Apparently, my in-laws have now "relented" and have agreed to go to the antique mall. I look forward to being held responsible if they don't enjoy it. I'm going to try not to take it personally. What I've learned over the last couple of years is that there is no pleasing them. Even when they do exaclty what they want to do, they don't appear to enjoy themselves. For our last visit, we met them in Nashville, Indiana on a weekend when we were camping/mtbing at a nearby park. They drove 2 1/2 hours and spent 2 hours with us before heading back. After they left, I said to DH: "I feel bad; they didn't seem to be having any fun." To which he replied: "When do they ever seem to have fun?" Good point.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pax
I get all worked up when I have to spend time with them, in part because their attitude about life just thoroughly depresses me. While they do have some health issues, they act like they're a good 10-15 years older than they are (MIL is in her late 60s; FIL is in his early 70s). They don't do much with their time and certainly little out of the ordinary. They have no outside living area at their home, so they mostly just sit in a dimly lit room all day. For fun, they might go to Subway for lunch and then to Walmart. My FIL, in particular, worries about everything and never relaxes. He has to be in control of every little thing. Every. Little. Thing. It's maddening.
In that regard, he and I have butted heads a few times already. His only son--my husband--is a pretty laid back guy. I think he mostly just tunes him out and does what he wants. His wife is mostly passive. I, however, am not. I like boundaries. I like to be treated like the 42 year-old adult that I am. His son is younger than me by more than a few years, and I don't know that either of his parents were quite prepared for him to marry an older woman with an established home and successful career. I've tried to cut them slack, but when push comes to shove, I'm not afraid to assert myself or ask that he back off. I'd like to think that we're past the worst of that, but it's taken a toll on our relationship all the same.
Anyway, I struggle with all of this. My own parents are very challenging, too. I have to admit that I had hoped to marry into a more functional family than my own. While I wouldn't go so far as to say that my in-laws are bad people or bad parents, they aren't exactly enjoyable or wholly emotionally healthy either. Admittedly, I have my own flaws, too, and I need to be more forgiving of them and kinder. I can be inflexible in my own way. So, lots of important stuff to work on......
