Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,
It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.
Me.
Printable View
Dear Petite, Skinny Mom,
It's really not okay to laugh along with your four-year-old when he laughs at the lady with the "great big butt." Granted, maybe you were embarrassed, but by the smirk on your face, I kinda think not.
Me.
Owlie, try sprinkling some salt into the onions next time. It sucks out the residual water and helps the sugars inside brown faster.
Dear Channlluv
I am sorry the mom was such a jerk. When my own tot (only 2 years old) kept telling me in his loud clear voice "Mommy look at that ugly ugly man" I was so astonished that all I could do was rush him away from the poor guy (who wasn't particularly ugly) he was too young to understand that he might hurt someone's feelings. On the other hand, I was proud that he was speaking in sentences. I don't think I smirked though, I was horrified!
:(I am sorry that happened. People can be pretty pretty oblivious to others around them. Sorry I can't think of a better word then that..but I think you know what I mean. I tend to be very aware, almost to a fault. Hope you have a great day!! You rock:DQuote:
Originally Posted by channlluv
:(Quote:
Originally Posted by channlluv
Dear bike:
Please stop giving me that look. I want to go out too, but I'm too poor to afford clothing to take you out. We'll try for later this afternoon, after I've had some tea and it's warmer than 35 degrees. Brr!
-Your owner/ice cube
Dear BF:
What are you whining about? I'd give an arm to have riding-friendly weather right now!
-Your girlfriend, who is rapidly turning into a popsicle.
What was really disheartening is the setting -- we were at a place where my daughter spends a lot of time, probably with this woman's older kid, although I didn't recognize either the little one or the mom.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
I've had people laugh at me before - a couple of times when I've been riding around the lake. One man even laughed as I rode past him (he was walking) and shouted ahead to his wife in a language that sounded like Russian to me -- she was about twenty yards ahead of him. She looked up just as I was riding past, at me, and then she laughed, too. Another time it was two younger college-age women on beach cruisers, also at the lake.
I've had strangers ask me when my baby is due, one saying that I look like I'm about to pop. One even said, incredulously, "You're kidding!" when I told him I wasn't pregnant, and he kept staring at my stomach like I was lying to him. I wanted to dump a vase of water over his head.
Another time, in Home Depot, I was browsing in the garden section and a little boy in a cart next to me said, "Look, Mommy, that lady has a baby in her tummy." The mom glancing up with a smile to congratulate me, then realizing I did not, sort of looked embarrassed and shushed him and moved to a different aisle.
I've heard more than once, when I was younger, "You'd be so pretty if you'd just lose some weight."
I don't know. Even my therapist has been telling me that maybe I just need to be one of those big women who just live their lives and don't give a damn.
Being fat is hard, though.
Roxy
ouch. Even i did that once to a friend. I said "omigosh, don't tell me, you're pregnant!" and she wasn't... :(:(Quote:
Originally Posted by channlluv
Roxy, as the daughter of a woman who was tortured by her size, I can understand your pain. I wish my mother had been able to not care. She really let her body hate ruin her life. She pretty much hid, when she would have liked to be doing. It prevented her from enjoying life.
We don't get to choose our body, so it's really not fair that having a "nice" one is so valued. It's not like it automatically makes you a nice person. I wish we cared more about that, but it's all superficial.
But, I think you're very pretty the way you are (not that that matters ;)).
Well, the pregnancy comment has happened enough that I know whomever is making it is trying to be thoughtful, not hurtful, so it doesn't bother me as much, but that old guy staring at my stomach and challenging me. He actually followed that up with, "I would have guessed five or six months along." Yeah, really. Thanks.
Oof.
((Roxy))
Dear self:
Harden the **** up. While I can understand not wanting to ride with back cramps, given that the last time we did so, we nearly crashed, if you're going to ride for the remainder of the year, you're going to need to learn to do so in the cold.
((Roxy))
I'm a firm believer in karma -- of the 'what goes around comes around' variety. I truly believe people who deliberately say or do unkind things will eventually get theirs.
It may not be immediate (oh, wouldn't it be great if such people could be vaporized on the spot?!?) but perhaps someday the petite skinny mom may wake up to find herself old and flabby and have someone remark on her less-than-perfect appearance, or, owing to her marvelous 'parenting' her son will grow up to be a callous self-centered jerk who does not give her the time of day.
I suppose it's a negative thought process to take; I don't really dwell on this kind of thing but it does help me get past injustices like that.
(((((Roxy))))) People can be so rude. I wonder if there's a snappy response you could come up with?
Thanks, jobob.
Oak, mostly I just ignore them. It's embarrassing to acknowledge public scorn.
Sorry to gripe here. I'm the one actually looking forward to winter riding season because the trails are less crowded. Fewer people to mock me. :)
Roxy
channlluv, if it's any consolation, the only way I see you is that big, victorious smile in your avatar, and it's gorgeous.
+1!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by lph
And big yay to RD and Mimi.
My Dad still says that to me all the time. Part of me wonders if I stay fat just to spite him. We don't exactly have a loving relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by channlluv
Really doesn't do much for the self-confidence, especially when you think all the guys out there only want to date skinny girls.
BIG HUGS to you, Roxy. Your strength, determination, and compassion is unparalleled.
Dear TE ladies
This is the first time I left DH (in the hospital) where I felt bad for me instead of for him. He's doing really well. He's got his sense of humor back (for what it's worth) ;) :rolleyes: and he's able to get up and do laps in the hospital hallways. The only bad part is that he has to ask the nurses to do it, because he still has a few lines that have to be messed with before he can leave his bed and the immediate vicinity of it.
Why do i feel bad for me? oh, it's being alone. Funny, it didn't bother me so much when he was out of state on a bike ride!
owell progress. every day.
Happy to hear he is on his feet:D And you are not alone...you have all of us;)
aw, thanks! come for dinner tomorrow?
Would love to.. whatcha making??:) How long do you think it would take to get there from CO?
it depends on how fast you can ride. it's all downhill from Colorado, isn't it? ;)
(maybe Chicken , brown rice, and stirfried veggies)
^ What lph said. And hugs. I'm sure you've developed ways to deal with the comments, but we all have days when things get to us.Quote:
Originally Posted by lph
Mimi: seriously, would you like company for dinner? DH is out of town this week so I can bring something over!
TE dinner party to cheer Mimi up? Or to drive her crazy and wish for quiet! ;):DQuote:
Originally Posted by NbyNW
I would love that. it's so quiet here without the Donald. It really doesn't normally bother me, but it is bothering me with him in the hospital like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by NbyNW
LOL...that is what I was planning too!! I will be there in spirit!! I am kind of shy just to warn you. If I was out there I would gladly join you for dinner.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
Mimi, I'm so glad to hear that Don is doing well, but I'm sorry you feel lonely. I sure hope your fellow NW TEers can join you for dinner. What a nice diversion that would be.
Roxy, you're beautiful!!! It makes me sad that you've had to endure such insensitivity. You deserve better.
two words- wool underlayersQuote:
Originally Posted by Owlie
marni
Dear Owlie
you don't have to spend a lot of $$$ for those wool underlayers. You'd be surprised what you can find in a thrift store..
That is so true. I just got out my winter clothes and, looking at the giant pile of wool, said to myself "What was I thinking?" But I know the answer -- I was thinking "$4.99 for a merino layer is too good to pass up."Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
Oh, and I was also thinking maybe the wool weenies can tell me where to put all this stuff...
I agree 100% with Jo.Quote:
Originally Posted by jobob
It's hard not to respond to an ugly, ignorant, mean, unsolicited comment, but keeping your dignity and ignoring it is always best.
When you roll in the dirt with pigs, you get dirty.
Weirdly enough, I've been a target of some heavy females. There's an extremely immature/loud/overweight woman at work who has: 1) made fun of my "chicken" neck (I'm almost 49); 2) accused me of having an eating disorder; and 3) called me "butter face." This is not said directly to me, but in loud conversations in the office that everyone overhears. Remarks like that don't impress anyone. I feel embarrassed for her, and just ignore her and her remarks.
I have a problem with all of these "mean girls." Selkie, I've had people make comments about being petite, too. What ever happened to "you can think it, but don't say it?"
Some of this has been brought to light now that I am at a gym again. Sometimes, and I hate to say this, I don't like being in a class with all women! They see a new person and start checking me out... one woman came in and plunked her step down, 1 inch in front of where I was, so she could be near "her friend." I guess I was in her space? Cyclists aren't like this at all, thankfully.
I remember that being one of the first things I taught my son about behaviour in public: "if you want to say something about someone else, whisper it to me, no matter what it is."
Later we went into discussing why, with my main point being that most grown people just don't like to be pointed at or commented on. It's a concept that kids take a little while to grow into. And I guess a few adults never grasp...
Honestly, I was glad the day my husband answered a question of mine, "no, you're not thin any more" because it was about that time that women quit treating me like I was subhuman for not having a weight problem. I cannot tell you how many times I have been between the crosshairs of some woman. "YOU don't understand. How COULD you understand?"
and about the wool. If you don't have a super cool cedar chest to keep it in, get ziplock bags..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crankin
In this society "anything goes". Polite behavior has gone out the window.
Veronica
It's not that I don't have stuff (I do.) It'a matter of making myself go outside.Quote:
Originally Posted by Biciclista
People can have a weird way of projecting their own insecurities onto you. I don't know if it makes them feel better to do so, but it really is their problem, not yours.
I've gotten comments about being too skinny my whole life. Even during a very stressful time of my life when I had trouble keeping weight on, in spite of a healthy appetite, I got dangerously thin.
We all have our burdens. I've never found it productive to compare who's got it more difficult.
+1,000,000,000Quote:
Originally Posted by lph
Maybe we can come up with some snappy comebacks...:rolleyes:
Dear retail gods: Why is it so hard to find a wool winter coat that fits? I go through this every few years and it's always torture. Enough with the vanity sizing for one. I'm not skinny, so why are most coats huge on me? On the flip side of the coin, why does J. Crew think that the average woman has toothpicks for arms? As I tried your coats on, I heard several women experiencing the same problem that I was. The coat otherwise fit but was cut much too tightly under the arms. Argh. And enough with the weird designs, too. Why would I want a winter coat with three-quarter length sleeves or a lapel as big as my body? Just give me a classic, well proportioned cut. In a camel color preferably. Black is no good; I have cats.
Thank you.
Classic but true: mean people suck.
I've had the "so when are you due?" question before. I just smile and say, "Thanks for asking, but I'm not expecting".
What gets me are the skinny girls that are always complaining about being fat. I figure I have a right to complain, but they just sound pathetic.