Road Rage and ashamed of it(a little long)

Hi All,
I'm so upset I could cry. Today I was going along like I usually do...pedalling along, sweaty, hot, and loving every moment. As always, I stayed out of the way of traffic as much as I could. And, as always, there were some people who just had to honk and shout at me. Normally, I just let it roll off, but these girls drove past me, slowed down, came onto the shoulder (which is about 2 meters wide) and tried to force me off the road. I should mention here that there's a drain ditch and then limestone rock wall. I stayed on the bike and as they started screaming and yelling stuff, I just lost it and screamed right back. The pulled ahead a bit and pulled off the road waiting for me. When I got up to them they asked me what my problem was and I very loudly and very rudely basically told them that if they can yell at me when I'm not bothering anyone then i certainly had the right to retaliate and yell right back and that if they couldn't take it they shouldn't dish it out. I stood there madder than heck and stared them down. They yelled some more stuff. Called me a bunch of names. I cussed a blue streak, got on my bike, rode around them and kept going on my way.
I'm ashamed of my behavior. I was scared at the way they tried to force me off the road and rightfully so, I think. But I think I handled that badly.
Any suggestions from any of you on how to handle that kind of situation? I'm lucky it was a bunch of girls instead of men. I doubt I would have been so bold if it had been. Maybe next time I should just whip out the phone and call the police. I don't know.
Gray

I absolutely would call the police. Take the license number and call the police.

Get their license plate number next time and if possible take a cell phone picture of them and/or their vehicle, then call the police and report them.
I doubt their parents will enjoy having a visit from the police.
What they did is harassment and also purposely putting you in real physical danger.

Maybe not the best response, but a perfectly reasonable one IMO. I agree with the other posters - next time, take a picture of their license and let them know you're contacting the police. That should be enough to put a halt to that behavior. They were WAY out of line. That stuff happens (it did to me last week - someone tried to run me into a curb, and the next car yelled out the passenger window for me to get on the sidewalk). We have to stand our ground....

I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of. They have everything to be ashamed of.

CA

I agree with the other two posts about calling the police. As far as I'm concerned, when a car tries to run you off the road, it's attempted vehicular manslaughter (ok- maybe it would be hard to prove, but 2000 lbs vs. 200 lbs seems like attempted murder to me).
Don't feel ashamed. Sometimes our raw human instinct takes control and we say and do things we might not otherwise do when we feel like we're in danger. You were standing up for yourself and trying to protect yourself against a potential threat. I think I would've reacted the same way. :o

I'm glad you're OK, tho. :)

when we are threatened and frightened, we sometimes react that way. Yes, it would have been better for you to just pull out your cellphone and dial 9-11 and report their license etc, they had already scared the cr@p out of you and you were reacting. So don't beat yourself up about it.
Same thing happened to my Dh a few months ago, only the jerk threatening him with a car, a car horn and verbal abuse was a police officer....
DH did Exactly what you did. He yelled and screamed back!
and got a ticket.

and then we went to court and the cop didn't show up and the case was dismissed.

I'm glad you're okay and I agree with the others: it may not have been the best thing, but don't feel guilty about it. Maybe all the good stuff you've thought about saying (after the fact, of course) will come in handy one day, although I really hope NOT.

I also agree about calling the police, taking pictures, whatever you can do. My husband had a similar thing happen to him last week and he had a little "conversation" rolling side by side with the male driver (who was accompanied by a woman passenger whom I'm sure was not too impressed by the driver by then). He told him that he had his license plate number and would call the police and the province's insurance corporation (they keep tabs and eventually increase your premiums if you look like you're a risky driver) right in if he didn't apologize... which, much to my surprise, the guy did (fumbling, but he did it).

Good luck and keep the rubber side down.

Bless your heart - I don’t blame you for getting mad and yelling back, but I would agree with the others, taking down the tag no. and reporting them is the best thing to do. Around here it is entirely too dangerous to yell back at bad drivers - there have been cases where guns were drawn and people shot at. Road rage can happen anytime, anywhere. And girls are just as bad (if not worse in some cases) than the boys when it comes to abusive language, etc. Take a deep breath and try and let it go - you reacted like anyone would have being threatened. Just make sure you get the info if it ever happens again and report it. Glad that you are o.k. and hope it doesn’t ruin your week. Take care.

Thanks everybody. I just don't like feeling like that and it's been a good long while since I've lost it quite like that. I am feeling much better and hope that I won't be having dreams tonight. When stuff like that happens I just get very panicky because I HAVE already been hit by a car while on my bike. It was years ago, but stuff like today just kind of brings it all back up. You all are amazing and thanks so much for the advice and compassion. I really appreciate it.
Gray
If it happens again, I'll make sure to note the license plate and whip out the phone.
Thanks again.

Your emotions are normal. I like the idea of not just taking a picture of the plate, but immediately emailing it to your home email address. The act of photographing someone will run risk of infuriating them, but having the ability to say "it's been emailed home as evidence and my husband knows to look there is anything happens to me" can have a sobering effect.

Finally, I confronted a similar issue a few months ago...and am trying to be prepared with humor to disarm situations like this:

http://forums.teamestrogen.com/showthread.php?t=23477

I would have pushed them and got their license number and then ended up in jail for assault:D... now that would be something to be ashamed of:eek:

... but honestly, I know how you feel. I have had to "zip" it many times when cars come to close... but sometimes you just get sick of it and yell back....

Don't feel bad. They're stupid "female dogs" who will die miserably from a sedentary lifestyle while you're 90 and still happily riding your bike :D

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Originally Posted by GraysonKelly

I was scared at the way they tried to force me off the road and rightfully so, I think. Gray

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Gray, I really have to hand it to you and the ladies here who commute in high traffic. I don't know if I would have the guts to ride where you ride.

I can certainly understand your response to them--especially after having an adrenaline rush. But my concern would be that by responding in kind to the driver only fuels the fire and they could possibly do you bodily harm with the vehicle or, God forbid, shoot you. People are just not patient anymore and they would rather bully their way through than to be courteous.

It's not fair and it's not right how you were treated, but you have to do whatever it takes to preserve life and limb. Get off the road (if possible), whip out that cell phone, get the license # and call the authorities.

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Originally Posted by Andrea

Don't feel bad. They're stupid "female dogs" who will die miserably from a sedentary lifestyle while you're 90 and still happily riding your bike :D

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great response!

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Originally Posted by Biciclista

great response!

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I have only had a couple of rude remarks yelled at me from cars, but it does help to remind yourself that you are doing something healthy and worthwhile and they are not. They are probably jealous because they do not have the guts to get out and ride a bike in traffic, but feel bold riding around in their cars being obnoxious. I am fortunate that our county has a lot of commuters/recreational riders on bikes and while drivers may get annoyed at them, they are very numerous and a fact of life. And with the gas situation continuing to be out of control, bikes will become the norm in a lot of areas. I have already seen quite an increase of cyclists in the last couple of months and our cities are putting in more bike lanes.

DH was riding home from the store, light turned green and he started to cross in the crosswalk where a guy had pulled up so far into the crosswalk that DH had to swerve around him. DH said some smart remark like "thanks for leaving me some room" and the guy shot back "maybe i oughtta just kick yer a$$" and DH said "yeh maybe you should." the guy started to get out of his car as DH started to lay his bike down right in the street. that was when the cop in his marked car RIGHT BEHIND them flashed his lights once and beeped his siren. it knocked some sense into both of 'em.
men . . .

Ugh...some people can be such anal orifices! Can't say I blame you for your reaction, but agree with those who have said the best and safest thing is to take down their license plate number and report it. I can relate to how you felt--haven't had anyone actually try to run me off the road but have certainly had stupid stuff yelled at me from cars. In fact, just a few days ago I was riding along a pretty busy road, on the outside of the right lane, and the passenger in a car in the LEFT lane yelled "watch out!" when there was absolutely nothing I needed to "watch out" for. It scared the heck out of me, and I wished I could ride faster to catch up with this jerk and give him a piece of my mind--what makes him think he has the right to do that; he wouldn't have said anything if I had been in my car instead of on a bike! I felt pretty agitated the rest of the ride, and was annoyed with myself for letting it get to me...

Last weekend I had just passed a stretch of road that I dread, because cars go way to fast and visibility is bad, and had reached a VERY WIDE road in a QUIET NEIGHBORHOOD. I was riding to the right and there was plenty of space for cars to pass me. As one did, someone shouted out of the window "get out of the road!" Seriously? I wanted to ask him where exactly he wanted me to go, but decided against it. I too worry that road rage will turn excessively violent, so I ignored the drivers as they easily passed me - luckily they didn't try to actually run me off the road. It does amaze me how ignorant of cyclists drivers can be.

Then there's the guy...

I was stopped at a stop sign where I had to get on Rt 4 near Woodstock, VT. i could see a car coming up the hill behind me, and I knew I could beat him through the intersection, so I went ahead and crossed the highway and got on the shoulder on the opposite side, and was pedaling slowly along the shoulder (still recovering from the hill that smote me).

The car behind me negotiated the stop sign and pulled up beside me. The old Vermonter rolled down the window and yelled, "You be AWWWful CAAAAHful out here on this road!"

Okay, I will.

"It's dangerous!" ...pause while still driving beside me... "You live around heaah?"

I'm just going up here to the campground.

"Oh, okay then!"

Thank you! I said.

The whole thing cracked me up. He was sweet, and doing me a favor. :)

Karen

Hi All,
I wanted to share this with you. The day after the "incident" with those girls, I was once again out on the road. I went a different route than the one I was on when the incident happened and was riding up a hill that I swear was straight up...I'm serious this thing was probably a 15% grade or more and I rode up it. There was no shoulder to speak of, cars were passing me carefully and patiently and when I got to the top, this guy coming from the opposite direction stops in the middle of the road, gives me a thumbs up and says, "Awesome job on that hill! You go girl! Be careful." That made me feel better than climbing the hill.
Gray

:D Will this be your regular route now? Glad that you encountered a nice motorist and a few words can go a long way....

A good driver after an unfortunate incident always helps me.

Last night I was out doing a loop I call the Dog Loop because there are a lot of loose dogs, which has no point to this story. :rolleyes:

Any way, we have had many incidents on this route: hit by a coke can, water bottle thrown, almost eaten by a pit bull and a firecracker thrown at us. But is a semi-challenging route on quiet roads, obviously littered with the pond scum of humans. So I am chugging along and a nice Ford F150 comes by VERY close. There were no other cars on the road and his actions were completely unwarranted. We have a 3 ft courtesy law but try telling that to anyone who drives in Texas. As I was still fuming at the lack of courtesy I came to a stop sign and got a "Hey!" but a friendly one. I look and see two teenagers sitting on the porch of this home that normally has semi-tall weeds, a disobedient mutt dog the likes to run into the road and flies a confederate flag waving in a friendly manner. I waved back and rode home, content that there are nice people. And to boot, several of those incidents have been with teenagers on this road and I generally classify all teens in my town as spoiled punks who need a spanking. It was nice to have two debunk my stereotype, maybe they have been raised right despite my intial impression of their home. :p

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Originally Posted by sundial

:D Will this be your regular route now? Glad that you encountered a nice motorist and a few words can go a long way....

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I'm not sure I could handle that hill every time I ride, but I'm sure I'll be adding it to my ever expanding list of favorite routes. You are very right, that guy was wonderful. I almost cried.
Gray