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Oddly, my DH is the opposite. Never seems the least bit concerned for my safety. Sometimes it puts me into a snit and I think I must be awfully replaceable - but that's not true, I know he loves me VERY much - so much, that he doesn't LET himself ever think that something could go wrong. He just lives in a fanstasy world in which I am immortal and unbreakable.:rolleyes:
Yeah, we kinda did too, until I had my accident and fractured my pelvis, had to have surgery, etc etc....now DH is definitely more careful with me. And I no longer ride alone.Quote:
Originally Posted by latelatebloomer
Emily
The first few days Thom commuted on his motorcycle I wanted him to e mail me when he got to work. If it's really windy I e mail him just to get a reply. I think it's normal to have some concern for the ones you love.
However, that concern should not keep you from living life fully.
V.
Well, yeah, he's probably more of a worrier than the average person but it's the vulnerability of a woman alone that bothers him about the cycling. He obviously wouldn't worry about me driving places -- I'm in a car and less likely to get attacked, and more protected if I'm in a wreck.
While he's concerned about traffic and such, his real issue is a woman walking or running or cycling alone. It's not an unreasonable concern but he takes it a bit to extremes. And the Jennifer Ewing situation (and tshirt) just kind of brought the discussion to the fore again.
ETA: He won't buy a small car for the similar reasons. More likely to get crunched/killed by collision with an SUV, tricked out truck, etc. He just tends to err on the side of caution in general.
Right now my DH worries if I'm out riding around 6:30pm - 7:30pm because of the extreme sun position. We live facing towards the west and at those times in the evenings the sun is at eye level. I'm aware of it, and if I'm out then, I try to stay off the main roads simply because it's hard enough to see cars in that glare not to mention cyclists and runners/walkers.
Still, I'm trying to squeeze in as much riding as possible before the weather changes. (shrug) We all work with what we have and what we can deal with, right?
Pooks -- my hubby seems more concerned about motorized traffic getting me than anything else. I figured a small motor cycle, or one of those scooter things would be a good idea when gas went up, but oh no! Those are just as bad as riding your bike to work would be! You stay in your Durango...
When we're out together, he ALWAYS makes me ride in front when we're on busy roads with minimal shoulder areas and no bike path. It's the only time he doesn't insist on being in front!
I'm not sure what the advantage in him being the first of us hit would be? He's always close enough that the driver couldn't avoid taking us both out, y'know? If the car didn't get me to, flying hubby surely would! I'm guessing that somewhere in the deep recesses of his brain, there's the memory of when he was a little guy, and got hit while riding his bike...
Karen in Boise
Please forgive this irrelevant tangent here but KANO remined me of this with her post:
HOLY COW!!! Gas prices where I am have dropped to $1.97!!!!!!! H*ll must be pretty chilly about now!!
Ok - back to the serious stuff......
Here in H*ll fuel prices are at least 3 times what you see anywhere Stateside! Luckily we're having a warm Fall so far. When it starts freezing over here, staying warm is gonna get expensive!
Now let's go back on topic. One of the reasons I stayed here in Norway after my year as an exchange student was that, while murders do occur, they are not considered par for the course here. And it IS considered normal for women and kids to be outdoors, on their own or in groups not guarded by adult males, at pretty much any hour of the day and day of the year (well, aside from kids after their bedtime). I think over the years I've lived here, there have been about a handful of random murders of women outdoors, and each time the dominant response is that it must not be tolerated, that women must have the right to enjoy the world freely and safely. That doesn't mean that we are entirely safe. Obviously. These murders did happen. But it does help me feel safer knowing that the bulk of my fellow citizens acknowledges my right to be out there. The murderers, whether caught or still hunted, have at least been given the message that the public does not offer them any excuse. It was their fault and theirs alone, not the women's fault for being "available".
Pooks - my husband is an ex-cop & he isn't worried as long as I don't venture into bad areas. But, cops tend to think they're not vulnerable to any bad element. My ex-husband (alcoholic) wanted me to carry my .357 pistol. Wouldn't I be a sight with a water bottle carrier and a pistol strapped to my frame?
I think V was right. He needs to release the chains & let you fly. Have you tried really talking to him about how his attitude affects you?
Oh, there aren't any chains. We've been married WAY too long for him to expect me to actually listen to him. Ahem.
Is there any evidence that women cyclists are being attacked/killed at a higher rate than anyone else in your area?
Alot of things depend upon which state you reside and the crime statistics in the area which you ride and your level of comfort
I have had my share of being run off the road, running into a rapist/fire starter while mt bikeing & road bikeing ect.
When I lived in the south west and road on rural roads, my female rideing partner had no qualms over packing heat in her handlebar bag.
I carry mace and a cell phone in my handlebar map bag when riding solo in the metro west Boston area, but the cell phone does not always work. I like to ride with 1 other person, but sometimes it is not possible. Carrying a concealed wepon is not always an option
Some say one needs to have an "presence of confidence" which deters wierds, other say follow your six sense. There is not easy answer to your question, you have to pick the best solution for you.
My 2 cents....
Not that I know of, but he wouldn't want me to be walking or running through these areas, either.Quote:
Originally Posted by donnambr
And as far as murder in general, Dallas has the highest murder rate in the nation so while I don't think that really has any impact on me personally, it's not as if we live in a place where nobody ever worries about it. Twice this past week older men were approached as they were working in their garages, beaten and robbed. One died; the other may have now, I'm not sure. And these are just garden-variety middle class neighborhoods, not "dangerous" areas.
wow. all of you are truly blessed. althought it might seem annoying sometimes to have someone on your case about your safety...you truly are very very lucky to have another human being be concerned about your well-being. i've never ridden with anyone else. all my friends moved to different parts of the country, and i am completely alone. been single for several years (not by choice). nobody ever even knows when i'm out riding, let alone know where i'm going or how long i'll be gone. if i dont do things alone, i would never do ANYTHING. this is a completely miserable existence but is necessary because...for every happy person there's gotta be a sad one! anyway...i just want to tell you ladies how LUCKY and BLESSED and LOVED you all are for having someone be concerned for you. i barely remember what that was like. i am sooooo jealous.
...remember there are other people out there who have no one in the world for them...not even a friend to tell their day to...always smile at passers-by because that just might be one of them...
I am truly shocked at reading how big a concern women's safety is for, appearantly, so many American women and their partners of all part of the country. It is not the first time I notice it on this board but now reading it all together really comes as a sad revelation.
I don't know if it's the North (like Duck on Wheels who's in Norway) but to me it's clear that women have every right to be in the outdoors, doing stuff, not being 'guarded' by men and not being more than reasonably careful about themselves. My partner, who's a SERIOUS worry wart, would be worried that I crashed if I was late for dinner, but certainly not that I was attacked. I will find it a bit creepy running the trails by myself, but mostly because I fear owl attacks (frequent in this season).
I hope you women do not only do individual things like be careful and carry mace and tell your partner/friends where are going. The amount of fear I read about seems totally unacceptable to me, and calls to some collective action. Women must get together, be bold and refuse to be scared by the prospect of violent men waiting to pounce on them. I have often read of 'Take back the night' walks. Maybe a 'Take back the trails' is required?