When I think about stuff like this, I realize my teeth have been clenched since November 8th and my favorite word has been azzhole. DH is still yelling at the TV, or any other news report he hears.
Printable View
When I think about stuff like this, I realize my teeth have been clenched since November 8th and my favorite word has been azzhole. DH is still yelling at the TV, or any other news report he hears.
Hello to all, Have been fighting the blues this week and wanted to say that logging in this morning and reading your posts just lifted my soul. Saw the musical "Beautiful" last night with my sister and she bought me the cd for my birthday so may just have to play it in the shop today :).
That's it. The sun is shining and I need to appreciate the small things.
So the other day I took a sick day from work -- had a couple of medical appointments and will lose some accrued sick time on Jan 1 so figured I might as well relax for a change. After the doctor I went shopping to look for Christmas gift ideas. Somehow I managed to mostly spend money on myself, but anyway. I saw these coasters and bought two to use on end tables in the living room. But this morning I decided I wanted to see it when I'm getting ready to face the world each morning, so I put one in the cheerful pink bathroom.
Attachment 18247
Attachment 18248
I love that, NY! Great sentiment, cute, and your bathroom is so pretty and serene. I would love to wake up to that too! :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sky King
:):):):):):):):):):)Quote:
Originally Posted by ny biker
thinking as we develop a caring voice we shouldn’t remain silentQuote:
Originally Posted by Pax
and of course….“When we protect ourselves so we won’t feel pain, that protection becomes like armour, like armour that imprisons the softness of the heart.” Pema
Well, I have to bear witness to the pain of those who are *really* affected by what is going on. I have a caring voice, my heart isn't hard, but I am just realistic. All the Zen sayings in the world doesn't change reality for those whose who aren't privileged in the way I am. They know I empathize and I will fight/stand up for them, but I am also old enough to remember 1968, 1970, the whole damn thing. I was marching on the Boston Common when I was 14. It was ugly and violent then and the world is uglier and violent now.
In my own life, there are plenty of things that make me happy and I could easily ignore it all. But, I can't and I won't. I guess I am not perfect and I have no problem admitting I am pissed about what is going on in the US.
I am pissed off too, and dismayed and disappointed. But I still have to get out of bed every morning and do well at my job and not be a crazy angry person all the time. I want to do what I can to support people who need help now more than ever but I can't do that if I can't function.
Here is something from Human Rights Watch and the Southern Poverty Law Center.
https://www.hrw.org/callitout
NY….i feel the same way.....and I’ve never found anger to take me anywhere positive. We are fortunate to have lots of non-profits and state/city programs here doing great work especially in the more disadvantaged areas. Alex and I have started to give even more time and money to the causes we have embraced. That helps us deal in a positive way with our concerns and replaces anger with the feelings of helping others, seeing the courage in people struggling, seeing the wholeness of others and the unique story each person has…..each with their own potential and dreams. For both of us it’s just about a compassionate way of living.
Thanks for the link….I like the callitout idea….when we turn away from someone being assailed because of their race, ethnicity, religion, gender or sexual orientation we become part of a larger moral problem.
I do that stuff everyday, Rebecca. I *work* for a non profit, it's a choice, when my peers from grad school have all started private practices. I just can't do it, as it eliminates a wide diversity in the people you serve.
I don't see why saying one is angry is a bad thing. I do all of the stuff you note, but I am still angry at what happened. Maybe upset is a better word? I am not clinically angry, there's no homicidal ideation going on in my mind, but I just fear what could happen. It would be easy for me to live in a bubble, considering where I live, but at the least it's made me even more outspoken than usual!
I have never been a quiet or outwardly calm person. Some of it's cultural, and some of it is my personality. I am very calm in emergency situations and in my work, but generally I subscribe to the "call it out" all of the time. This is how change happens.
I don't think it's bad to be angry or acknowledge that you are. I just try not to dwell on it. Because I do tend to dwell on it and it causes too many problems, internally for my health and externally in my dealings with others. I am both angry and terrified of what will happen in the next few years. But as I said, I need to find a way to function, and I don't see myself being useful to anyone if I can't push the anger and fear aside.
Yes, it's not in my consciousness every minute of the day. It was, the first few days after the election.
For me, anger transforms to action, sadness and fear does the opposite, I end up staying in the house and being a lump. So, for now, I'm pleased to be royally pissed off.
Yes, Pax, I often tell clients that a little anger can lead to motivation. It's when the anger grows out of proportion to the original issue or becomes permanently entrenched, that it starts to do damage to one's body. I never get the kind of sad you are describing, but I understand it. From where I sit, a lot of prolonged anger leads to sadness and isolation. When I said I was angry, I didn't think some would take it to mean something other than I meant. Sometimes, you need to be angry, to see a solution or another path. Or motivated. It's all what you do with it. But to deny it, even in a cursory way is not part of my DNA. Maybe I am overreacting, so I am going to close my thoughts on this now!
I interpret Crankin's concerns as just that and nothing else.
Problem with such prominent political leader like Trump about to head one of the world's most powerful country (China is becoming powerful too, in many different ways), is that it simply emboldens others world-wide what they might have been afraid to say....that immigrants who aren't Christian-hetero, don't look like themselves, etc. are lesser / the less desirable "other" in the order of society.
Here's a female Canadian political delegate for the Conservative party: http://www.macleans.ca/politics/otta...trump-victory/
In the province of Alberta where I live, unemployment has climbed to 9% highest since 1994, due to faltering oil and gas economy which is our province is (wrongfully) too dependent. Now, there's sentiment that is getting all muddled with more anti-immigrant, and simply angry, etc.
Be careful for what you ask! I wonder how this will translate to Trumpster? and how will it manifest? I dunno.
Anyway, I was tired and hating my engineering job toward the end then I got laid off just over 6 years ago. Hip hip hurray!! Well I'm doing what I like now ??? Work with my hands and growing veggies. Work outside, enjoy sunshine, enjoy nature. I sling shot past the dedicated gardener to being a full time farmer. There are pluses and there are well... not so fun stuff.
My partner decided she wanted more chickens so even though I swore not to build another thing for the chicken, I'm out there building another coop. 8 feet wide, 16 feet deep with 8 feet high walls and a gable roof. It's been raining for about a week with temp in mid 30's. Today it was snowing with temp around 30F. My joints are achy, coughing up a storm... I guess it caught up with me. I still need to nail in half a dozen ceiling joist, all the rafters, barge plates, fascia, plywood/sheathing for the roof. And to meet code, I need to install hurricane ties for each rafters...(no I don't need to have it inspected but...) Once the roof is done, I can start sheating the exterior walls.
blah!!
I haven't winterized my meyer lemon trees in the field nor fixed up a heater and a blower for one of the green house. At dusk today, I managed to get frost cover over several 100' rows of leeks, green onions/scallions, lettuce, tat-tsoi, chard, spinach, carrots... They are snow covered. I hope the snow will keep the leaves from freezing hard. And I hope my pepper plants in the greenhouse can survive the 30F temp over next two nights.
I feel utterly defeated. Again, so far behind the 8-ball. Trumpster is least of my concerns right now. Not even the crazy alt-recht flying the confederate flag down the street.
Tomorrow, I see my chiro to uncorkscrew my back and straighten me out. Silver lining in the whole thing I guess. :)
Brighter side of things, yipee!! furnace in our house finally got replaced today and we have heat in our house!! WOW!! SO NICE! We've been out since Thanksgiving morning.
Smilingcat, your post reminds me of all my farmer friends, work that always needs to be done, never enough hours in the day. I think the old timers were on to something when they had huge numbers of children... free labor!
Congrats on having heat, it's the little things that make life a bit easier.
I know it doesn't help get the work done, but I am in awe of everything you do, Smilingcat. I hope the chiro and the warm air make things easier for you.
Another good product that I have used for years has been discontinued. Almay Line Smoothing liquid makeup -- I use it to even out the brown blotches (age spots) and blemishes on my face and make the pores less noticeable. The ivory color is a good match for my Irish-German complexion and it does not cake up in wrinkles and creases. So of course due to "trends" they don't make it anymore. So what to use instead? Almay has a new foundation with "age" in the name but as near as I can tell it's just regular makeup. I tried Revlon Age Defying and it's awful. The lightest shade is too dark and it made the pores look so big that my face looked like a damn golf ball. My next option, if I can find the lightest shade in a store around here, is to try the Cover Girl "age" makeup that Ellen DeGeneres advertises (I can't remember the exact name, they all sound alike). Unless -- can anyone suggest makeup that works reasonably well on older skin? I tend to stick with drugstore brands because I'm not made of money and I don't want to deal with salespeople in department stores trying to sell me lots of products that I'm probably allergic to, but I would try something more expensive if I had reason to believe it actually works.
I am of no help ny biker but I do hear you. For a bit I used nerium lotion - great for the wrinkles but not the pocketbook. I am not a face makeup person - feel like I am smothering. My DD really likes the the mineral powder from Arbonne. (for me I am an arbonne protein powder junkie) if you know an Arbonne sales person maybe a sample (I bet mine would hook you up)
I haven't used foundation in close to 30 years.... I would caution, though, against mineral based make up if you are over 50, as it shows every nook and cranny.
Make up is one thing I pay for. I've changed brands over the years, right now I'm using Bobbi Brown. My cousin works for them, at Bloomies, and is always happy to give me free advice. Before that, I used Paula Dorf.
However, I use Neutrogena cleanser I buy at CVS and Clinique skin/eye cream, which I buy from Amazon.
I used to use liquid foundation back when I worked and wore makeup daily. I used a Revlon moisturizing foundation but can't recall exactly what it was called. Now I rarely wear any makeup other than tinted lip balm, but when I do get dressed up a bit to go out to dinner, I use Maybelline Dream Smooth Mousse. It helps cover my age/sunspots and evens out my complexion. I like that it is a cream formula applied with a sponge, as it gives sheerer coverage and allows me more control when applying.
I agree with Crankin about the mineral makeup. I bought some a couple of years ago and need to throw it out. It really does accentuate the lines.
I wish I could not bother with makeup, because I'm lazy, and some days when I have to leave early for work I don't have time for it. But my face is really starting to look old and some makeup seems to help with that. (The bags under my eyes are especially bad. Depressing.)
I found some reviews for a Bare Skin liquid foundation from Bare Minerals that say it's good on older skin. But maybe it's not? Or is just mineral powder that's a problem? Meanwhile, reviews of the Cover Girl foundation I was going to try say it is scented. WHY IS THIS NECESSARY? Really, Proctor and Gamble, stop adding stupid scents to products that do not need them. Anyway that's now the absolute last thing I will try. I looked at something from Maybelline in the store last night and their lightest shade is not light enough for my snow white skin. But it was not a mousse, so I will look for that product.
But first I think I will try a tinted moisturizer. Neutrogena has one that gets good reviews, and I'm already using a similar moisturizer from them which I like.
Meanwhile I complained to Revlon on their website and they sent me a coupon in the mail for $10. Props to them for getting it to me so quickly. Not sure what I'll spend it on, but I can probably find something.
Guess I'm lucky, first, I have a lot of color in my face (my mom looked albino), red lips/dark brows/pink cheeks; so I never bothered to learn about makeup in high school. Then start doing nontraditional jobs where I couldn't wear it, and now I just don't care enough to bother. I think I look fine, my beloved thinks I look fine, so it's all good.
I've always worn makeup, but nothing that looks overdone... my skin is fair and I have freckles. And horrible nasolabial fold lines. Oher than those, not so many wrinkles. I need some color on my cheeks. If I do that with either bronzer or blush, all I need is concealer under my eyes, which always looks reddish. I am addicted to lipstick, though. Mostly neutral colors, but I really like changing up the shades. I do wear eye shadow and mascara in neutral shades for work days and when I go out.
Both of my parents had darker, more olive skin than me. But, my dad had blue eyes, as do I, and both of his parents were fair.
I gave up on makeup about 6 yrs. ago. So I am barefaced at the office where I work with lots of men and women. Yes, I do have some age spots, etc. on face. I am like this even wearing more formal suits, dresses and dress shoes/heels.
I don't want makeup accentuating the lines even more. I don't want to worry about make-up and running the washroom just because of that.
THis article talks about minimalism fashion http://vancouversun.com/life/fashion...nimalist-style Well, honest my style isn't that plain all the time. But the philosophy of non-patterns, for me, jewel/deep rich colours against black (not near the face), crème, white and good fitting clothing with fabrics that will last. It doesn't have to be expensive, because I tend to be mid-price or cheaper.
I got excited several wks. ago when buying several pairs of tights that were only $15.00CAN each, to do light cycling around town. These weren't padded. I really didn't want to invest $80.00 for pair of tights again when I already have some in that price bracket for longer bike trips.
I've bought 2 business/fashion tops and 2 GAP pair of dark jeans (different shades) this year which are all intended to last me 3-5 yrs. minimum. It probably costed me in total around $300.00. THis is what I look for in style (classic), quality and colour as time marches along. This is my typical office attire: black jeans and deep purple turtleneck. 8 yr. old pair of patent leather black low dress shoes. I work in govn't and don't meet members of the public. Part of me is trying to drag my butt to put on career upward mobile clothing.....I went through that stage for about 15 years. for several employers.
There's a huge part of me now, that just wants to focus on who I am at work...the best part of me. But in the career game, it's how you look, etc. also. Competence doesn't always mean being picked for that.
I think aging and style is handled differently for women of different heights and ethnicity. I was chatting with a Filipino woman at work who is 4'11" who is in her late 30's and petite build also. Much younger than I. However we both agreed that we continue to wear skirts above our knees....because being short (I'm 5' 1"), long skirts on petite women as they age, looks a lot less flattering. And clothing for small, petite women should be more fitted to flatter, not to drown them in miles of fabric where they get "lost". To me it's not inappropriate for me to wear skirts 2 inches above my knee... maybe I've been a cyclist too long in my mentality. I've lost my self-consciousness about my legs... ages ago.:)
I totally agree, Shooting Star. Longer skirts and dresses make me look dowdy. I am a hair over five feet now (I shrunk). A lot of women around here wear that "big" clothing look. It's a certain professorial/Cambridge/Harvard Square look that I abhor. I look better in fitted clothing.
My style is kind of minimalist, too. Maybe not quite as much as yours, but almost. I buy all of my clothes at Banana Republic, the Gap, or Ann Taylor, with occasional J Crew. I guess I haven't strayed far from my preppie roots. But these are the only stores that have things that fit me. I work 3.5 days a week and I'd say on 2 of those days, I wear a dress or skirt, some more dressy than others. But, I don't have to impress anyone. One day last week a client told me I looked like I was going skiing, as I was wearing leggings and a cozy long sweater!
And, good make up does not make you look older. I don't have to run to fix any of it, except re-apply lipstick.
Hopefully she still thinks of you as a good counsellor. No, I don't think wearing leggings at work would be great idea for me ..unless I forget my dress slacks when I biked to work. :p Once, a year, I forget a garment when I cycle to work..Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankin
I totally agree about shorter skirts for we height-challenged gals! I only wear very casual skirts/dresses now (and infrequently) as I am retired, but they are all above the knee. I always envied the tall gals who could wear the really long skirts (I'm talking floor length, not mid-calf, which never looked good on anyone, did they?), but that would just be way too much skirt for me!
As for makeup, I definitely think I look better with it, but you do have to use a much lighter hand once you reach a certain age, than back in your 20s-30s. I used to love makeup and spend lots of money on it, not buying expensive stuff but just lots and lots of drugstore stuff. Now I have a tiny collection and only wear it on special occasions. But I always, always wear lip color (sheer and glossy, usually Burt's Bees) or I look totally washed out and like an old lady. NOT my favorite look! :D
That's how I feel, Emily, so at least I know I am not crazy! A few times I forgotten my lipstick at work and it drives me nuts. I have even gone so far as to go to a drugstore and buy lipgloss to get me through the day.
Shooting Star, I don't think my client's comment was meant to disparage my professional skills... most of the therapists dress business casual, a lot of them wear jeans with nice tops, and I am definitely not the only one to wear leggings. I think she commented because I usually am wearing a dress on the day she sees me.
Feeling comfortable with no makeup ftw!!!...and interesting read in your minimalism link. I also like simple, comfortable, quality clothing that has a timeless look and is well made for longevity. I’m a fan of Jil Sander especially.Quote:
Originally Posted by shootingstar
I use non-comedogenic makeup and mostly a 'no makeup look' regimen when I feel like it….and no makeup when I feel like that.
I think it’s more important to; take care of my skin with diet…lots of antioxidants, omega-3, good saturated fats etc etc…..and of course cocoa :) which contains epicatchin and catechin which protects skin from sun damage and improves circulation to skin cells….the use of a gentle cleanser, nontoxic moisturizers and nontoxic sunscreen daily….getting a therapeutic facial at least once a month and simply staying hydrated and getting enough sleep among other things. Thinking my skin is going to age no matter what but helping it in ways that can make it happen in way that I know I’ve cared well for it is enough for me. I don’t buy into what my mother, who taught me good skin care, calls the ‘hope in a jar’ that some older women can feel the need for. We age and I think that has a unique beauty to it in itself and more important to me is how well I develop my mind and character as i grow older.
At age 62, I walk a fine line between no makeup and too much. I need a little but overdone is definitely bad. For foundation, I use a tinted sunscreen. Eye makeup must be very light, otherwise it looks hard. I do find myself skipping the makeup routine more often...
I'm 5'7" and I also look for skirts that fall just at the knee, though I have a couple of summer dresses that are a bit shorter. Below the knee looks dowdy on me too! Years ago I had lots of long flowy floral skirts with flowy tops to wear with them, because most of the women at the small company I worked for dressed like that. But that job ended up being miserable and I was glad to leave it. Then one day I was watching Stacy and Clinton on What Not to Wear, telling a short woman to get rid of all her floor-length skirts. And I thought yes! Even at my height they don't look good! And I ran to my closet, took them all off the hangers and put them into a bag, and donated them to Good Will.
I generally buy most of my clothes at JJill. At one point I was in their store so often that the women who worked there recognized me. Some of their clothes are too shapeless for my taste, but I'm able to find more than enough things that I like that fit well. I own a ridiculous amount of clothes, especially sweaters. This is something I inherited from my mother. I do tend to wear most of it though. I go through phases of certain things being my favorite, but then I'll see something I haven't worn in a while and start wearing it again.
Somewhat related to cosmetics -- I just started getting the local newspaper delivered on Sunday. Yesterday I was going through all the coupons and sale papers. There was one from Macy's that was all about sales on perfumes, and many of the pages had those scented panels. And they were all awful! Just chemicals, not at all something I would want to spray on myself. But I've always felt this way about perfumes. There are a few men's colognes that I think are pleasant but most women's scents are terrible.
Agreed. Some of it smells like bug spray.:eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by ny biker
Taking a day off from work to try to deal with the long pre-holiday to-do list. Trying to print a few copies of a photo so I can put them in a frame to give as gifts. The HP printer can't seem to deal with the 5x7 HP photo card paper, it thinks there's no paper there unless I move it over so that it's not centered right for printing. And then the ink smudges off the paper all over my hands and soap and water won't wash it off.
So let's add "buy 8x10 photo paper" to the long pre-holiday to-do list.
HO HO HO
Ha, ha.
I always feel like I am on the outside, watching the whole world go crazy. Since I started in my new career, the amount of holiday hoopla in my life has decreased considerably. We always shop locally for our kids' Chanukah presents, as well as for the one couple we exchange gifts with. Since my younger son is here from CA this week, we gave them their gifts Sunday, and they seemed to go over well. The babies liked their rattles and bears...
My only conundrum is since the first night of Chanukah is on Christmas Eve, we haven't scheduled our annual Chinese food dinner. So, I have to figure out if my son will come over, or we should go out. Our friends who moved to western MA will be coming later on Christmas day, after visiting with an older professor of his who is in ill health. We will have dinner and they will spend the night, which will be fun, since there is no work on the 26th.
Pic of me and the 2 granddaughters.
Adorable photo, Crankin. They are so beautiful! I know you are a very proud grandma!
Beautiful photo, thanks Crankin.
(I printed mp pictures on the new photo paper, put them in frames and wrapped them. I did get a lot done today but feel like there's lots more to do, mostly because packing for a long winter trip always takes about 5 times longer than I think. Bulky clothes and boots, and having to be prepared for unexpected winter weather always means lots of luggage.)
the babies look similar..though from different parents, Crankin. How fun and wonderful!
They look similar the way my sons, do, despite having outwardly different traits. One is blonde and blue eyed (thanks to her mom) and the other is very brunette with either brown or dark hazel eyes. But, they have the same shape heads and the same big ears both my kids had. They grew into the ears. My yonger son and his wife were blondes when they were young. The other one is an exact replica of her dad.