Gifted Children & School: parenting advice

[Miranda]

Hello Ladies:). I don't usually post topics like this, but know there are a lot of moms on this board that can maybe share their insight.

I have a child that has been tested, and selected at the elementary school level as being "gifted". This is above the schools normal high ability students. The gifted class consists of one per grade level for all the school system. Stats wise that works out to be the top 2%.

Both of my children have done well in school, but for this child, my youngest, the circumstances of the test results still blow me away. Very long winter for the household with medical issues. My child that has been selected was seriously ill and as a result missed an entire grading period, many days after that, and still tested in the 99th percentile on this gifted test. Statistically, that's hard to ignore.

I am torn in other ways with the pros and cons of the program if my child is ready for it. The big mom question: "Will my baby be ok?" Maybe I'm more protective now after the health issue (it was serious, heart related).

The program involves communting and changing home schools. Earlier and later bus schedule, seperation from the sibling, leaving all friends and things familiar, etc. The classroom is "open concept" (no walls, petitions). Which the teacher said is a negative for distraction, vs our current school. Both of my children are so sensitive, and emotional. You would think homework would be a breeze, but it usually brings tears. The act of leaving the house to run an errand, or sometimes even have a playmate over is too much for my son. He will say, "Mommy, I'm just so tired when I get home from school, I want to be home". He is spent. This was also pre-illness, btw.

Frankly, I understand exactly what he is saying. I feel the same. My meter can only take so much, then I need my pedaling to clear my head. Ironically, one of the very first things DS does after exiting the bus is get his bike helmet and ask, "mommy, can I ride my bike now?". Yep... you betcha. DH and I both were high ability, maybe the emotinal state comes with it?

I just worry it will be too much for him. Everyone in the family is against it due to the school change. I'm in the decision alone if I sent him. There are parent's that would give their eye teeth to get into this program. With my son's test results showing that the normal schooling can not meet his identified needs (this is how the school words it), it seems foolish not to proceed. Just part of mommy heart is fighting with my logically brain at what to do.

Thanks for any thoughts.

Miranda

[bouncybouncy]

My cousin's child was in the same position. He is highly intelligent but somewhat slow on the emotional side, he is diabetic and gluten intolerant which made for added issues.

The child was reading a grade ahead of his classmates and seemed to grasp science easily! He understands and usually can explain his diabetes better than his teachers. But socially he struggled, not too much but enough for my cousin to just leave him where he is. She does continue to challenge him at home. In the future when he has a better grasp on his emotions he can help with any decisions in this matter.

Have you asked your son what he wants?

***sorry for any grammar issues...I was not one of the gifted:D

[singletrackmind]

You're going to have to go with your instincts on this one, nobody knows your child better than you do 'cept maybe your child. What does he say?

My niece loves loves loves the gifted program at her school, but she is only away from regular school part-time so didn't have to give friends up.

From my regular public schooling point of view, it's hard work to be bored beyond belief yet still be made to sit still and pay attention 8 hours a day.

[indigoiis]

He can always go into an advanced program later.
Let him be a kid for now. Sounds like he appreciates the comforts of home and his familliar school and friends, and time with you.
And there is a lot you can do over and above what the schools are doing to homeschool while he is at home... activities geared toward helping him succeed at whatever it is he is good at.

[OakLeaf]

I can't speak to the mom end of it, but having skipped a grade and been in accelerated classes in elementary school, I'm very strongly opposed to it.

A child can get academic education anywhere, and a motivated child will do so. But children don't have a choice about where they get their social and emotional development, and they don't know any better than to follow adults' lead as to whether those things are even important.

Keep him with kids his own age. That's even more critically important because his medical issues have apparently isolated him somewhat. Keep him exposed to a diverse group of kids - not just kids scoring high on so-called "intelligence" tests, who are also likely to belong to a certain demographic (not because that demographic is any "better" than any others, but because that's what the tests screen for).

Let him know that his academic (and/or artistic) performance is no more important to you than the quality and continuity of his friendships, his comfort and security with his school, his physical health and fitness, his general delight in life.

If he's bored in school, you can supplement his school work with related education. Whatever he's interested in, pick a topic to investigate in more depth. He can share his projects with his classmates and teachers if time and interest permit, or just keep it in the family. But if you keep it related to what he's doing in school, then he'll have something to focus his attention if classwork seems to be going too slowly for him.

Just my $.02

[spotlightmama]

Do they have gifted classes at his current school? Even if they aren't quite as robust as the ones at this new school, it would be a compromise.

IMO, "education" is defined in many ways. I think people tend to focus too much on book learning - the best parts of my education came from real life (and I'm an Ivy League graduate, lol). If it were my child, I would probably wait until he was a little older. OakLeaf makes an excellent point that a motivated child will find places to learn. I grew up on Florida's education system! :eek: He will find learning in family, nature, and life in general. Let him be a kid for a little longer and make this choice when it's better for him. That's my $0.02, at least.

[HoosierGiant]

Both my girls were repeatedly tested and determined to be reading at a 12th-grade level while in 1st grade. Obviously, that translated into high performance across the curriculum. But, our school corporation does not offer accelerated/gifted & talented programs until 3rd grade. Was that a problem for us? No. We have always been educationally minded and did all we could to supplement their education outside the classroom.

I tell you that, not because I want to brag about my girls (I detest that whole look-what-my-kid-can-do trap that so many parents fall into), but only to help emphasize my point. I have always told my girls that everyone's a genius about something, and everyone's a complete idiot about something -- wisdom comes in being able to ascertain where your strengths and weaknesses lie and work with them accordingly. That being said, there's a wealth of learning that takes place in a classroom comprised of students at a variety of academic levels.

Both my girls are quiet and reserved; we chose not to advance them to higher grades because we weren't certain we wanted to have to deal with some of the social issues that would rear their heads once they were approaching high school. The option we chose was to take each of them out of public school after 1st grade. We just completed our sixth year of homeschooling, and have loved every minute of it.

There's so much more to education than test performance and grades, and only you know your child well enough to make these types of decisions. But, having agonized over these same issues in the past, I empathize. Wishing you the best!!

[alpinerabbit]

I was an overachiever in elementary school. Gifted did not exist yet, and I wasn't very social. I hated my classmates because they hated me for being (one of) the best.
I don’t know if it would have helped me – the infrastructure just wasn’t there.

Thanks to my brains I had no struggle all through H.S. and I am happy for that. Sometimes I think it is best to let your kid perform to the level they can achieve with ease instead of pushing them. This is just a comment on "other parents", as your kid seems to have an easy time.

If your kid is happy with his classmates, that is very important as well.
He can always skip a grade later and get the chance now to develop his social skills. I would have given my talent for having more friends for sure.

The tiredness could mean he is stressed, and the change would stress him more. Yes to giving him stuff to do. Art class, learn an instrument (although maybe not -that is extra stress), some other group (maybe not - he says he feels tired). I had loads of extra activities that I enjoyed: violin, pottery, girl scouts. NO SPORTS.

[mimitabby]

what wonderful advice here!

let him be a kid! he's at the 98th percentile because of what he's doing at home. so keep doing that and let him enjoy school. Not going into a gifted program now isn't going to keep him out of Harvard!

If he was excited about it, i'd have a different opinion.

[Eden]

As other's say it totally depends on the child and everyone has differing experiences. For me it was a very good experience. I was one of those kids who probably would have been too bored to pay enough attention otherwise (oh heck - I know I wouldn't have paid attention... I had notebooks full of drawings rather than notes from some of my mainstream classes...). I've also always been quick and regular classrooms/teachers aren't always equipped to handle a kid that finishes their work too fast.... (I did a lot of reading on my own, not terrible as I liked to read, but still I might have been better served by other school work?) I get the feeling I would have started hating school pretty early had I not been in the accelerated classes - ours were one day a week at a different school through middle school, some separate classes in middle school and all separate classes in high school.
As far as social issues go, I agree with Alpinerabbit.... leaving a smart kid in regular classes usually doesn't make them particularly popular or give them a rewarding social life. Being in accelerated classes certainly won't guarantee a kid friends and it can be competitive, but at least the kids don't get picked on for being the smart one or learn to not act as smart as they are do they don't get picked on.

[Irulan]

You don't say how old your kid is, and I think that is a crucial element.

I too have gifted kids. The boredom set in early (first grade) and who the teacher was made all the difference. Some teachers couldn't cope ( ie, tell them to go read a book or go help another kid when they finished their work first) and some were great, constantly coming up with alternative activities and challenges.

Our district starts testing in first grade, offers a one day program for grades 2-4, and then has a magnet school option for grades 5-8. This is a good set up for developmental issues I think.

If he's not bored yet, you might wait.

My opinion is that if you have the option of taxpayer funded education to grab it and don't' look back. Here's why:
-The teacher are specialists in dealing with GATE (Gifted And Talented Education) kids and their issues, whether it perfectionism, excessive curiosity, sensitivity to overstimulation and so on. They understand how to augment and expand the curriculum to challenge and inspire kids.
-they will be with kids like themselves: intelligent, curious, sensitive, a multitude of talents, and they won't be picked on or tortured by the other kids for it.
If you think this kind of behavior isn't in the schools, you are fooling yourself.
-they will develop confidence and self esteem in their unique talents, instead of trying to hide them or fly under the radar because they are different.

Sending my boys to a magnet GATE program provided by our district for grades 5-8 was the best thing we ever did for them. Those years are the worst, middle school, and they had a chance to really become sure of who they were without all the social drama that in endemic in most middle schools.

As for the argument of pulling them out of the home school takes them away from their friends and social life.... I think it's ridiculous. They make new friends at school, from a broader swath of the community, with kids more like themselves. Our GATE school pulled from the whole district, so the boys got to be friends with kids from all over the city – much more diverse socially, culturally and economically than our neighborhood school. I thought it was great to see my kids appreciate others talents and gifts; it made them very comfortable in their own skins.

I'm concerned by the comments that you son is "tired" and home work is a problem. Why? "Tired" can be depressed from a bad day at school. Homework can be a struggle if it is boring, stupid or pointless. Now this is pure speculation, and I did have one who was very easily over stimulated. No matter where he was he always needed some down time to recuperate.

I really support gifted education: we have family members who were talented and bored out of their skulls, which translated into acting out, drug use and eventually dropping out. I support giving a gifted kid all they can handle, within reason, and making sure they have balance in their lives. By balance, I mean making sure the bookworm has a sport or outside activity that they like to do and don’t spend all their time on the sofa reading. I am also very lucky in that we have an excellent program in our district, and understand that not everyone has access to that.

And while not sending your kid to a gifted program won’t eliminate his chances of success, my personal feeling is that supporting their talents as much as possible gives them the tools they need to really understand and use their giftedness. My youngest, who graduates on Sunday, has earned himself almost $50K in merit scholarships this year – he loves to study hard, and sees the benefit of application. I believe some of this is from teachers supporting his intense curiosity in science and math, and helping him to go as far as he possibly can with it.

Sorry for the novel.

[Veronica]

I enjoyed the novel. :)

V.

[F8th637]

I tested three times in elementary school for the gifted program and always felt a little short. It wasn't until I was retested again in high school that I was finally accepted in. My best friend and a lot of my close friends were in the gifted program and the only difference that I noticed was that a couple days a week they would go to the gifted school. The projects they worked on always sounded really cool too. It sounds like this program that you are considering for your child is a lot different than that one.

What I really wanted to comment on was that it sounds like both you and your son are introverts. People are surprised when I tell them that I am because they automatically think introverts are quiet and shy. Introverts actually need a lot of quiet, recovery time after social interaction. I think that is why by the end of the work week I am exhausted and in a foul mood. After social events like weddings I need like 2 days to recover. That is probably why your son likes his bike rides. Quiet time to him self doing what he loves. Ultimately, I think you should see what he wants to do. I would do some research on being an introvert. I will try to find the name of this book I read on the subject but here is a good link too: http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/43309/being_an_introvert_in_an_extroverted.html. I think if you are able to work with a teacher at the school that can understand how to deal with an introverted, highly gifted child that would be the best scenario. I am really going to find info on that book. I think it will help you and your family out.

ETA: Here is the website of the author of the book I was talking about The Introvert Advantage: http://www.theintrovertadvantage.com/. I borrowed that book from the library and realizing I'm an introvert has been a God-send for me.

[Chile Pepper]

As others have mentioned, the age of the kid will make all the difference. My younger son was born with a severe heart defect. His first three years were hellish, and then he had his last open heart surgery during the summer before kindergarten. He went through months of severe anxiety, and he still (a year and a half later) is less confident than his older brother. He is also very sociable, but not as rough-and-tumble as most of the boys in his class. He gets along with most kids, but he's a follower, not a leader. I can't imagine him being in a class of older kids--socially, he would not fit in despite being very sociable and generally getting along great with his older brother. But then, he isn't in the gifted range, and I suspect he might be borderline ADD (which is fairly common following open heart surgery). Depending on what your son has been through heart-wise, this may just not be a good time for major changes.

[Irulan]

I enjoyed the novel. :)

V.

V- I was so happy to hand my kids off to their teachers! After all these folks are specialists in dealing with gifted kids, and they knew what to do with them.

Unless you've ever locked yourself into a bathroom to get away from a small child with insatiable curiosity you may not know what I am talking about.:D

[trickytiger]

I was lucky enough to get to participate in a one-day-a week program as a child (we moved to the state too late for me to get into the full-time program), and I can honestly say it pretty much saved me. I was shy, shy, shy, and a little socially awkward. Being an athlete saved me socially, but in terms of friends and a supportive learning environment, that one-day-a week challenge program paid off well. I learned to deal with the change in schools. Plus, twenty years later, I still have some of the same friends I met back then. :)

[Triskeliongirl]

I think being in a gifted program can really help a student who would be bored by a standard currculum.

Our daughter was in a public school, and very bored with school (the next year she was supposed to enter a gifted program, but it was only one day a week which concerned us, wouldn't she still be bored 80% of the time?). So we moved her to a private school in 2nd grade with a full time gifted curriculum. It made a huge difference for her to feel challenged and excited about school again. We started our son in the same program in Kindergarten, and both did very well, not only in primary and secondary school, but found the skills they aquired helped them be very successful at very rigorous colleges.

Its hard to comment on the health issues without more info., only you as his mom know if that will make his participation in the gifted program a problem. But, I would trust the teachers and counselors that feel the gifted program is in his best interests from an educational perspective.

[shootingstar]

what wonderful advice here!

let him be a kid! he's at the 98th percentile because of what he's doing at home. so keep doing that and let him enjoy school. Not going into a gifted program now isn't going to keep him out of Harvard!

If he was excited about it, i'd have a different opinion.

Not knowing his age at all, he SEEMS quite young just based on his behaviour and still needs considerable adult support to feel content and confident...no matter how smart he is.

No need to rush into placing him further up ..if he already has some good teachers and 1-2 good friends. Hope he will latch upon an extra-curricular activity that he can have fun and learn lots from also.

This whole thread made me realize just what type of factors...may actually never reveal a gifted child.

[Mr. SR500]

Nice thread. Our daughter does very well in school, near the top of her class if not the best. That said my wife and I have more education then most and our dearest goal is that she continues to love school. To achieve this we work with teachers, the principle, etc... to keep her challenged in the classroom, but this also includes friends and peers (very important), and extra curricular activities (music, sports, clubs).

I agree ask your son, to much stress so young doesn't really help.

[frnz]

Based on my personal experience, I'd say go for it. It might be difficult for your kid, but learning how to adapt will most likely only help him. I kind of think switching schools every now and then is good for a kid, especially when college rolls around and he suddenly has to learn to make friends. Or it would have been good for me, anywho.

[NbyNW]

Have you had a chance to visit the program that you're considering? Meet the teachers?

Would the school make it difficult for your son to return to his current program if it turns out he's unhappy in the new one?

I'm not a parent (yet), but I was in my district's G&T program from grade one. I loved it. I was bored in my regular classes, and I was not very popular for constantly "showing up" my regular classmates. I'm actually a very shy person who doesn't like attention, but I don't think the teachers knew how to handle that dynamic. I would get put on the spot a lot. Being the only Asian kid in the class didn't help, either.

My G&T program was excellent -- it gave me a safe place to explore my interests. I think I would have been completely miserable without it.

The program was structured so that I was in regular school most of the time, and would step out of the regular schedule to do G&T program stuff once a week during grade school and then it was maybe 1-2 times a month in jr. high and high school.

Sounds like the program that your school district is offering is a completely separate program, building, etc. If that's a concern, maybe there are outside activities that could be another social avenue for him. The points above about being an introvert are well taken, though. There's nothing wrong with being an introvert. So what if we're not social butterflies? We can still form deep, meaningful friendships and relationships. And I would rather be comfortable in solitude than insecure when I'm spending time alone.

As for the social awkwardness, I think that's just part of life and part of growing up. My parents and teachers were not equipped to make that path any smoother for me. You can't protect your kids from everything, but I think as a concerned parent you can support and guide them through experiences that will eventually help them develop into strong, sensitive, and confident adults.

One final point, about this illness that you mentioned -- it sounds like you're concerned that in the aftermath your son might have trouble fully participating in either program he's in? Again, discuss it with the teachers and those who are planning the curriculum.

side note: Where I grew up in Pennsylvania, we had to write an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) every year to participate in our G&T program. This was a requirement to participate in any special needs curricula in public schools, whether in my case it was enrichment, or maybe for another kid it might have been overcoming dyslexia or some other learning disability. I have since learned that in a lot of other states, an IEP is typically associated with special ed/learning disabilities programs.

What does your state require/offer for kids that have your son's special abilities? It may be a pain, but spending a little time learning about the resources available in your community may help you figure out the best way to advocate for your son's needs.

[Miranda]

I have been trying to get back to my thread with the household business. I first of all wanted to say: ***WOW*** . Thank you SO much for you out pouring of thoughts. Any more, feel free to add on:).

I have had my own emotional moments thinking about what to do. Part of it I think I have now figured out is related to some of my own child hood memories of this situaton. I had blocked out part of it I guess. I can remeber being very stressed on some things about performing to high ability. Pushed too hard. Also, I had blanked out the cruelty of other children when you are special. Things like lieing about your high score on test, or praying a teacher would not publically brag on you as a good example because it only leads to ridicule as being a "smarty pants teacher's pet", aka eat lunch by yourself. Bleah. I did a lot of bike riding alone then too.

To answer a few questions raised in responses...
My son completed traditional 1st grade. The program is housed at a magnet school that draws from the entire city. The particulary program runs grades 2-6. It is full time, 5 days a week. The children are the same age in the class. Second graders. But the "gifted" class of second graders from the entire city. The program is suppose to be some special cirriculum developed for gifted kids. It's not just higher grade level work, done at any earlier age. There is said to be a lot of learning done through project work. Example: research an artist, and present it in drama form (dressed as the person). Also, group work.

Next year they are starting a cluster high ability group within home schools. Unfortunatley, it's only grades 3 and 4. The next year, 5 and 6 will be added. Year three, K-6. Those kids get some type of extra work etc. geared towards their abilities within their regular class. So, if this does not pan out, maybe some type of enrichment years to follow. But, not like the gifted child program is layed out from what I can tell.

I did get to speak with the teacher briefly at open house info session. She had a gifted child herself as a mother. She has taught for 19 years. Not sure if all of it is with gifted children, or not. But, I think she has been with the program for a while. I tried to describe the sensitivity to her. She suggested that I go to the library and get some books on the characteristics of gifted children. She said that can be common. Going to do that this w/e.

The school has you sign a commitment letter for the program. Need to do so within the next week. Once in it, you can't just readily get out of it. Due to the general adjustment factor, they ask that you stick it out for a semester or year. Depending on school and class size is up in the air if the child gets to return to their home school.

One of the parents said to me at the meeting this (when I was presenting some "cons"): "Well, I would have driven anywhere, done anything, for my child to get the right education". There's a point to this. It's not all there is to life. I think there's a balance. Maybe being among your "own kind" is a good balance? Still mulling it over.

[NbyNW]

Here's another enrichment program you should know about, although your son may be a bit young yet:

http://cty.jhu.edu/

I went to their summer programs when I was in jr. high/high school. A long, long time ago . . .

These programs were a lifesaver for me -- a very welcome break from a high-pressure environment back home -- made lifelong friends -- even met my DH!

[Ciao]

Glad to hear that the program is full time. That really makes it much easier in my opinion. He'll be going to school - period. Just that the school will be more interesting... Remember, this is 2nd grade we're talking about - the teaching is geared to this age group and there will be art, music, and all sorts of discovery activities. It's early, so he'll make friends easily - rather than later when 'cliques' form after being together for years. Also, starting earlier in the program means there won't be gaps later (in knowledge, skills, etc.).

[My perspective: I too needed my time after school to decompress... But having gone through a G&T program starting from 1st grade (built into our standard public school system in PA) I can say that my gifted classes were far and away the more interesting/stimulating. I still vividly remember some of the "projects" we had in those early classes. :D Another important point is that I related better to these class mates than to others - we had similar family support and social goals (such as going to college/grad school, level of careers, etc.). The differences between these classmates and my friends not in the gifted program were extreme... but that's a symptom of a much larger problem in the US. ]

[Irulan]

I'm going to add one last comment. My son graduated today. This is the one who's 99% percentile in math and science...This is one who went to magnet programs instead of regular school for grades 5-8.

At dinner we were talking about the whole school experience, magnet program vs the kids who were bright who didn't go etc. The most interesting comments he made were 1. The bright kids who stayed in 'regular' school were more likely to hide their intelligence but they did just as well ( mostly) and 2. the number of bright kids who dropped out because of boredom, family issues and or lack of parent support was enough to count on one hand of kids I have known over the years. That part made me sad.

[tc1]

So, I was one of those smarter than everybody kids, in the days before gifted programs. So I lazed through high school, never did homework, spent all my time on sex and drugs and rock and roll. The only thing that saved me was music. If he isn't in band, he's not too young to start studying an instrument.

And I was fortunate enough to go to two open-concept schools, one of which has since been remodeled back into a traditional. They were wonderful for helping me develop phenomenal powers of concentration. My sister hated them, they were too noisy for her.

I would have loved more advanced work. I would still have turned out a dork, I think.

[frnz]

The program is housed at a magnet school that draws from the entire city. The particulary program runs grades 2-6. It is full time, 5 days a week. The children are the same age in the class. Second graders. But the "gifted" class of second graders from the entire city. The program is suppose to be some special cirriculum developed for gifted kids. It's not just higher grade level work, done at any earlier age. There is said to be a lot of learning done through project work. Example: research an artist, and present it in drama form (dressed as the person). Also, group work.

That sounds like a pretty amazing program, in my opinion.

[Andrea]

I was (maybe still am :D) a "gifted" kid. Unlike a lot of the people here- I think that he could be happier/better off in the gifted program. Why? Well, it boils down to the social aspects of school- if you're smart, and it shows, "normal" kids pick on you. So, what do you do? You try to act more "normal" by pretending you aren't smart. If you pretend long enough, you start to believe it.

For me, by 4th grade, I had convinced myself that I couldn't do math. They didn't know whether to keep me in the schools gifted program or to put me in the program for kids with learning disabilities! I eventually overcame my difficulties, but the mindset of keeping myself on the same level of "smarts" as everyone else followed me through high school.

I'm convinced that if I had been encouraged and motivated by peers that were happy to be "smart," then I would have been much more confident in my own brainpower in later years rather than convincing myself that I should hate school, homework, and studying just so I could be more like all the other kids that would pick on me if I acted otherwise.

[Triskeliongirl]

I think the last post is very interesting. As I mentioned before, out kids went to a school with a full time gifted program. What our kids loved about it, and the kids themselves bragged about it, is that its a school where its 'cool to be smart.' I think the sentiments of the last poster reinforce how important that is.

I think this is a great opportunity for your son and family, and unless there are medical issues that haven't been clearly articulated, I think you should give him this opportunity. In addition to being challenged academically, he'll be able to make friends with kids that are like him.

[Miranda]

Thx ladies very much overall. These last couple posts about the friends make a lot of sense.

A couple things have happened since the last post with this. The short conclusion is that I signed the commit letter we will do it...

One, I got to talk first hand with a little girl that has been in the a few years that came from our home school. When I asked her how she liked it, her first words were this: "Really, I don't like it there". DD knows her, and injected in the conversation about DS etc., so we got side tracked about some other questions. I brought her back to comment #1 and said, "why and what?".

One was the social aspect. She said that even though they are with the other students, some pick on them that they are "snobs" and unfriendly. She said, "well, that is wrong because we are friendly, but have just all been together in our special class so long that we know each other well and are really close friends". That made sense, and is to be expected I think. However, it confirms a positive that the kids do develop some close relationship with other gifted children.

Secondly, she said she didn't like the principal. DH and I do know this woman, and I called her with some more questions, from our home school when she was there. DH says, "she's a total ditz head". Communication skills wise, she is. I don't really see DS having that much interation with her. If any real issues, I think I could handle it.

The bus commute is a bummer. She rides the bus 50 minutes each way. She lives not too far from us. I called the transportation department, and unfortunaly, they confirmed we are the furtherest point away. Plus, the bus has other special needs kids. Like potentionally developmentally disabled. I will have to talk to DS about this. His experience is limited. I think I might have it worked out to drive him part of the time. That would be half the ride time.

The 2nd grade teacher the little girl said is "awesome"... the projects were fun, she wasn't board, but didn't feel like she was over burdened, etc. Those things were comforting to hear.

Ironically, while out to dinner for a DS and mommy only "date", we saw one of his old classmates. The boy was so excited to see DS. I didn't even know he was his friend. I had to break it to the boy and mom that he would not be back next year. She has had some issues with one of her children being the opposite end for special needs and potentially going into the developmentally disabled program. Very sweet mom and nice family. Listening to her talk, it made me think later how lucky I am to have the "issue" that I do with my own child and decision.

On that note, I thought, we should give it a try... because we are blessed to even have the "option" of opportunity, regardless of the potential negatives.

Thanks :)
Miranda

[DrBee]

It sounds like you've made a good and well-thought out decision. Give it a year, see how he does, and go from there. Let him be the judge.