ROTFL!Quote:
Originally Posted by DebW
:D :D :D :D :D
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ROTFL!Quote:
Originally Posted by DebW
:D :D :D :D :D
Okay, I gotta get in on this thread...
Dear Rude Patient,
Thank you for throwing the cup of grape juice at my head! Very original, as the guy in the room next door just cursed. Please keep in mind that i'm here to HELP you, to assist your doctors in finding out what is wrong and to treat you, so you can get back out there in public and throw stuff at other people. If you don't want to get better, then please go back home, so the car accident victim can have a room now.
Sincerely,
Your friendly "Wake Up Call".
Dear Plastic Packaging Manufacturer,
I know you are so proud of yourselves when you make those nifty almost-hard plastic containers for whatever-it-is-I-need. You must be thrilled when you realize that your newest creation is as safe as Fort Knox. You may impress yourselves, but I, for one, am NOT IMPRESSED! I have ruined scissors, box cutters, knives, chisels, screw drivers, chain saws (ok, not chain saws)......and cut my fingers, hands, wrists and legs......and gouged furniture, floors and cabinets trying to get into the darn things!
Today I went to Bed Bath & Beyond to pick up some of those plastic "dryer balls" on the advice of a co-worker. There are wet clothes sitting in the washer and I can't get the stupid balls out of the package!!!
By the way....the package says, "The Natural Way to Soften Fabrics"......ok, correct me if I'm wrong, but these things are not only encased in plastic, but are MADE OF PLASTIC. Since when is plastic NATURAL?
Love & kisses, Jane
Dear recycling coordinator--
In what strange universe does it make sense to you to provide thousands of employees with individual plastic recycling bins for office paper when we had perfectly fine cardboard recycling bins already? Do you not get that plastic is here forever? And it takes energy and petrochemicals to produce that plastic? (And no, it doesn't make it all right just because some of the plastic is "post consumer".) And to do it in the name of Earth Day no less!
Sincerely,
A very discouraged employee of the agency whose mission is "protecting human health and the environment"
Quote:
Originally Posted by divingbiker
I know! You work for Exxon??? :eek:
EPA?
Dear mail-order clothing company (not TE)....
What posesses you to ship me one little soft t-shirt in a plastic bag, packaged inside a huge cardboard box FILLED with a ton of styrofoam peanuts!!!!!?????? :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad:
What on earth are you thinking??????? That the t-shirt might BREAK????
Dear employee who answered my stern emailed complaint- please do as you said you would and pass my complaint to the Bosses.
Dear WEATHER:
If you simply HAD to kick up a fuss and create a tornado warning that had to be broadcast for the entire Dallas/Fort Worth area, couldn't you have had the common decency to wait until AFTER HOUSE WAS OVER?
To play with us this way, and play nice until the LAST TEN MINUTES and THEN lower the boom?
Not polite. Not polite at all.
Now that you've had your fun and interrupted my favorite show by wiping out the entire ending, could you just be satisfied with that and forget about actually making a tornado?
Thank you.
Grrr.
Dear Fate:
Thanks for letting me rock that chem midterm. I NEVER have been the second one to finish an exam before- usually I am in the back frantically making up the answers until the very last second! As for the only other student who finished before me, thanks for making him 1.) Very Attractive and 2.) My lab partner.
Also, thanks for convincing my supervisor to lay off the hours this week. Hopefully, after my crazy schedule of midterms and whatnot, Knotted won't have to slap me awake when I show up for my volunteer shift at her work. (Which sounds like quite the dramatic place lately!).
Dear chick at work:
my "What I'd tell you if you promised not to get mad"... I'm sorry you're still single. I think it's because you're very defensive. So afraid to look 'desperate' that maybe you fail to look interested enough? So needful of commitment (but fearful of looking like it) you give this vibe of only really wanting mr. 'right now'.
I wish I knew a nice, single guy to introduce you to, but to be honest, I think the dark shadows and phantoms in your past haunt your present in a catch-22 way. You need love and comfort to rise above them, but they cause you to chase away prospects. *sigh* *hug*
Dear Webster's:
You define "Humane" as 1 : marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals
2 : characterized by or tending to broad humanistic culture : HUMANISTIC
yet in so much of life, I have never seen a more hateful and dark creature than the human. A cat will maul something to death in play, but it will not spitefully sneer, maim and mark for life, then feel better about itself for it.
the capacity that distinguishes humans has come down to something Augustine identified 1,600 years ago when he asked what "can be the purport of the injunction, know thyself? I suppose it is that the mind should reflect upon itself."
Perhaps it is our self-realization, the ability of the human to be introspective, that is the key to our internal darknesses and cruelties? Why then the mocking word 'humane'? What creature could be so cruel to a human besides another of his species?
Dear Pixies:
Where is my mind?
Dear rude Army Gateguard,
Why must you insist on giving the 2 worst options in traffic, to stop and show you my ID. Instead of allowing me to stop in line with the cars, you make me pull to the right. Then re negotiate through the early morning darkness over a quick 4 lanes to make the left. I ask you this all the time and you say it is safer. WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW... It is not...Dumb A$%.urrgghh
Or go past my turn to the cross walk and walk across 2 streets and out of the way then renegotiate myself back through traffic on a rocky road.
Well Mr. hypertensive, teeth missing, smoker guy. Hope you live long with all that.....uuggghh.
I wonder do you have janitorial staff. stayed at a hotel where the janitorial staff let me lock my bike up in the basement on the level that says "no guests" cause they treat people like crap down there. They usually know all the hiding spots, and hate managers so they never tell..Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitsune06
Dear MS 150 team leader,
Next time you hear a rumor that I will not be riding the MS 150, please ASK ME FIRST if it is true. Please do NOT take it upon yourself to contact the director of the local MS society to ask what to do with the money I have raised. Instead, check with me because I INTEND TO RIDE EVERY frickin' INCH of the ride!!!
sheesh!!!:mad: :mad:
Dear Hurting Friend,
I know you are going through a hard time -- loss of spouse via divorce, loss of house via moving, loss of money (see other two losses) --can all be devastating. In your time of need, you called me and I have tried to be loving, patient, and concerned during your turmoil. Not once I have spoken of me or anything going on in my life, knowing that one day you will be whole again and we can really talk. I have made efforts to keep you focused, keeping you from that dark black hole of loneliness you enjoy, and keep you talking about your situation -- that is why I call you weekly. But, now you resent my calls and my concern. You have decided that I am intrusive and insecure because I haven't heard from you in over a week and want to know what is happening with you! Geez, you could be locked in a dark room refusing to come out (it has happened before), you could be hurt by your now drug-using ex-husband (have no idea what he would do!), or you could be pre-occupied by keeping really busy (a new concept). How am I to know if you don't return my calls in over a week?!
Ok, you finally called -- angry, but you called. I now know you are moving forward, focusing 100% you, and not realizing who you are hurting while you heal. That is OK, because you need to heal but I don't need to be hurt while you heal. I will not call again, but I will occassionally think of you and wish you the best. Maybe one day you will come back to me as my "whole friend", the person I knew before all this happened. Maybe not. Take care, friend. :(
Dear God/Mother Nature/whatever,
Enough with the tornadoes. I know that they are part of what interests me about meteorology, and my paycheck after 11 hours of overtime in the last 24 hours will be nice. However, me and everyone else at work are getting tired.
If you must produce tornadoes (and from looking at the pattern it looks like you do), then could you keep them over open country? We really don't need another Greensburg.
Thanks,
weathergal
Amen, weathergal!
A big thanks to you hardworking weather people. Greensburg had some advance warning, and I'm sure the loss of life would have been much worse if not for that. The destruction is tremendous - I can't believe anyone survived such a storm.
Deb
I realized that after I posted that I was being kind of whiny. I may be tired and not be getting to spend much time at home (or biking), but at least I still have a home to go to. And yes, it's good that there aren't more deaths in Greensburg. Although they found two more bodies today. :( And miraculously, two people alive and trapped under the rubble.
My house was flooded last year (no basement) ...lost some artwork and have had no flooring except for a concrete slab.
But at least I have a slab and a roof.
I can't begin to imagine how devastating and demoralizing it would be to lose everything.
Im keeping up with it on the news, and Im so sorry. I can only imagine :(
Dear Lottery Gods
can I please win? please? please? I neeed help helping my parents out :(
Dear person,
I will not forget that you were instrumental in creating he** for myself and my husband a few years ago, because we showed ethics and you were more interested in "being a leader". I know you know who threatened to kill our dogs, and who stopped everyone else from riding with us for a full year. I know you were not interested in seeing the ethical side of trail usage, maintenance, and building, nor in how to treat people.
Thanks in part to you and your actions I now have a fabulous job in a great city with flowers and early spring and a thriving and inclusive cycling community.
So when I have to talk to you about this work related matter, please understand that I do so only because I am professional in my work. I take no pleasure in hearing your voice, in picturing you on the other end of the phone, or in knowing that my task is to provide you with a company perk that I know you will abuse and misuse and that I would personally not approve if it were in my power. This is just a job and I do it because they pay me well and treat me with respect.
I offer no butterflies to you, only to all the people who have to communicate with you - poor people.
~T~
Dear Local Newspaper:
I came very close to canceling my subscription today. The local phone company just installed a new land line. Less than 10 mins later and you're already calling to sell me a subscription? Get real.
SK
PS - Phone installer, you are a super nice guy but did you have to pick up all the molasses cookies to take with you? :rolleyes:
Dear Local Phone Customer,Quote:
Originally Posted by SadieKate
The number you just got is new to you, but numbers are like raindrops, they are recycled.
There are no new numbers. Odds are that your local paper did not even have clue one who they were calling, they just dialed randomly or had the number for the person who had YOUR number a year ago on their list of people to bother.
Get your numbers (phone, fax, cell, business....) listed on the national do not call list. It helps, it's free
wwww.donotcall.gov
Also SK, technicians do not take anything from a customer; food, flowers, chocolates nothing, nada, zip, zilch. They are well paid by us thank you and can buy their own cookies. I'm dead serious about this.
Even if the customer says "here, take these cookies" the answer is "no, thanks"
If the cookies bother you even a little PM me, will get you direct line to repair or call 611 from any land line.
ooooo. Talk about a direct line to goddess! :eek:Quote:
Originally Posted by Trek420
Dear Phone Co Goddess Trek,
Thank you but I just wanted to gripe. I had the number registered before I even griped on TE. I register every number I can and then I go recruit my neighbors' numbers just for the satisfaction. Of course, that isn't preventing the jerks from using the automated unidentifiable methods that take way too much effort to stop but that's another story.
No worries about the cookies. It just made me laugh and I'm saved from eating them myself. But thank you.
Now the DSL thingie isn't working. After the cookie-snatcher left, I un-tached the cord to put a longer one on and the phone stops working. Works fine without the DSL filter, but doesn't work with either of the filters shipped by the LPC (somebody was a tad too overachieving in the shipping depart.:p ). The filters must be over achievers also as the dial tone is now filtered out. And, yes, I'm 'taching the cord to the spot labeled "phone." :rolleyes:
Arg.
SK (who is also enjoying the silence of a deceased cell phone)
PS - Trek, what kind of cookies do you like? :)
nah, more like a serf ;) I'm just a cog here.Quote:
Originally Posted by mimitabby
stay tuned I'll check back in a minute when on break
Dear Home Office:
Today has been a charming day with you folks. Like a relationship, we have our ups and downs. Some days you save my butt- some you send back all my paperwork, razz me and my clients, and make calls about things that confuse the h*ll out of me.
Today was the latter.
You called me today to tell me that if I didn't send you proof in writing that checks needed to be held, you'd send the checks out, nearly $10k out of a lady's retirement account, that may or may not be necessary.
So I freaked out and told my manager, told her I'd get to the bottom of this, as, conveniently, my system is down.
This client has gotten the run-around already. She asked for that $10k a couple weeks ago, but misspoke, asking that it be sent as a check, not put into her checking account. I was sweating bullets telling her it would take 7-10 days for her to get that check because she misspoke. I even offered to hold the checks and do all new paperwork to transfer that money as she wanted, but she was blessedly patient and understanding, said the 7-10 days was fine, but she had to buy a car and the dealership was breathing down her neck, waiting for their money.
So for you, home office, to call me today telling me that "If you don't get proof in writing that the checks need to be held, you'll send them out" I nearly sh*t a brick. That implied the poor woman didn't get her money. It implied a load of trouble for her and the dealership.
Yes, I did my job, called you back, left you a message (yay for time zone differences...) and then bit the bullet to call our client, knowing she'd be p*ssed if she didn't get her money.
As luck would have it, she thanked and thanked me, told me the checks had been overnighted apparently, and her new car was everything she needed, my service was amazing, and she didn't have to worry about the dealership being upset with her.
I pulled my jaw up off the floor and told her she was very welcome- if we could do anything else for her, she needn't hesitate to ask- and we ended our discussion.
...that leaves me with a serious discussion for you, Home Office- wtf? Why do you still think you're processing this paperwork if you clearly already have?
But you know what? As long as our client got her money when she needed it and is happy, that's all that matters. All this behind-the-scenes stuff will come out in the wash. What's important is a) she's happy, b) our expedient service looked incredibly fast c) I'm not under the gun.
I'll talk to you tomorrow. ...one of you. ;)
~rep#468000
Dear Goddess in Charge of Surgeons, Recovery etc:
Please let my surgery go uncomplicated and successful Friday so I can have my life back and get back to watching my 2 grandsons and riding my bike. I know you love children too and want me to be able to be back to my grandsons Tomas and Steven. Please watch over the surgeon's scalpel and make sure while he's near my spinal cord there are no "Oops! moments". First when I wake up, I'd like to be able to actually feel my legs and feet, then know that the surgery was a success. Please be sure to remind the anesthesiologist that if they are supposed to give me a pain block before I wake up from surgery to make sure they do it. The last surgery I had when I needed the angiomyofibroblastoma removed from my labia, they forgot and when I woke to a pain level of 10+, then with an audience I couldn't see since my eyes weren't quite ready to open, but my pain receptors were WIDE AWAKE the doctor and students watching him hold onto my private areas yanking at it like a ham hock say the patient isn't REALLY in as much pain as she's acting like she is :eek: :mad:.. buddy if my legs were speaking to my brain at the time, I would have showed you what "not being in THAT MUCH PAIN" felt like :mad:
Thank you,
A nervous, but hopefully soon to be relieved of pain Mary
Dear guy who knocked on my door a half hour ago,
I'm sorry...I shouldn't have been sarcastic. You asked if I was the homeowner; I said I was. You stared at me and said, "So, you own the home?" And then I was a bit snarky and told you, "Yes, generally that's what it means when someone says they're the homeowner."
It was a dumb question to ask, but I shouldn't have been such a snot. Your job can't be pleasant, and I'm sorry. :o
Slinking away into the corner and feeling mean...
NS
Here's your sign....Quote:
Originally Posted by northstar
Dear Trek Phone Co Cog Serf Whatever,
Thanks for letting me vent today. Phone and DSL are working together now. Of course, it took a run to Office Max to actually get the splitter that was needed and a shim to prop open the little spring-loaded door on the jack so the splitter isn't forced out of the port disconnecting everything constantly. I love that the installer didn't know that two filters filter out all frequencies without discrimination. Maybe he does it just to be prepared, kind of like wearing a belt and suspenders.
I did take the opportunity to buy a 6 ft long printer cable to go the 2 ft from my docking station to the printer. It will be nice not to have the 25 feet of cable tangled up with the dog bed, the filing cabinet, the trash can, etc. Of course during this project, the Wonder Poodle also informed me that he liked having the sliding glass doors open so he could nap on the cool concrete patio and to heck with the flies coming in the house.
All's well that ends well. Now if my new cell phone arrives tomorrow AND the employee in charge of business line accounts would add in such nice basics as call waiting and forwarding that are standard services for telecommuters. I really don't see the need to beg for each and every standard service provided by our policy. How about letting me do my job instead of yours?
SK
No problem, it's all part of the excellent service we provide. :pQuote:
Originally Posted by SadieKate
As well they should work together. Huh :confused: Do you have a filter on a t-adapter? Or a filter on a two-line filter? Oh heck, I don't care, I don't have to :p .....it works now, right? Have a cookie. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by SadieKate
dear unleashed dog owners.
I do not have a problem with dogs. The owners of dogs might be where my problem is. There is a thing called leash law. You have a dog outside, if you are not around, they are to be tied up. Is that so difficult to understand? I got the snot scared out of me on yesterdays bike ride. 2 dogs, one looked like a pitbull and the other was fast behind the first one. All i saw was a large head and lots of teeth. Pepper spray went flying everywhere, i unclipped to save some grace, and screamed. After my minute of increased heartrate and cadence passed, i paused for some drink. my water bottle was covered in pepper spray. Tastes rather warm and left my lips tingly all evening, and i tasted it even after dinner and the smell was still stuck in my nose. Note to self, always check water bottle if pepper spray has been used and order more spray.
Dear dog owners
in keeping with Shellyj,
also, when I'm hiking in the park, please keep your dogs on their leashes so everyone doesn't hear you for miles yelling to/at your dog to come back/keep up. Geez.
Dear Local Phone Co Supervisor and System Tech Persons:
Thank you so much for responding in person in minutes after my call. The phone and the DSL seem to be happy with each other finally and, most wonderfully, you got rid of the jack with the nasty spring-loaded door. I even posted this note while on the phone and the DSL connection didn't bog down into oblivion.
Woohoo.
SK
Dear Special Education Teacher with your umpteen advanced degrees,
When I ask you to fill out ONE simple Social/Emotional Developmental Rating form on ONE little child, could you PLEASE try not to scribble all over the paper!??? All you needed to do was fill in a few circles with a #2 pencil. I have a feeling the 4 year old student could have done a neater job!~ :mad:
Thank you for your attention to detail....
Dear Rollerblader-girl who wears Victoria's Secret "I love Pink" sweat suit, next time you go rollerblading in the park please lower the volume on your Ipod. You see that this park has a lot of people on their bikes, runners, walkers, kids. Why listen to music so loud that you can't hear when someone passing you yells out "On your left"?? So what do you decide to do? - swing right in front of me and then when I hit your rollerblades with my front wheel you don't even realize what happen. Maybe if you could hear someone behind you then you would not ride in zig zags and actually maintain your line? Maybe not...
Dear collegiate faculty and staff (particularly faculty),
I know you signed up for a certain # of meals and that they expired on May 1 but do NOT get pissed with me b/c you decided not to read the contract! Yes you lost money or meals when the expiration date occured, but do not blame me for it, especially when you signed months in advance, giving you plenty of time to eat said # of meals. You are supposed to have a degree in higher education, I would expect you to be able to read, especially read before you sign a contract. But, maybe I'm asking for too much. Just get off of mine and my coworkers backs b/c you were too lazy to read 2 simple paragraphs.
Dear Missymaya:
Mah spoon is too big!
~Kit
Dear L
You've been incredibly cool and supportive the past seven months. You told me this morning that God never closes a door without opening a window. You told me earlier that everything in the universe happens for a reason. Someone told me last night, that had I not gotten this job with you, I never would have, through the twisting path of circumstance, met her. There are people I love whom I would have never known, people who were hurtful whom I would have never been able to leave. You've been a guide, an inspiration and a mentor. I wish I knew how you manage such an overwhelmingly positive outlook despite setbacks and stress. Everyone has a gift, and I think those- your incredible humanity and kindness- are yours. Thank you.
Dear person in my pole dancing class,
There are times it takes nerve to take this class. I realize you are much younger and apparently run marathons in record time (according to you), easily do things requiring arm/ab strength, and don't appear to have time constraints put upon you by working. There are times I struggle because I am the oldest one in class, am definitely the least flexible, and am working to getting back into the shape I was in before moving to Washington.
Imagine my surprise when I saw your Seven bike as I was going into class yesterday. I didn't know you cycled! I asked you questions about components (you didn't know what you had), gear sizes (ditto on not knowing) and you were able to deflect all by announcing that the bike was built for YOU!!! I asked you about hill climbing which has been my nemesis this year as I am getting into shape and I noticed you had a double with a fairly small cassette in the back. You said you had no problems at all with hills and the bike flies up them.
All of that is ok until you said loudly, with other people around and in a patronizing tone, "it's ok, you will climb hills better as you start to lose weight".
I don't know if you realize it but I'm pretty much the same size I was when I was working out a lot. I also don't know if you realize that I probably have a longer riding history than you do. And maybe you don't realize that I know I need to get back into shape which is why I'm riding 100+ miles a week, and have also started running, and am doing things like taking pole dancing class.
It was all I could do to stay in class. In a group where you are a bit vulnerable due to the nature of the class, I think your comment was unwarranted and uncalled for.
Oh and fellow classmate? Not that I'm spiteful but when I tearfully told DH what had happened, I gave him a brief description of you. He remembered seeing you from the one time he dropped me off at class two months ago. He said at the time that you looked like a high maintenance b&*^% and that is why he remembered seeing you. It doesn't make it all better but it goes to show that there are people who see you for what you are.
Dear TE ladies:
Thank you for being so civilized. There's a new "Dear So and So" thread over at Bikeforums.net, and it quickly degenerated into sophomoric sex-related posts. I'm so glad that we're not like that.
Janice
Dear Bikeforums Dear So and So thread:
Finally! A place where I could let my inner 13 year old out to play!
...and yet...
the realization that I should have to go somewhere special to be a crass dork feels too similar to kindly getting up and leaving the room to pass gas.
*sigh* Again I am encouraged by my inner adult to confine my inner 13 year old to her room until she can play nice with others.
~Kit