Why do you voice your thoughts/opinions?

[Pax]

I understand everyone has an opinion, I also understand it is your "right" to express it; my question is why do you express it? Are you hoping to change someone's views, find common ground, validate your process, degrade someone else, create an open dialog?

I ask because recently I've been subjected to others uninvited/unwelcome opinions and it got me thinking about why they felt the need to share their thoughts and opinions, what they hoped to gain from it. Why they believe their opinion has any relevance.

[Pax]

Depends, were the unwelcome opinions on a forum?

No, in person. Although your question makes me think about the different places we share our thoughts; forums exist for that purpose so I should have been more clear.

[Pax]

...

Do you live in a very conservative region compared to where you lived before? Is this where the questions originate?

If so, here is my opinion. They're stupid. :)
Thanks for the detailed reply, seriously.

And yes, I now live in a smaller coastal southern town. I believe you are correct, and they seem to revel in this.

[Pax]

That's where I'm at these days, not so much friends as needing some community. I've started looking to places in Orlando to go and visit and get a respite from the bigotry.

[Crankin]

This was seriously a reason why I moved back to MA, from AZ. Now, that is not to say that there were not and are not today, others with opinions and beliefs similar to mine. But, in 1990 we saw the writing on the wall. Compared to the early 70s, when my parents moved to AZ, the politics totally shifted. I pretty much stayed within the confines of my little group of friends, connected to the JCC, a few colleagues, and people i knew from the university. And, I lived in a liberal, university city. But... I taught in the neighboring town, and really, got sick of of the prissy attitudes of a lot of the staff and some students, who mostly were members of a particular religion that is ultra conservative, mysonigistic, and racist. One of the male staff members told me that my husband should not *allow* me to watch cable TV :eek:. I did not like it when my 5 year old had to go on a tangent to explain to a grocery clerk why he didn't celebrate Christmas. I know people have different opinions, I just want to be around people who don't constantly try to tear down my beliefs. I am not going to try and change others. I stopped speaking to close members of my family (aunt and cousins) because of this. They may be the only Jewish conservatives in Massachusetts, but it ruined every holiday and family occasion. I don't have to justify myself to anyone...
I just can't get past the part of me that marched on the Boston Common in 1968 and got thrown out of high school when I moved to Florida in 1969 and wore a black arm band to protest.

[rebeccaC]

Are you hoping to change someone's views, find common ground, validate your process, degrade someone else, create an open dialog?.

1 seldom 2 mostly 3 sometimes 4 i try to have a calm mind and a warm heart 5 i enjoy it when it happens.

It would be nice if some people didn’t foster aggression/anger towards others by assuming what they should be like….but then I am also on a journey of trying to keep an open heart and trying to find a way to talk to others from the point of view of our good hearts. That’s easier, but can still be difficult at times, to do with family and even more of a challange with those who aren’t and make us angry with their thinking….be Pema in those moments! ;)

Yeah community IS important….hoping you find some comfort when finding it!!!
remember….my thoughts were palm springs and weho back then :)

[Pax]

I don't really have a peer group where I live. Too conservative or much older. i actually wondered if you'd run into this when you said you were moving, but hoped you would be going to an area in Florida that was more tolerant.

Any plans or hope of moving? I'm about 50 miles north of Savannah, ga. Are you far from me? Just curious. I assume you are if you can socialize in Orlando.

This is home for the foreseeable future, we are nearing the end of our work lives and moving again would be cost prohibitive now. We are a couple of hours south of Jacksonville so several hours from you (I think?), and same here with much older people and far more conservative than we originally thought.



1 seldom 2 mostly 3 sometimes 4 i try to have a calm mind and a warm heart 5 i enjoy it when it happens.

It would be nice if some people didn’t foster aggression/anger towards others by assuming what they should be like….but then I am also on a journey of trying to keep an open heart and trying to find a way to talk to others from the point of view of our good hearts. That’s easier, but can still be difficult at times, to do with family and even more of a challange with those who aren’t and make us angry with their thinking….be Pema in those moments! ;)

Yeah community IS important….hoping you find some comfort when finding it!!!
remember….my thoughts were palm springs and weho back then :)
PS or WeHo would have been wonderful, wish I'd chosen a more lucrative career so I could have had more options.

Regarding Pema, I've started taking time each day to read a little of her work while I sit at the beach. It's my zen place.

[Pax]

This was seriously a reason why I moved back to MA, from AZ. Now, that is not to say that there were not and are not today, others with opinions and beliefs similar to mine. But, in 1990 we saw the writing on the wall. Compared to the early 70s, when my parents moved to AZ, the politics totally shifted. I pretty much stayed within the confines of my little group of friends, connected to the JCC, a few colleagues, and people i knew from the university. And, I lived in a liberal, university city. But... I taught in the neighboring town, and really, got sick of of the prissy attitudes of a lot of the staff and some students, who mostly were members of a particular religion that is ultra conservative, mysonigistic, and racist. One of the male staff members told me that my husband should not *allow* me to watch cable TV :eek:. I did not like it when my 5 year old had to go on a tangent to explain to a grocery clerk why he didn't celebrate Christmas. I know people have different opinions, I just want to be around people who don't constantly try to tear down my beliefs. I am not going to try and change others. I stopped speaking to close members of my family (aunt and cousins) because of this. They may be the only Jewish conservatives in Massachusetts, but it ruined every holiday and family occasion. I don't have to justify myself to anyone...
I just can't get past the part of me that marched on the Boston Common in 1968 and got thrown out of high school when I moved to Florida in 1969 and wore a black arm band to protest.
I totally get this. It's very wearing to constantly be placed in a defensive position, especially when we aren't really interested in having the conversation in the first place.

My long time friends like to joke that my tombstone will read "All she ever asked was to be left alone", not sure why that's so hard for some people, just leave me alone and I'll return the favor.

[Crankin]

I feel for you, Pax. This is why cost of living/employment isn't the only thing to consider when moving... the culture where you live is as important, unless you desire no human connection!
I feel like this is the stuff that really can wear you down. It's a stressor, as much as financial stress or illness, in my book.

Murienn, when I was in Beaufort for DS's boot camp graduation, I went into the Democratic party headquarters. This was in 2004, during the campaign between Kerry and Bush. I was feeling very out of sorts/agitated just being in a very conservative environment, and I was not looking forward to being on the base (I got over that part, a long time ago, since my son is pretty much his same, weird self). The woman in there was wonderful, and I talked with her for like 30 minutes. I wanted a Kerry button to wear on myself at the graduation, in part to make my views known. They didn't have any, so she gave me her own button, which I wore on my purse for the whole week. Have you ever thought about connecting with that group?

[shootingstar]

I totally get this. It's very wearing to constantly be placed in a defensive position, especially when we aren't really interested in having the conversation in the first place.

My long time friends like to joke that my tombstone will read "All she ever asked was to be left alone", not sure why that's so hard for some people, just leave me alone and I'll return the favor.
I think some of us could say the same about some workplaces where we've been. I have. It's not even having the conversation at all. People just having certain attitudes and expressing it in multiple subtle ways and behaviour as well.

Sometimes it's not just validation we might want to hear, but hear more real, different experiences from the other side. Learn something. I'm open to that as a person who does have some strong views and hope the other person would as well.

For enjoying retirement, I most definitely would not want to live in a predominantly conservative area where basic my core values and my life experiences were undermined/ignored often. I feel for you, Pax. Where I live, is Canada's oil prairie rangeland heartland here in Alberta. It's taken long time locals to change... it's amazing though, what a difference just having a highly articulate mayor, Canadian-born (East Indian and Muslim), can change the face of a city by reminding people to be tolerant and open...Canada is taking in 10,000 Syrian refugees. It disappoints me, the attitudes of some Americans that we read in the press. Very extreme. (Trump is not helping and fuelling a lot of ignorance.)

I also tend to judge "community" in diversity --not just the people, but how the city/an area expresses creative, forward thinking that embraces diversity : arts, regular events, the nature of local non-profit organizations and the local press. And who is in local power --is it homogenous or is there some power sharing in decision-making how public funds are spent, etc. Sometimes if a town/city has 1-2 local universities /colleges with strong programs that draw students internationally, can be a help. For myself, it's a source of learning by taking a course or 2. Online learning does have it's limits, at times.

I probably would get bored living in small, homogenous very small towns...after awhile. I don't need constant external stimulation but my personal inspiration is drawn from interacting with a broad range of people, what they do also. So more local diversity helps me grow too.

[Pax]

It's about 5 hours south of me, I think.

You are at least close to St. Augustine. That's a beautiful town. Ever been there?

We've been there several times, it's lovely!

Like you I lean farther left than the party, I'm interested in primarily LGBT issues and while there is some action on that here, it's very subtle. Coming from a major university town I'm used to huge amounts of activity on the issue, and also tremendous diversity. Here, I actually find myself driving through what locals refer to as "the bad part of town" just so I can even momentarily connect with people of another race.

I'm still job hunting, since 55 is too young to be done unless you're well off, my hope is I'll find something with a decent salary so maybe we can keep this place for the winters and escape to civilization for another part of the year.

[Aromig]

Sometimes I find myself expressing opinions so I don't "lose" myself. At least at work (where I seem to spend a pretty substantial amount of time) I'm surrounded by the conservative, old white male network. I sometimes voice my opinion so they KNOW I'm different, so they stop assuming that I'll just adopt their opinion, and so I remind myself that these aren't my values. When we have disagreements I rarely win, but it makes me feel better (and I feel less like I "lost" when decisions don't go my way) if I make sure that I've expressed my opinion. Other times I'll express my opinion (at least when we're making decisions) because I feel very vehement about something and I feel that change is a process and it can't start if I don't at least speak up. While I might lose the point, the next time the discussion is a little bit easier and eventually I might win.

[rebeccaC]

Here, I actually find myself driving through what locals refer to as "the bad part of town" just so I can even momentarily connect with people of another race.

I spend time each week in some of the more poverty stricken areas of south central los angeles having conversations and making meaningful connections while either doing community based non-profit work or my photography. It’s some of the most satisfying time I spend! It has touched many parts of my life and given me a sense of being part of and doing meaningful community work in a holistic and caring way.

[Helene2013]

my question is why do you express it? Why not? :)

Are you hoping to change someone's views:
Depending on discussion, maybe! Or give them food for thought. They may seem to brush off an idea but sometimes, in the back of their head the little mouse is spinning. i.e. I used to be very involved in the fight against puppy mills. Did a lot of sensitization, booths, etc. Show them what this is all about and how as a community, we can turn things around. It took years of frustration. I had to get away from it as it started affecting my life (I was "just" a volunteer) and others kept the fight and it paid off in Quebec. Lots of petstores now don't get their pets from mills, but come now from shelters. So yes, I will voice and do what I have to do when I know my fight is worth it. Even if only one person out of 500 walk the talk, it is a won battle. Not the war, but better for this major problem.

I always try to use the positive approach and would never want to take down someone who is not on my side. But I can be pushy and come up with very valid reasons to prove my point. If I am unsure, I will do my homework and come back later, if still needed.

Would I get into a conversation if not ask? It depends of the subject.

I ask because recently I've been subjected to others uninvited/unwelcome opinions and it got me thinking about why they felt the need to share their thoughts and opinions, what they hoped to gain from it. Why they believe their opinion has any relevance.

[Pax]

I just realized I hadn't answered my own questions.


I understand everyone has an opinion, I also understand it is your "right" to express it; my question is why do you express it? Are you hoping to change someone's views, find common ground, validate your process, degrade someone else, create an open dialog?
Why - because words, chosen carefully, can have transformative powers on both the speaker and the listener.

Generally I hope to find common ground or failing that, to educate, to create an open dialog.

I'm not a fan of arguing and confrontation;

- In person I have enough mental quickness, verbal skills, and strength of personality to decimate most of the people I encounter. I enjoyed that when I was younger and going toe to toe with a bigot, now I'm tired, now I want peace.

- Arguing online is pointless unless you know the person IRL, you don't know their motivations, their true thoughts/beliefs, and many times you end up getting involved in a debate with someone who has no real interest in the topic, they just enjoy argument.

[Crankin]

Murienn, I laughed at your last sentence. Geez, if you can't be tolerant for one's love of Palak Paneer, then it's over! Seriously, liberal dogma can be just as intolerant as conservative rubbish. And, people do get quite upset about food these days. I freaked out one of my friends (the one I don't really like anymore) when I announced that i had stopped eating beef/pork/veal. I still eat poultry and fish, but my diet is more and more vegetarian. Now, every conversation about food has to mention my choices. I am not doing this for political reasons, so if someone served me meat, and I was starving, I'd eat it. Well, at least they are in Savannah, a place I love.
I am lucky that in my career, and especially my particular workplace, is very liberal. The clinic admin person, who I often eat lunch with, seems like a regular person, but I have heard her spew horrible vitriol about the president. If I ever hear anything like that now, I leave the room. The teachers on my teams at my last school were very liberal. The only beef I had with some of the other people is that all they did was talk about their family and complain about their husbands. I can't stand that. I am actually very careful to not talk about politics, with anyone at work. You never know.

[Pax]

Crankin - remembering the very liberal place my old profession was, I'm dusting off my mental health resume and considering giving it another go. It's been nine years since I left the profession but I imagine I could still be a decent case manager. Might even consider getting my MSW if the agency is a good one... at 55 I still need to work a while so it might be worth it.

[Crankin]

My agency hires case managers for people living independently in supported situations or group homes. It is not clinical work, but very rewarding none the less. Some of them have master degrees and eventually become a therapist at centers like where I work. I am an LMHC, so I don't know the specifics about MSW programs, but I'd say, unless the pay difference between a bachelors and masters level case worker is great, or, you eventually want to become a clinician, don't go back to school. On the other hand, I went back to school at your age. I think the difference between a MSW and a degree in clinical mental health counseling is that my training is all clinical; there are no other tracks. We take our licensing exam as soon as we graduate and then it's just a matter of getting your hours, to be fully licensed (along with the internship hours during school). MSWs seem to have to go through 2 stages, first pass the LSW test, then work more and do the LICSW hours and test. And, if you stay in community mental health as a licensed clinician, the pay is not great, unless you find one of the rare places that pays salaries instead of FFS. This is why all of the younger people I went to school with have their own practices now. I don't want anything to do with the business part of that, especially the insurance part, so I am lucky this is a second "give back" career for me. I imagine there is opportunity in Florida, for both case workers and clinicians, because as opposed to where I live, there aren't as many people with the training. It sounds like a good plan, especially to connect with like minded people.

[Pax]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I worked eleven years with mentally ill homeless adults, everything from crisis intervention to housing development. In IL I was listed by the state as an MHP (mental health professional) which is bachelors level with something like 1000 hours of supervised clinical work. Don't think FL has anything like that, seems to be straightforward - HS diploma = case aid/healthcare tech, Bachelors = case manager, Masters = counselor and with some licensing, therapist.

I'd prefer not to return to school as the time and cost would not pay off before retirement, but I would enjoy the more intense clinical aspect.

[Crankin]

Murienn, I don't understand why that woman was snarky about you coming to the Thanksgiving Potluck. Because it's a holiday, and people might have brought good food, like you did? Oy. She sounds in need of my services... this is why I think I am actually more moderate in my beliefs about a lot of things. How can someone bash their own mother for thinking milk is important? A lot of people, not even just older people, think like that. My reasons for drifting toward vegetarianism are strictly for health. I understand the political part of it, but unlike you, I don't know a lot about farming. There is a strong small farming community around here, and while I support many of the local farms during their seasons, some of the other shoppers are so strident when I go to shop, it bothers me. We also have a well known natural foods/health store in West Concord. There are several products I buy there, because it's the only place I can find them, but I go to the farms for produce. The organic produce at this store is so expensive, I just won't buy it. I don't bad mouth the place at all, the owner is very active in the community, and my son (the ex-Marine) worked there in HS, and they were extremely nice to him.
I remember the drive from Beaufort to Savannah as boring and kind of long. I have never been to Charleston. I hated HHI/Bluffton immensely, although I even went back the year after the boot camp graduation, as we bid on a vacation there and we won a week stay at a condo in the ritzy gated community at the end of the island. This is where we almost got arrested riding our road bikes on the road!

[ny biker]

If we were talking opinions on movies, restaurants, which season of the year is the best, whether I need a new bike and if so what kind... well those are opinions I share for the sake of sharing useful information or just making conversation. But from reading this thread so far, we're not talking about those kinds of opinions.

I generally refrain from discussing my opinions on hot topics. In part this is because I don't expect to change the minds of anyone who disagrees with me -- I'm not very good at being persuasive and frankly I don't think most people are open to changing their opinions. I think most of the people I know who do discuss politics, religion, etc are either assuming I agree with them or hoping I agree with them/validate them. I am also non-confrontational -- I just don't like to argue with people.

[Crankin]

I agree, there is a difference between liberal and Democratic (they don't describe the same thing), but I just thought you might meet even one like-minded person. Given the range of people I met in your area, the woman I met in that office left an indelible memory. She told me SC was turning into a purple state!

[Crankin]

My son was pissed that I wore that button to graduation and family day, but I did. And, he is back to being normal now, despite the fact he switched teams and is now in Army ROTC and Reserves. Of course, 12 years, going to a selective liberal arts college, and life in general has a way of redirecting you. I always laugh at his military toughness, when he's a Suburu driving, wine sipping, NPR listener... just can't take that boy out of his New England ways.

[Pax]

... I always laugh at his military toughness, when he's a Suburu driving, wine sipping, NPR listener...

I love this mental image!

[OakLeaf]

Ugh. Yeah. Much (though not all) of my depressive episode this fall was triggered by having to cut off several relationships because the events of this summer really brought out people's bigotries. As a straight, cis, thin-ish, able-bodied, for all intents and purposes white person, I'd been able to form friendships - not close, but still what I'd consider friendships - with these people having no idea how much hate they harbored inside. The loss and the feeling of isolation were distressing, but also I felt disappointed in myself for choosing to move to such a segregated area, and for letting my privilege blind me to what these people were really about.

To answer your original question - for myself, it really depends on the context. I might express an opinion for any of the reasons you posited, with the exception of belittling someone, which I really try not to do - e.g. on FB, I might "like" a funny post that someone else shares, but I rarely share them myself. But my sense of why strangers make unsolicited hateful comments is that THEY are feeling isolated these days. Hate is not as fashionable as it used to be, and public expressions of hate are frowned upon in most circles. So when they feel like they can get away with it, they say something just to "enjoy" their ability to say it.

[ny biker]

I've been good friends for many years with someone who recently decided she would no longer keep her "unpopular" opinions a secret. Unfortunately some of these newly-voiced thoughts are quite hateful toward immigrants and some religions. It made me reevaluate the friendship. I still see her, but not nearly as often, by my choice. It does make me sad.

[shootingstar]

Ugh. Yeah. Much (though not all) of my depressive episode this fall was triggered by having to cut off several relationships because the events of this summer really brought out people's bigotries. As a straight, cis, thin-ish, able-bodied, for all intents and purposes white person, I'd been able to form friendships - not close, but still what I'd consider friendships - with these people having no idea how much hate they harbored inside. The loss and the feeling of isolation were distressing, but also I felt disappointed in myself for choosing to move to such a segregated area, and for letting my privilege blind me to what these people were really about

It can be painful /slightly bewildering and the older we get, sometimes making new, long lasting friendships takes time.




To answer your original question - for myself, it really depends on the context. I might express an opinion for any of the reasons you posited, with the exception of belittling someone, which I really try not to do - e.g. on FB, I might "like" a funny post that someone else shares, but I rarely share them myself. But my sense of why strangers make unsolicited hateful comments is that THEY are feeling isolated these days. Hate is not as fashionable as it used to be, and public expressions of hate are frowned upon in most circles. So when they feel like they can get away with it, they say something just to "enjoy" their ability to say it.

I highlighted your comment in red: good point.

Much of my comments on local community does pertain to face-to-face in person relationships. However I appreciate some great dialogue on various topics over the years in this forum..some topics I wouldn't think of asking /discussing with other women face to face. Not because I'm don't want to,I didn't realize certain things happened or personally never experienced certain things.

[lph]

My job largely consists of listening to a lot of people's opinions, sifting through them, and making a hopefully balanced decision. As such I'm pretty tolerant of people voicing their opinions, personally I have as strong opinions as anyone - and then some. In general conversation though I think the big challenge is not if you voice your opinion, but whether you do so acknowledging that someone else may have a different opinion that they truly believe is equally right and important. There's a huge difference between "I believe X is the best way of doing something " and "X is clearly the only way of doing something".

However there are a few topics I really don't feel are up for debate in the first place. If the scientific consensus is overwhelming on a certain topic, sure you can still discuss it, but I don't really see the point, unless you happen to be an expert on the subject.

[GLC1968]

If we were talking opinions on movies, restaurants, which season of the year is the best, whether I need a new bike and if so what kind... well those are opinions I share for the sake of sharing useful information or just making conversation. But from reading this thread so far, we're not talking about those kinds of opinions.

I generally refrain from discussing my opinions on hot topics. In part this is because I don't expect to change the minds of anyone who disagrees with me -- I'm not very good at being persuasive and frankly I don't think most people are open to changing their opinions. I think most of the people I know who do discuss politics, religion, etc are either assuming I agree with them or hoping I agree with them/validate them. I am also non-confrontational -- I just don't like to argue with people.

This.

In fact, differing opinions on basic lifestyle choices (and people's need to share) is ultimately the reason we left Greensboro, NC for the PNW. It's amazing how where you sit on the political spectrum can be viewed so differently depending on the opinions of those around you. When we moved here, we weren't necessarily looking for others who were just like us except for maybe in their ability to tolerate all types. Diversity makes life interesting. :)

[ny biker]

Diversity makes life interesting. :)

I totally agree, though I suspect that some people I know find it downright unsettling.

[Pax]

I so miss diversity! People from different backgrounds, different races/creeds/orientations, different world views.

[Crankin]

More than downright unsettling. A lot of people find diversity agitating and scary. Anything or anyone different from themselves is seen as alien. There are members of my own extended family whom I have actually seen get visibly shaken/frightened when seeing a physically handicapped child enjoying time on a beach. These same people see those who speak other languages as "weird." When I mentioned that both of my children are fluent in other languages and it is an asset for them in the real world, well, they were silenced for a minute, and then told that it was OK, because they learned it in school.
Huh?

[OakLeaf]

I so miss diversity! People from different backgrounds, different races/creeds/orientations, different world views.

Oh man, you triggered a memory from 35 years ago when I was newly out of college and living in a small Ohio River town, working in a natural food store. There was a small college and a couple of freeway exits, so once in a while non-local people would come in to shop. On the rare occasions when a nonwhite person or a same-sex couple would walk into the store, I'd feel like Dorothy landing in Oz, with everything all of a sudden in color.

[Helene2013]

I'm glad to have worked for the most part of my life in offices where multi-cultural, diversity, same-sex, etc were all business as usual. And now in this law firm, they even created a diversity committee and they are very strong about it. For me, all of this is "normal". I don't know if because Montreal is already so diversified that I never felt any other way. Many of my friends are gays, lesbians, black, ethnics, various religions and I could not care less. To me, they are humans just like me. With their goods and their flaws. I love my "world". But I cannot say the same about my 2 siblings (brothers) who are 100% opposite of me. That is one the reasons they are no longer in my life. I have nothing to gain from haters and such.

[Pax]

Oh man, you triggered a memory from 35 years ago when I was newly out of college and living in a small Ohio River town, working in a natural food store. There was a small college and a couple of freeway exits, so once in a while non-local people would come in to shop. On the rare occasions when a nonwhite person or a same-sex couple would walk into the store, I'd feel like Dorothy landing in Oz, with everything all of a sudden in color.

I hear you! I saw a gay couple at the grocery store recently, they were black, I almost ran over and hugged them. LOL Instead I contented myself with grinning like an idiot at them, they grinned back just as big. :D

[GLC1968]

I hear you! I saw a gay couple at the grocery store recently, they were black, I almost ran over and hugged them. LOL Instead I contented myself with grinning like an idiot at them, they grinned back just as big. :D

This makes me look for a 'like' button!

I just recently dyed my hair partially teal and a good portion of it is shaved to a '2'. I cannot wait to go to the corporate offices of my company (in Greensboro, NC again!) and see the reaction I get from the predominantly white, male, old-boy network. I expect shocked looks and if I don't get it, I'm going to be disappointed! ;)

[Blueberry]

I just recently dyed my hair partially teal and a good portion of it is shaved to a '2'. I cannot wait to go to the corporate offices of my company (in Greensboro, NC again!) and see the reaction I get from the predominantly white, male, old-boy network. I expect shocked looks and if I don't get it, I'm going to be disappointed! ;)

This needs a photo (Facebook, perhaps?). Sounds cool!

[Crankin]

I can see it, GLC. And make sure you tell us about the reaction you get from those old guys.
I just got my hair cut and styled slightly differently. It is not really much shorter, except on the sides, but it's way more edgy. My friends are freaked out.

[Trek420]

I so miss diversity! People from different backgrounds, different races/creeds/orientations, different world views.

This. It's one of the things I miss about the Bay Area. I love the PNW but it's oh so very white where we are. Whether it's food, friends or community I find myself wondering "where is everybody?". That's the other thing about the move to a new condo we're considering, we just made an offer. What will the community be like there?

[salsabike]

On a completely frivolous note, and in the best thread drift tradition, here's my current haircut, which I think is kind of a hoot. (Sorry about that tongue-sticking out--just a photo by-product :) ).

https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1556/24421988726_0d651e8d9b_n.jpg ("[url=https://flic.kr/p/Dd65p9)

And on a more thread-relevant note: Sometimes I voice my opinion after I've heard a cluster of the-same-opinions from a group of people, when I become concerned that different points of view aren't on the radar.

[Pax]

Trek - hope the new place is full of great stuff, and no whacko neighbors!

Salsa - Love the cut... and the drift. ;)

[rebeccaC]

https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1556/24421988726_0d651e8d9b_n.jpg ("[url=https://flic.kr/p/Dd65p9)


magnetic poetry ftw!! :).....and nice hair stylin' too :D

[Trek420]

Trek - hope the new place is full of great stuff, and no whacko neighbors!

Thanks. There's always one in the complex but it's never been a paranoid schizophrenic deposed nun before. :roll eyes: The new place is around some great stuff and of course near the Burke Gillman. Right now it's up to the seller. We should hear in a day or so if they take our offer. If they don't accept it, we'll find another. Knott is nervous about it but it'll work out, this one or another spot. We go back to court to extend the restraining order on CCN (crazy condo neighbor) on Thursday.


Salsa - Love the cut... and the drift. ;)

Love the cut, Salsa. Very fun.

[Pax]

Thanks. There's always one in the complex but it's never been a paranoid schizophrenic deposed nun before. :roll eyes: The new place is around some great stuff and of course near the Burke Gillman. Right now it's up to the seller. We should hear in a day or so if they take our offer. If they don't accept it, we'll find another. Knott is nervous about it but it'll work out, this one or another spot. We go back to court to extend the restraining order on CCN (crazy condo neighbor) on Thursday.

Fingers crossed for you, you've been through the ringer with CCN, a fresh start will be good for the soul.

[GLC1968]

On a completely frivolous note, and in the best thread drift tradition, here's my current haircut, which I think is kind of a hoot. (Sorry about that tongue-sticking out--just a photo by-product :) ).

https://farm2.staticflickr.com/1556/24421988726_0d651e8d9b_n.jpg ("[url=https://flic.kr/p/Dd65p9)

And on a more thread-relevant note: Sometimes I voice my opinion after I've heard a cluster of the-same-opinions from a group of people, when I become concerned that different points of view aren't on the radar.

Hey - that's really similiar to mine but for the color!
17935

Oh, and I did want to mention that I was discussing this with a friend the other day...how it's really white up here. My world is actually quite racially diverse but that's because I work in tech (and live very close to it)...but there is a severe shortage of racial diversity once you leave my neighborhood, for sure. Not sure why that is but it struck me the last time I was in Boston/Atlanta/Chicago how very different Portland looks in comparison (some ways good, other ways bad!).

[zoom-zoom]

Ahhh...this is what I love about you ladies -- I believe I would feel totally at home in a community full of the likes of this group.

Unfortunately I live in the uppity WASP Bible belt of West MI. And the older I get, the less comfortable I feel here. I have lived here more than half my life, but it's never felt like home. And it doesn't help that I loathe Winter and overcast skies. We have more than our fair share of that, here.

I dream of living in the desert SW and being a big of a hermit with DH and our bikes and cats.

[salsabike]

Boy, GLC, that haircut and color look great!

It's also way white here for me, having grown up in NY. When I go back east, I just bask in the ethnic richness--and the cultural and behavioral differences too. Love living here, but seriously miss that.

But also, in the spirit of what I said above about when I express my opinion--this region can be rather intolerant of viewpoints other than the very progressive. That is one way to dampen diversity that is not often mentioned but that matters to me. I have some moderate Republican friends who care about all the same things the rest of us do, although their beliefs about solutions may be different, and they feel pretty unwelcome. That bothers me, and I think it actually creates problems that we all pay for later.

[Blueberry]

I'm loving the haircuts! GLC - you look great! Salsa - that looks so fun!

This is a really interesting perspective for me. I've lived in the "south" my whole life. DH and I are starting to dream about where we might want to wind up for residency/fellowship and beyond (yes, it's early. yes, there's the match. but - I want to know what places look like so I can rank appropriately in - oh - 3 years). Anyway - there is logic. And travel is fun. Please keep the comments coming!

Trek - good luck with the new place, and with the crazy lady! Will you sell your current place or rent it out, if you get the new one?

[salsabike]

I'm loving the haircuts! GLC - you look great! Salsa - that looks so fun!

This is a really interesting perspective for me. I've lived in the "south" my whole life. DH and I are starting to dream about where we might want to wind up for residency/fellowship and beyond (yes, it's early. yes, there's the match. but - I want to know what places look like so I can rank appropriately in - oh - 3 years). Anyway - there is logic. And travel is fun. Please keep the comments coming!

Trek - good luck with the new place, and with the crazy lady! Will you sell your current place or rent it out, if you get the new one?

Blueberry, come visit! This area has an extremely well developed health care sector (the Pacific Northwest). And the weather is--for me--delightfully moderate. Ride all year round. :)

Edit--oh, wait. You ARE coming. To Portland soon. To Seattle later. Perfect!

[Trek420]

Trek - good luck with the new place, and with the crazy lady! Will you sell your current place or rent it out, if you get the new one?

Right now we're planning to keep the place and rent it out. For one thing because it will drive CCN right up the freaking wall. I am sure our tenants will be safe. We have chosen a property manager, the restraining order still stands as we own the unit and she is focussed on Knot anyway.

It must be that she likes tall, brilliant, beautiful blondes. The one that got away in the nunnery. :cool:

If we sold right now we'd make bank but while anything can happen in real estate for several reason we feel the values in the area will go up. I'm extremely nervous but still both seem a good investment. And she's 70+ and in poor health so while I wish her well in the spiritual sense of the universe we could move back someday.

Old and new pad are about a half hour bike ride apart so we can swing by and take a look around and make sure walls still stand.

So, if you're in or around or moving to Seattle and interested in a one bedroom bike able condo apartment that takes pets pm me.

[Blueberry]

So, if you're in or around or moving to Seattle and interested in a one bedroom bike able condo apartment that takes pets pm me.

Maybe in the summer of 2019 (when I finish med school and go through the match). :p Until then, I'm not so mobile!