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Yay.
I am so glad you are getting help and that you told your husband. Sometimes fear is worse if you don't confront it and I am so very happy that he is supportive. Things build, especially if you just let them fester in your mind. Fester's an icky word, sorry.
I think you're brave but that goes right along with everything else you've accomplished. (((hugs)))
more hugs from me.
So glad you're taking steps and that you've been able to talk with your DH. Take good care.
Well done, Tri! Worst fears confronted and the monster wasn't hiding under the bed. Tell DH that an extra hug or two per day will help keep the monsters away until your appointment ... and after for that matter. In fact, you may both become addicted to them. :p
Ditto what others have said - very glad that you have made the appointment (and if only crazy people see "shrinks" then I think there are a lot of crazy people on this forum!). PLEASE, PLEASE keep this appointment, even if you are feeling better by then - it something very important for YOU.
Also glad that you have talked to DH, and that he has assuaged your fears about "the big D". Don't let it be the end, though.
We're all here for you! Keep us posted. You are doing all the right things.
Hugs,
SheFly
That almost brought me to tears...sounds like a conversation I had with my hubby not too long ago! I proceeded to see someone and opening lines of communication with hubby little by little (baby steps!!!) and we are in such great place now...and it has only been a couple months!Quote:
Originally Posted by Tri Girl
Keep that appointment!!! And make a few more...one is never enough! Keep those conversations going with your hubby...regardless how "few" words there are! you are on the right path now so keep moving...
:D
TriGirl, you've taken a very courageous and difficult first step; I know how hard that was for you. Take care and keep going in that direction.
(((((((big hug))))))) for a strong brave woman
I am so glad you made the appointment this quickly - and I got a warm, good all over feeling when I read the post about you talking to your husband.
re crazy people see shrinks - Shrinks are medical doctors trained to treat disorders of the brain. If your thyroid quit working you would go to an internist and get medicine, if your pancreas quit working you would go on insulin. The brain and it's chemical levels are no different.
Re other people's problems - I am sorry to hear about your team teachers son :( I am sure that is having an effect on you too. And maybe the fact your good friend leaving her husband had a bearing on your marriage feelings (just a guess)
I was glad to hear you say "but I guess if they're the worst problems I'm facing then they're that bad" Truer words were never spoken
another ((((((((big hug))))))))
When you can't hold yourself up - let others carry you - You have many friends here on TE
Honey, if only crazy people see shrinks, then the human race is crazy (which we are, a bit, just by nature). Believe me, you have lots of quite sane company out here.
You will get through this. And good for you for taking action.
Conversations like these are how the supposed stigma of getting help for mental issues is erased. It's educating people that yes - it's just another possible illness or situation that can be helped with proper treatment.
That's why I am not shy about talking about my mental health. Well, I don't broadcast it from building rooftops, but I don't hide it either.
I blew up at a gal once. She came to me and was gossiping about a mutual acquaintance: do you know she's on anti-depressants and all that? OHMYGOD!!
I reamed her out. I said, do you know I take anti-depressants and will for the rest of my life? ( she didn't) If she were taking cardiac medication, would you talk about her like that? S
Now, I'm not trying to imply that OP will need medication or anything else, just try to explain that there are various shades of treatment that will help mental issues, and it's nothing to hide. As usual, I feel as eloquent as a bull in a china shop....
I have to admit I'd be too afraid to go & see a psychologist or other metal health person. I don't like the word or even the image of "therapy'. I guess because it's an overused term in the world?
In terms of medication, if i required it for a mental health issue, ok.
Now before you jump on me, my dad has been dealing with PTSD for about 10yrs now. If it wasn't for anti depressants, very good friends & a great dr, he wouldn;t be here right now. He's decreased some of the meds but as soon as he notices a certain trigger feeling, he'll increase it a bit.
I'm in a rush & will have to describe this a bit better later on.
CC, "therapy" means something in the orthopaedic world too, and the analogy is pretty close.
Some people do need orthopaedic surgery. Some people do need psychiatric meds. (At this point I believe I'm one of them.)
Many people need physical therapy but either they or their doctor doesn't want to do the work, so they get surgery instead. Many people need talk therapy but either they or their doctor doesn't want to do the work (or their insurance will cover drugs but not therapy), so they get meds instead.
Just as physical therapy rearranges the physical structures of the bones and soft tissues, talk therapy rearranges the physical structures of the brain. (Yes, it's been proved.)
'Kay?
Hang in there, you are a very strong person. When I read your 1st post it sounded very much like me. I have been married for close to 13 years and was just recently trying to dig myself out of the biggest rut that life had to offer me. Please hang in there, it takes a lot of courage to seek assistance so you have my highest respect. It will get better.
I have to add that I agree with this. There are a lot of people that ask for assistance. It is sometimes good to talk with people that are not close to your situation to give you a different perspective and to give you the tools you need.Quote:
Originally Posted by salsabike
I think you read my post all wrong. Or maybe I'm not articulating properly.Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycanuck
I have been taking meds for 10 years and will do it lifelong and I am very sensitive about the stigma thing because I think it indicates ignorance about mental health issues.
I jumped all over this gal because of the tone of the gossip "so and so is doing this, can you believe it?" It was the tone and attitude she had, she was saying it like she was gossiping about a neighbor cheating on a spouse, done in whispers and dramatics. She said it like something was wrong with this other person because she takes medication, and that is what pissed me off. What really pissed me of is 1. was none of her business. 2. So what. 3. I already knew 4. gossiping like that is lame, negative and unproductive.
I'll keep my mouth shut from now on in regards to mental health issues as I know where i stand in the world. Irulan-I understood what you meant & have never said anything bad against anyone else taking meds!!!
Tri Girl-sorry to have hijacked your thread. I do hope everything works out for you. I realize you've been under stress at work & just haven't been there to really understand how you feel. Take care & yes, if you require immediate help, do not stop, just go & find it!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by crazycanuck
yep same here, oops sorry!!
There does indeed seem to be a general social stigma attached to the terms "therapy", "Psychiatrist", "mental health", "shrink", etc. It's unfortunate, but there it is. For anyone who gets uncomfortable when they use these terms to the point of hesitating to get help because of it, I think if you substitute the word "counseling", it might not trigger inner uncomfortable associations as much. :)
Tri-Girl, I think the most important thing in what you have said is that you are doing a good thing for yourself....so true! Please don't let any stigma prevent you from getting help that will make your life better.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tri Girl
In 2000/2001, I went through a very difficult time; over the course of a year and a half, my mother, my (estranged) husband and my brother died, each after rather long illnesses. My GP referred me to a grief counselor - I can tell you that was the best thing I ever did for me. This was an opprtunity to talk with a professional about my feelings (anger, guilt, among others) and understand that those feelings weren't unusual, nor did they make me a bad person. There were just a couple of things that she said to me that were eureka moments. I can't tell you what a burden was lifted.
The second part of my experience is that I made no secret of the fact that I was going to counselling - didn't talk about it all the time, but didn't deny it. As a result, a number of people actually talked to me about the fact that they had gone for counselling at some point. You might be amazed at the people who have sought help in this way - but it is often a stigma, as you say, or something that is kept a secret.
Also wanted to mention that ups and downs are normal in a relationshp - marriage or otherwise. I have since remarried - we've been together for almost seven years - and I there are days when my DH is fed up/annoyed with me :( ... and some days when I am the same with him. But we can move on from that.
Anyway, sorry to be so long-winded, but hope this helps in some way.
Therapy is an excellent idea and congratulations for taking charge of your life.
I was married 25 years. I am now divorced. All relationships have ups/downs.
Therapy helped me see the distructiveness of the relationship. Even though I don't ever talk to my ex, I think we are both very happy where we are now.
Good luck, lots of hugs!
It does. Thank you. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Serendipity
It is interesting we all seem to have similar lives yet very different. i have been with Dh for going on 22 years. and sometimes I really can't wait for him to have to go on a job without me. And we are with eachother 24-7. We also work together and own a business together. We have had times that were very rocky. Maybe more then other's since we are around eachother so much. But like what everyone else has said it does pass. And I can not imagine my life without him, even though there are times I do. They are much less then then wanting him with me. And when he does have to go on a job by himself, when he is getting ready to leave a feel a real sence of loss and saddness. Then I get over it and eat what I want, and watch what I want on tv, and go to bed when I want. Then after a few days I am ready to have him back. Hey maybe you should take a little vacation with a friend or by yourself. Maybe the seperation would make your heart (and his) grow fonder. My dh has to be reminded that I need him to want me. Guys (and girls) can take eachother for granted a lot and then we become resentful.
I don't think I have said anything different here then anyone else. But I hope it helps some.
And yes I have thought of driving off that cliff too. But I am gald that is all it is a thought.
+1 :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandi
I had a teacher in high school that suggested that eventually everyone will see a counselor. I always remembered that and later in my life I came to a point that I needed to see one. Among other things, my body was going cuckoo with PMDD and it was affecting my mental health in a BAD way. It was the best money spent and I looked at it as an investment in my health. I hope you find that it is as helpful for you. Sending you a big, gentle hug.