'm afraid. I have every right to enjoy my life just as much as any man can enjoy his.

I decided to go ahead and try riding down that other road and see if I ran into him. If he was sitting in his house actually trying really hard to see me, he'd probably be able to, especially if he was using binoculars. On my way back, I could barely make out his 4-wheeler heading down his driveway but he must not have seen me because he didn't follow me.

I brought a small gun in my jacket pocket, and a knife in my pants. It was actually fine riding like that - it wasn't uncomfortable at all and it didn't stretch out my jacket. I'll plan on carrying both items all the time when I ride from now on. Even though he's armed, he doesn't know that I am. It's kind of like when a big dog chases you - the last thing they expect is for you to stop and confront them, and the last thing he'd expect would be for a woman to be armed.

I only went about 10 miles today but I feel like a different woman. It's amazing how much a little bit of exercise will elevate a person's mood.

I will go to the police station with my son and husband if I have another run-in with him. You're right. It's their job to protect people and, even though they wouldn't be able to get here fast enough to help me if he tried to hurt me, at least I'd have a report on file if anything happened. If he bothers me again I'll get a restraining order.

I wonder if he's schizophrenic and off his meds or something. If that's the case, they can bring him to the hospital and have him involuntarily admitted for a few days until they get him back on his medications. From what I've heard, his wife is actually crazier than he is - so he'll probably have to get into some sort of trouble before anybody brings him to the hospital.

Ginny, Mommybird, thanks for sharing your scary stories. I was starting to think there was something wrong with me - like I attract nut cases or something.

Please do re-read Kenyonchris' post about carrying a gun. She is a police officer, and I really respect her experience.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by kenyonchris

A restraining order is a civil document, not a criminal one. A protective order is, but I doubt you have a case for its issuance. Harassment is very, very difficult to prove and is not really a good charge. You can get a criminal trespass order against him if he is on your property. And yes, it is the job of the police to respond when you need them...it sounds like you are a frequent flyer with them, but that is not always a bad thing. 911 hangups happen, we ALWAYS respond even when we get a call back. They get irritating when people let their kids play with the phone over and over, but once is understandable.

I am certainly NOT for getting into a gun battle with him. I am not sure how many CHL holders are actually prepared to shoot someone. I don't carry my weapon off duty because I am not prepared to get into a gun battle over anything. On duty, I have to, and I know with 100 percent surity that I would do it to protect myself or someone else. And I know that I am trained to shoot under stress and not hit a kid down the block. I don't know many CHL carriers that train under those conditions, and the statistics involved in civilian shootings weigh heavily in favor of the crazy people and against a casual passerby who gets caught in the crossfire. Find another option for that.

You are in a bad spot. I don't have good advice for you except to ride somewhere else. Being informed is a good thing. Is he a registered sex offender? On parole (in which case he cannot have a weapon even on his own property)? Have protective orders against him? Use whatever is public record. Get a big dog, be aware of what is going on around you, and notify the police of the situation (probably in person, go down and talk to an officer...a good way to start is probably "I know you guys have been out to my place before but....").

Bummer.

---

Yeah - the last thing I want is to be labeled a "frequent flyer" and not have their help if I need it some day. They've only actually been out here the two times, and both of them were 5 years ago (the time when my son accidentally dialed '911' and the time when the hunters were shooting guns outside my window). I did stop by the station about 6 months ago to let them know somebody was prowling on the property (now I think it was probably him) but the other calls were all a year ago or more. . . . .

I checked and he's not on the sexual offender list.

I have a big beautiful very protective German Shepherd. Too bad she couldn't keep up with me on my bike . . . . .

I am probably one of the very few CHL holders who is absolutely prepared to shoot somebody. . . . . but I don't want to talk any more about guns and shooting people anymore on here.

Driving to bike would lower the stress of the situation and let you enjoy a ride without looking over your shoulder. Depending on your vehicle setup, it might be easier to load your bike in the back seat. Whatever makes it easier and the least amount of stress.

Sounds like an unfortunate situation. Neighbors are always an issue in the city or in the boonies. Why is getting along so difficult?

Sarah

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by sarahkonamojo

Driving to bike would lower the stress of the situation and let you enjoy a ride without looking over your shoulder. Depending on your vehicle setup, it might be easier to load your bike in the back seat. Whatever makes it easier and the least amount of stress.

Sounds like an unfortunate situation. Neighbors are always an issue in the city or in the boonies. Why is getting along so difficult?

Sarah

---

I drive a Prius - so it has a hatchback. There's plenty of room if I take off the wheel but it takes so much strength to open the "quick release" thing on the wheel and I'm afraid I'm not getting it on tight enough when I put it back on. Also, I'm always knocking the front brakes around when I lay the bike in the car . . . . . I know there's a very simple solution. People do it all the time!

Yeah - dumb ol' neighbors!

I have absolutely no experience with this kind of thing, but it strikes me that this man sounds a little like an aggressive dog. If you can't reason with him, you can either confront him, or make him lose interest. By a confrontation you want to either shame him or scare him back, and both make him, in a sense, more "interested" in you, for lack of a better word. I'm not sure you want that level of attention, and it could make him want to get back at you somehow.

I'm not in any way saying you should skulk around and hide, but it may be that your best bet is making yourself "uninteresting". Either by ignoring him, if possible, or simply by removing yourself from his sight for a while so that he latches onto something else to do and forgets about his little "game".

But please do tell the police, and any neighbours you might have too.

PS. The quick-release on your wheel does not have to be on that tight. If you have to use a little effort - no leverage - to open it, that's plenty tight.

I live in a rural area as well where the 4-wheelers outnumber the bicycles and had an incident last year with a family on our riding route over their dogs. We couldn't ride past the house without both dogs coming at us from both sides of the road. This particular evening, my husband sprayed the dogs as we went by and the woman of the house actually got in her SUV with her small children in the back and chased us down screaming and yelling and using language that made me blush---in front of her children. She threatened to call the police on us to which my husband replied "Go ahead. I'll call them too." I rode home to get our truck and my husband rode back to her house to wait on the police. While he waited by the mailbox, the neighbors surrounded him on their 4 wheelers riding in circles yelling how they saw him spray the dogs and calling him names. The sight of a man in spandex on a bicycle in this area of the world was as odd as snow in July.

I arrived the same time as the police and the officer was wonderful. They used the same language with him and demanded he arrest us. He told the dog owners they were lucky because he would've used his gun instead of pepper spray on the dogs and they were the ones in the wrong. It gave us some satisfaction but it didn't change a thing. They still let the dogs run loose and a week later they knocked an elderly man off his bike and sent him to the hospital. Because we had called the police and made an official report earlier, they were able to send animal control to the house this time and threaten to take the dogs. They still run loose but have been sprayed several times since and have learned to stay in the yard when we go by.

I agree with Kenyon Chris and kathi.......You should document what has happened and definitely make a report. It might help someone else who is having problems with this creep as well.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by staceysue

Yeah - the last thing I want is to be labeled a "frequent flyer" and not have their help if I need it some day. They've only actually been out here the two times, and both of them were 5 years ago (the time when my son accidentally dialed '911' and the time when the hunters were shooting guns outside my window).

I am probably one of the very few CHL holders who is absolutely prepared to shoot somebody. . . . . but I don't want to talk any more about guns and shooting people anymore on here.

---

You would never NOT have their help regardless of how many times you called. It is our job to come, even if we have to come six times a night. Eventually one (not you) will get charged with filing a false report if we keep coming out for non-legitimate things, but it sounds like the things you have called about have been fine.

You brought up the gun as a method of self defense and have said you are carrying it, so I feel that it is an important point to address, and I hope to give you a qualified opinion on it so that you can be informed. If you carry it legally, and it makes you feel better, that's great. But please, PLEASE be aware that statistics put you at *greater* risk of shooting a bystander or putting yourself in harms way not to mention being criminally liable for the shooting (even if it is "justified"...you would be amazed). Shooting under stress decreases MY accuracy by 60% (or all LE), and I regularly shoot under stress (with sim rounds, when I am being shot at), for civilians without that training, the chances you will make a shot you would NORMALLY make decreases to 20%. If it is a difficult or moving target, less than 10%. That round that you miss has to go somewhere. Add to that the fact that reaction is slower than action, and the chances of a gun as an effective means of self defense outweigh the risks involved in carrying it. For home defense, when you have a chance to surprise someone, be on target, or even take a deep breath, the percentages are slightly more favorable.

I am in favor of putting your bike in the car and riding elsewhere so that you can ride unarmed. Use your gun for home protection. Carry pepper spray if you have trouble. Let the police know about your problems so they can check him out. If you catch him on your property get a criminal trespass order (remember, restraining orders are civil in nature only, no police can enforce it).

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by staceysue

I drive a Prius - so it has a hatchback. There's plenty of room if I take off the wheel but it takes so much strength to open the "quick release" thing on the wheel and I'm afraid I'm not getting it on tight enough when I put it back on.

---

You can order a new quick release skewer for your wheel for around $15 or $20 (I can't remember, that might be for one or the pair, but either way, it's pretty cheap). I had one I hated on my commuter (it was a Specialized that came stock on my old bike, low end, and didn't lock unless I used all my strength, or asked for help, which was annoying), and got a much easier to use Shimano set that's taken the stress out of loading my bike in my car.

Good luck dealing with the nut-case!

I live in a rural area and don't ride in my neighborhood because the roads are curvy and hilly. Cars go by fast and I'm just chicken to ride under those conditions. :eek:

Rather than ride where I'm not comfortable my bike stays in the back of my van until I'm ready to ride. I have 3 neighborhoods in town where I ride and a few in other towns I go to when I can. Riding should be an enjoyable, stress free experience. I hope you can find good places to ride where you can relax and have a great time!:)

I hope the situation with your neighbor can be resolved so you can return to riding in your own neighborhood.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by staceysue

If he bothers me again I'll get a restraining order.
(snip)
I wonder if he's schizophrenic and off his meds or something. If that's the case, they can bring him to the hospital and have him involuntarily admitted for a few days until they get him back on his medications.

---

You will need a protective order, not a restraining order. And you have to have more than what you have told us here to have one issued. Assault or something. It is a shame that something has to happen, but that is how it is.

The police can take him on an Emergency Medical detention only if he is proving to be an immediate and obvious threat to himself or someone else, not just because he is off his meds. I cannot stress the importance of reporting these incidents so that you have a history. And then avoid him like the plague.

(((((((staceysue)))))))

So sorry you have to deal with this. I live in the country, too, and I completely understand everything you're saying.

I just have one thing to add:

You don't have to take your front wheel off to put your bike in a Prius. (Not unless you have passengers and need to keep the back seats up, anyhow.)

I don't take the wheel off my 50 cm road bike, and I've carried a buddy's 58 cm road bike, and there was room for a bike bigger than his. It slides right in.

You'd be amazed at what can go in the back of your Prius... and so will everyone at Best Buy. :D


KC, she has plenty to get a restraining order in Ohio. It's different in every state. As is the issue of whether it has to be a domestic situation, or whether stranger stalking qualifies. It wouldn't hurt to talk to a lawyer, although when someone's really wacko as this guy sounds like, it's debatable how much good a court order will do...

Everyone's saying avoid him, but I don't have enough information to say that. I mean, no one has actually gone to his house and talked to him and expected him to be pleasant and conversational, have they?

I'm not saying invite him over for tea or anything. But I am saying, what's wrong with taking your husband by and being friendly and asking his name and stuff like that? Asking him not to follow you? Saying hi when you pass him?

He's not on the sex-offender registry, and that doesn't automatically make him an innocent bystander, but can't you allow a little room for better understanding? I'd be happier knowing I did everything I could, including trying to make this man at least an acquaintance, before I did anything radical like moving elsewhere. Sure, he's probably crazy, but I'd have to find out for sure, for myself.

Karen

Kenyon, your advice as a police officer re: civilian use of guns is appreciated.

StaceySue,

How scary! I have to go with the majority here, and encourage you to find a route that feels safe. Whether you need to watch over your shoulder or not, you shouldn't have to wonder. Give yourself some peace of mind.

Definitely go and talk to the police. They need to know about this guy. If you feel threatened, they really need to know.

The thought of carrying a gun sounds scary to me - what if you crashed? Could you really pull it out fast enough to do any good? So many "what ifs". Even if you just point it at him, or even just show him that you have it - you don't know how he might react to that. I wouldn't confront this guy. I agree with Karen's suggestion to go over (with your DH - absolutely NOT alone) and meet him, ask him politely to not follow you, and try to be nice (but not so friendly that he thinks he can come over & visit). I wouldn't call the cops on the guy at this point without first asking him to stop, giving him that chance (although he had plenty of chances to not try to intimidate you, already). After that, if things don't improve - definitely. Neighbors can be tough to deal with - I would try to be amiable before doing anything that might set him off. Like lph said - make yourself less interesting. Less interesting and less accessible.

Stay safe out there.

I agree with KenyonChris. I asked a police detective friend about getting a gun to carry in my car when DD and I went on our cross-country drive last summer, and he literally grimaced and said, "People like you are more likely to shoot themselves than someone trying to hurt you. Go get on of those girly tasers if you want a defensive weapon."

And by that, he meant a pink one, not the black one he keeps on his desk to intimidate students.

I think a taser is a good idea.

And I'd be scared, too.

Roxy

If a man seems scary to you, or gives you a case of the creeps, or just plain sets off your instincts: GET AWAY RIGHT NOW!! NO BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT! NO "MAYBE HE'S NICE AND I'M MISJUDGING."

Talk to the police. Stay away from the scary man.

PM me if you want to.

+1 on avoiding any further encounters with the scary man. It sucks that you have to change your route, but the potential for this to escalate into something ugly is simply not worth it.

One other thing to add to the excellent advice that others have posted -- if you haven't already done so, it might help you feel more prepared to deal with a potential conflict if you were to take a self-defense course, especially one that addresses how women are approached/attacked. Ask the police officers when you talk to them, if any of them teaches self-defense, or if there is a community college near you that offers these courses.

I took an excellent course when I was in grad school a few years ago -- they talked about avoiding potential conflict/danger; asserting yourself as a means of warning someone who might be bothering you that you are not "easy prey"; breaking different kinds of holds; basic punching and that it's good to practice not broadcasting your punches. And we got plenty of scenario/role playing practice at all of this throughout the course.

Hopefully you never have to "use" any of this stuff; but in my experience, it's helped me to stay calm in a crisis and know that if someone came after me I would know how to handle it.

Do not wait for another event. Tell your local law enforcement agency now.

Do not go to his home, with or without your husband.
He wants to control you and showing him how nice you are will not change his mind.

Talk to your neighbors about their experiences with this guy. See if he is intimidating others or just stalking you.

Change your riding venue.
When I remove my front tire I find I get better leverage if I stand in front of the handlebars. I hold the bike up by pinching the front tire between my knees. Once I flip down the lever, I move behind the handlebars and bend over them to finish loosening. I can't even budge the quick release if I approach it from behind the bars. This works 100% even if my hubby was the one who last put the tire on.
I have a VW GTI hot hatch and my bike fits great.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KnottedYet

If a man seems scary to you, or gives you a case of the creeps, or just plain sets off your instincts: GET AWAY RIGHT NOW!! NO BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT! NO "MAYBE HE'S NICE AND I'M MISJUDGING."

Talk to the police. Stay away from the scary man.

---

Yup. We've had this conversation on here before. Gavin DeBecker, The Gift of Fear, trust your instincts.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by NbyNW

breaking different kinds of holds; basic punching and that it's good to practice not broadcasting your punches. And we got plenty of scenario/role playing practice at all of this throughout the course.

---

Out of shape out of practice Nidan (2nd degree black belt in Aikido) chimes in.

Yes, if it will help you to feel confident do take a self defense course. Good courses last 1-3 days.

Situational self defense does .... not .... work. Plenty of role playing practice? Ok :cool:

let's do a basic chokehold shall we?

Now from the rear
Again, 'cept now I'm grabbing your wrist
In motion, starts from in front and grab from behind.
grabs your wrist from the rear and instead of a chokehold there's a knife knife at the rear of your neck I've still got the arm
both hands now
back to the chokehold but it's a bar across the arm (there's quite a few ways to knock you out; one way you can breath but you'll pass out if you don't move fast, the other one you can't breath but if you'd just move the opposite way that your logic tells you) so we'll do all those including ....
with the lapel, not my arm ...
Front choke holds ....

martial arts is not a sport it's an addiction :rolleyes: There are infinite variations even grabbing a person with one hand. Say you get one technique sorta kinda right it's different with everyone, shorter, taller, stronger, more flexible .....

It's an art, it's part of my eclectic spiritual practice. I just hope and pray that I never ever have to use it again :o

If (hopefully not when) you need to use it there will not be a post-it telling you what to do. Your body must react from a primordial memory. That takes years of practice. You can not think. You must MOVE.

Move move move make noise move move move move move.

And never ever ever go to another location. I'd die trying to stay right there.

Training since about 1979 and every class I take my goal is maybe just maybe get one technique right ONCE. And speaking of training in Aikido we do a fair amount of knife defense, but every once in a while my teacher has someone attack with a live blade. It's training, in a class, but my eyes get big, this is intense. One missed response and I'll be cleaning blood off the mat, my blood for a while. If you think a few grabs, a couple releases in a class will work I am sad to tell you that is wrong. If you think in the fear, immediacy of a "real" situation maybe with a weapon or multiple attackers that you will react promptly and correctly from a few classes you may be dead wrong.

Situational self defense does not work. It's awesome crosstraining for cycling but not good self defense.

This works :cool:

http://www.impactbayarea.org

Find a class that teaches conflict avoidance and diffusion. The best self defense of all is to just not be in the fight in the first place. The fight that does not happen is the one you win.

And then if you can't avoid or diffuse the situation just artless, techniqueless mayhem brutality and utter destruction. In all my years of study I was amazed. There's little art to it, it's not pretty, it's not beautiful just hit them where it hurts and never stop until they are no longer a threat to you and you can take that any way you want.

Most real fights will start or end on the floor. Situational self defense will not work from there.

As for my training it's an art I hope to never use again. even in beautifully falling off the bike which it's helped a couple of times:p

This sounds a little discouraging so let me just end by saying I feel strongly that the best self defense is what we all do already. Get out there, look strong because we are strong, look fearless because we are fearless. Sure, bring a cell phone, trust your gut but by just being out there looking fabulous and strong that is truly the best self defense there is.

Definitely ride someplace else for a while. Get a bike rack if that's what's needed to transport your bike.

If this happened to me, I'd do the following -- aside from riding elsewhere, which is my first choice -- but I can't say I'm recommending this, because I am not you. I'm big and formidable, don't put up with much, and go to angry when I'm scared, which is why I'll probably be found in a ditch someday, and that's why I'm not recommending this, but I'd:

• carry a cell phone, air horn, and camera with me
• make a call -- or make it look as though I'm making a call -- every time this guy started to follow me once he was close enough to see me using the phone
• take a picture -- or make it look as though I'm taking a picture -- of him following me
• if he didn't back off when he saw me making the first call, I'd call again, and this time, really call someone, whether husband, son, friend, police, nearest neighbor

But really, ride somewhere else, and avoid this guy. Do not go to his house. Someone who is entertained or amused by scaring someone else (outside of a prankish "boo!" when someone is coming around a corner) is dangerous.