Dear sports shop managers,
No bloody wonder no-one buys top-of-the-range womens' cycling gear when no sports shop stock them! :mad:
Now get me that Giro Athmos in size T (tiny), you good-for-nothing sod! I want it in black. Please.
Excuse my French.
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Dear sports shop managers,
No bloody wonder no-one buys top-of-the-range womens' cycling gear when no sports shop stock them! :mad:
Now get me that Giro Athmos in size T (tiny), you good-for-nothing sod! I want it in black. Please.
Excuse my French.
((((salsa))
Trigress...oh my..I hope they get the item you want! :eek:
Nice to see you round here!
Dear Maria in Washington, D.C.
I found your wallet on the floor this morning at the Glenmont Metro station.
I tried to find a way to contact you, (Google, Universal White Pages...no old fashioned phone book in our office <<sigh>>), but could not.
So, in the end, I called the issuing bank for your debit card and asked them to get in touch with you and let you know that your stuff was found, was safe, and would be returned to you. And then I went to the Post Office and I mailed it to you at the address on the i.d. card.
I hope you get it. I know I'd be frantic in your position.
Dear Poppa,
I just want you to know how much I'm going to miss our Easter Bunny phone call this Sunday.
I love you,
Me
{{{{QUEEN}}}}
((((Salsa))))
I would never write my father on here; he never touched a real computer!
It's so strange to think about it; but he was already touched enough by alzheimers when people started getting computers that they might as well have been aliens to him. Sometimes I think of how strange this is, what he must think of a whole world being run by computers (and us all on them) when he hasn't the slightest idea of what they are for or how to use them!
Thanks 7rider for being a wonderful, honest person. When I lost my wallet, the crooks were charging up a storm within 30 minutes....Quote:
Originally Posted by 7rider
Dear Andy: It's a pleasure to serve on this committee with you, but I would prefer it if you would get my name right. During the course of today's conference call, you called me Katherine and Kristen. My name is Kate. I've signed every email to you as "Kate." Everyone else during the call referred to me as Kate. How have you not picked up on this?
Keep in mind that I work for the court in which you practice in so it might be in your professional interest to get my name right. I'm just saying.....
Thank you.
Kate
Dear (Male) Student with the gold lame stretch tights and red velvet cape,
I know this is an art school, but, ew.
Signed,
Even though I'm liberal, I'll always be conservative to you...
~Anon Staffperson
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
Do you think he'll look back on himself ten years from now and think " I thought I was so cool. What an idiot I was"
I wonder where you go to buy gold lame tights? Not that I'm looking for any, just wonderin'.
Is this just a "special occasion" get up or a daily outfit? Oh my; that's just awful!Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoiis
Dear self,
Good job running over the Silca Super Pista pump this morning with your truck.
Love,
Me
Dear love,
Thanks for not freaking out on me when I told you that I ran over the pump.
Love,
Me
LMAOQuote:
Originally Posted by indigoiis
I'm remembering an English seminar in the dim reaches of time. The professor came to class wearing a bright yellow suit, and a tie, I don't remember the color, but even louder than the suit.
Halfway into the class, a student stumbles in, bleary-eyed, bed-headed before that was the fashion, and still wearing his purple pajamas.
Without missing a beat, the professor looks at him and says, "I didn't think anyone was going to upstage me today."
Careful....your daughter could bring him home someday :eek:;)Quote:
Originally Posted by indigoiis
last thursday 1 p.m. - its a gorgeous sunny day, mid 80's - it's my friday, and i'm looking forward to the 3-day easter weekend. decided to drive in to work today. i move the miata out of the garage to the driveway, with the top down as always. just enough time to eat lunch, and pack up to go to work.
dude, why did you feel you had the right to steal my radio right out of my car, right in my own driveway, just rip it out and break the console cover in the process?? why dont you get a job, bu++he@d?
p.s. loser - you ignored the $300 shimano wheel and new $50 continental tire in the passenger seat to steal a $150 radio
p.p.s. you left your can of budweiser in my driveway
Pink Bike, that stinks! Probably some lazy kid looking for a fast buck at the Pawn Shop. :mad: :mad:
Dear Plumber:
Did you have to leave a (used) condom?! in my driveway and coffee cups all over my condo before telling me you couldn't fix the problem with the tub? Thankfully, we're doing a cash offset and still closing (so far) despite your incompetence. You're almost as bad as the first plumber who cut a hole in the ceiling of *another floor* of the house.
Dear home warranty company:
Rough finishing a hole that was cut in the wrong floor of my house (with your authorization, but not mine) by an unlicensed plumber is NOT sufficient.
--A disgruntled homeowner who never wants to have a home warranty again
Dear real estate agent:
Did you have to give the plumber the lock box code? Couldn't you have checked to see if the condo was locked after he was done? I *was not* happy to get there last night to pack, only to discover that the door had been open, with the key in it ALL DAY.
--CA
Dear Stupid Kid and even dumber Mom on levee path last night,
Yes the path is there for everyone... BUT, playing chicken with an oncoming cyclist isn't smart. I saw you walk off the path as I was heading towards you, but then jumping in front of me with your hands on your hips staring me down, daring me to hit you rated more than just getting yelled at by your mom. Mom, when your kid does that, grab his arm and yank him off to the side. I will do my best to avoid walkers on the path, 'cause I know it's there for everyone except motorized things, but if you stand in front of me in a "superhero stance" you need to be hit by someone!
Dear Mom,
Thank you for pointing out that I am already getting wrinkles just a few months before my 27th birthday. I use sunscreen and moisturizer religiously. Don't forget, you adopted me, so I don't have the "awesome skin" genetics that you, your mother, and her mother have(had) that allow you to look half your age at any point in life when your only idea of skincare is an evening smearing of Vaseline on your face followed by wiping it with a tissue to take your makeup off.
Just for that, when my hair has made its full conversion to gray (which has already begun and should only take another couple of years), I'm going to let the black dye grow out so everyone will know that you and your mother both color your hair (as if it isn't already obvious that 63 and 84 year old women with dark brown hair aren't natural).
Andrea
Well, Andrea, aren't you glad you didn't inherit the hyper-critical snarky gene? :D
She's just jealous of your youth and beauty, dear. Let it slide.
Karen
aaah - and that's so unfair that women with wrinkles "look old", while men with wrinkles look "dignified" or "patrician" or "have character".
I've seen my mother age. I've resigned to getting lots of wrinkles, all over. (I'm just going to be a bit more careful in the sun than she's been.) And now that I've seen women my age overdo it the Botox and lose all facial mimicry :eek: I truly don't want an unwrinkled face anymore.
Dear Lord,
If you won't make me skinny, would you please make my friends fat?
Dear 20-something male driver,
Could you please not drive 3 inches away from my bumper as we're hurtling at 65mph down the freeway? I have my babies in the car, and would like for them to reach adulthood. You, I don't care so much about...if you want to risk your life like that, leave me and my family out of it.
Dear the guy in the white truck on the road two nights ago,
Next time you want to drive drunk (yes I saw you driving as if you were playing pinball...hit the center line, drift and hit the fog line, drift and hit the center line, drift and hit the fog line...and yes I was the one you cut off as you swung out into traffic as you left the bar), see the above message. I don't care so much about your safety, but how dare you put MINE in jeopardy!! LOSER!
Dear mother in law,
Would you please JUST BE NICE????? Just once in your life? Can't you see that your darling baby boy and I have been married for almost 20 years and and HE'S HAPPY!!! Why don't you keep your judgemental b*lls^%@ to yourself you jealous meanspirited hateful spiteful miserable creature. If I want your opinion I'll ask for it. Otherwise shut it.
OMG that felt GOOD. Really really good.
But then there is the whole hair issue. Men's hair migrates as they age. I no long have any hair on my calves and the bald spot is getting just a little bigger as I age. I'm basically ok with that.Quote:
Originally Posted by lph
However, whyinthehell did it have to move to my shoulders, back, ears and nose? Not just the nostril hair but hair growing on the outside of my nose. My arm hair now goes half way up the back of my hand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by boy in a kilt
I'd love it if the hair on the front of my legs would disappear as well...:rolleyes:
Oh yeah, and that pesky mustache that I seem to have developed & have to keep bleaching.....:mad:
What about those stupid chin hairs????Quote:
Originally Posted by IFjane
What's up with that?????
You guys are scaring me :eek:
I wouldn't mind it if ALL the hair on my legs (or calves at least) would disappear. But no. It's just the outside of my calves and the shins.Quote:
Originally Posted by IFjane
And then there is the rest of the Darwin sweater...
Who was it that used to do the comedy routine about zits migrating as we age? They retire and move South to a place where there's a full moon and a nice breeze...
Dear Passport,
thank you for showing yourself..YAY!!!
now if i can just figure out if my passport is valid in the US with all the new passport regulations..I think so..
Quote:
Originally Posted by boy in a kilt
I did not realize that it was a migration issue for men. Thanks for the laugh!
Dear self,
You can stop eating two lunches and 2 dinners a day right NOW.
Thank you.
Me
I shave mine every couple days. In the shower. With the same razor I use on my armpits and legs.Quote:
Originally Posted by IFjane
Ooooh, having some fun now... :p
Dear body,
How did you get so sick so fast? Do you think you could see your way to getting better that quickly, too? Because, you know, I like to breathe without pain.
Thanks,
Me.
Dear Lady,
Thank-you for the many blessings that you have bestowed upon me and my family. A special thank-you for your most recent one. I shall honor you by sharing your gifts.
Dear oil company,
Screw you, I'm riding my bike :cool:
Dear So and So
I am part of an all-volunteer association/club. Some of us have jobs.
The person who is in charge of the website has repeatedly written over other people's files. To fix that problem, we put all of her (our club's) files in a protected directory and changed the password for all t he rest.
Since I am related to this person, when she couldn't find her original files i went to her house and set her up with a specific directory for these files and I even set up her FTP program so she would be going to the right place each time.
Today she asked me to send her a link to the website! I suggested she google it. She said she already had (it's right there for the world to see) and would i send her the link.
So back to the all-volunteer thing. If she doesn't do it, i'm not sure anyone else in the club can or will besides me, and I already have 2 1/2 other jobs relating to this club.
this person is my mother. This issue (of her appearing to be totally clueless or just losing it) is really wearing on our relationship, as is the fact that i have to help her do it all... (She's the one who volunteered!)
I don't know what to do.
aaaaahhhh. I don't even know where to start.
Dear Me:
Nice job on patching things up. I still don't know what the bleep happened but you did good.
Dear Powers that Be:
Would you please stop swinging me these blind ones? I'm getting dizzy.
Dear Loudmouth-of-my-acquaintance:
Chill. Please.
Dear So and So
I fired my mother. Then the prez of the club tells me it was the right thing to do. So why didn't SHE do it?
Sigh...
Dear Brain,
Would you stop the message that says there's an iron spike running through from above my right eye and scraping the back of my skull above the ocpitals? I checked the mirror, there isn't anything there. Please stop sending these false danger messages.
I've stayed hydrated, ate right. I hate you right now. And no, you can't have a cool dark room with a soft pillow just yet. :mad:
Dear Shopper or purchaser to all large box stores:
I am sick of trying to find clothing or anything that is decent to wear that WILL LAST that is not paper thin and is extremely over priced. I guess I voted with my pocketbook because I did not not purchase anything that fell into this category.
Perhaps my only choices for shopping will be LL Bean, REI and other stores like this. HELP!
Red Rock