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...remember that you are not terminally ill yourself. What kind of health legacy this eating spree is going to leave you with when he passes on? Maybe it feels selfish to be thinking about your own health and longevity at a time when his is basically done. If you do start successfully losing weight and you're lookin' good, how is he going to feel as he contemplates the potential reality that you may very well meet someone and remarry after he is gone? Could he be subconsciously sabotaging your efforts now because of jealousy? I'm sure some of the mourning process also may include a touch of self-destructive behavior.
Some things I'll need to think on...I don't think he feels this way consciously, but you could be right, subconsciously. Thanks for your .04 :)