True Confessions

[kfergos]

I wanted to share this with somebody because I think talking about it will help, ultimately. So here goes.

Hi. My name is kfergos, and I’m afraid of falling.

In my head I know it’s not that frightening, and my experience with falling -- it must be well over a half-dozen times in the 18 months -- has confirmed this; I’ve never sustained any serious injuries while cycling. Last Saturday I was riding fast down a hill and rode through what looked like a big patch of water. I only realized my mistake as I found myself sliding, face down, along the road for what felt like an eternity. Miraculously, a short visit to the emergency room confirmed my initial assessment: I was fine. In fact, aside from what felt like a minor concussion, I had only one bruise to remember the experience by. I walked away feeling grateful that things had worked out so well.

Now, three cycling days later, I find my fear of slipping on ice has intensified to an almost unbearable level. I can’t trust myself to ride on even what looks like water, because it might be ice. I’ve found myself riding slowly, way out in the middle of the lane where I can see the road is dry for sure. If I have to cross what’s clearly a big patch of ice stretching all the way across the road, I’ll get off and walk across it. I get off and walk across the wooden bridge I cross every morning, because last fall I slipped on it and fell (sustaining, I might add, worse injuries in that fall than I did last Saturday). I see myself turning into a total wuss, despite having bought studded tires, which are almost certainly overkill for the roads I ride on, and I hate that. I’m frustrated. I want to not feel afraid of ice, afraid of riding faster than 10 or 12 miles an hour (which, on a 26-mile roundtrip commute, translates into way too long a ride), afraid of falling. I don’t even know what I’m afraid of, since I’ve fallen and walked away from it virtually unscathed. What I do know is that my courage, so carefully strengthened over months of riding in ice storms and subfreezing weather, shattered in that last icy fall.

I’m not going to stop riding. I won’t let fear rule me. But I’m still afraid, and I hate it.

[mimitabby]

i think a fear of ice is a good thing. a guy i know was going slow because he knew it was icy and he still fell and broke his hip.

[Veronica]

It takes time to overcome fear. I fell down a twenty foot cliff last June stepping off my mountain bike. Now I notice every "cliff", even when I'm riding on the road and have two big lanes between me and the drop off! I still get that tingle of apprehension running through my gut. It p!sses me off, that I can't just make the fear go away, but I think it's normal.

Give yourself time. :)

V.

[tulip]

You live in a place with lots of cold and ice. I recommend getting studded tires and putting them on a winter bike. They are fantastic. Nokian (NOT the phone company--common mistake) makes the best studded tires with carbide studs, but there are less expensive brands, too.

Not to add to your worries, but it's also best to stay away from puddles because you don't know how deep they are. The water could disguise a deep rut or pothole.

[Tuckervill]

Time will help.

I was attacked by a German Shepherd once--I went into his yard behind my brother, who didn't tell the dog I was coming. It didn't bite me, but it was in my face, snarling and it probably would have hurt me had my brother not stopped it. I have never been so scared in my life. For quite a while after that (years), I couldn't go near a dog that I didn't know, and any kind of bark that I heard would produce that feeling in my gut.

That feeling faded pretty well, and now I have 3 dogs in my house. Now I know what *not* to do with a strange dog, just like you know to get off and walk when there's ice. There's no shame in being safe, but it would be sad if you quit. You will gain more experience and the feeling will fade. Just don't give up.

Karen

[Melalvai]

I have a psychologist friend who says if you have a bad experience with something, it is important to get out and do it again right away before your brain has a chance to make a bad association with that thing. She ate a peach once that had maggots in it. She immediately got another peach, cut it open and made herself eat it, because she always loved peaches and she didn't want to hate them forever.

She did the same thing when she had a bad experience on an airplane. It had to make an unexpected landing.

I believe she has more balls than I.

[bikerHen]

Hey, I'm right there with you! I really suck at mtbing cause I totally panic when my wheels start sliding. So I limit my mtb riding to fairly tame stuff.

Enter winter riding! I so wanted to continue commuting this winter. Got the studded tires, did OK until the road were totally covered with packed snow and ice all the time. As soon as my wheels started moving around in the snow I started panicing again. :mad: I'm not talking about life threating I'm going down hard slipping, just what should be "controllable" movement of the tires.

My fear in falling is loosely based on the fact I'm on the verge of old fartdom and overweight. If I do go down hard, something gonna break! So my goal this summer is to spend some time mtbing and push/force myself to ride in sand and loose stuff and learn how to handle and recover from slipping. Experience is the best teacher, right? :o bikerHen

[Geonz]

I would also recommend getting studded tires - but even if you don't, here's what I would do, which is what most folks' parents did to teach their kiddos to drive in the snow.

Go out to a parking lot and gradually test your courage where the cars aren't there. If you need to, get knee and elbow pads. (I bought 'em but actulaly never put 'em on.) Teach through experience that water does not pick you up and bodily hurl you to the ground.

I have to laugh at myself sometimes because I'll *have* to go through a spot that's got a layer of snow or ice... and I'll get used to it and plug right along. Then things will clear up... and when I see the next spot, NO!! I'm out there avoiding it like the plague... so I steel myself...

Falls can be life-changing... but fear of falling can cause a fall or an accident, too. (That's why I got the Nokian Hakkelpiittas... gotta go check that spelling again... ) I luv my studs. I had second thoughts after I dumped that hundred bucks on 'em during the one single solitary heavy snow we had last year. Snork. This year... I am *so* glad I have them. (Welp, I also sold my car between then and now, so it's the bike or the bus and the bike is cheaper and more fun.)

(Mountain biking? SNORK! I *once* did the easiest not even a mtb trail, just off road a little bit. My freak threshold is just too low... more power to you who try!!!! )

[Crankin]

Well, I think a certain amount of fear is good, but that's why I'm not a good mountain biker. I am also on the verge of "old age" and I already have osteopenia. I've had a few crashes that ended up being nothing, but a bad fall would not be good for my bones. But, on to your issue. You live somewhat near me and I can say for sure that roads are the worst I've seen them in 17 years. We went out for a 20 mile ride 2 weeks ago. There were a lot of puddles and pot holes like I have never seen. Not so much right around my house, but in the next town, which was particularly bad. I grazed one puddle which must have had a pot hole under it and my bike started shimmying and I almost went down. I was able to control it, but it was scary because we were on a main road, with cars. I was riding my hybrid, which is heavy compared to my road bike. I saw lots of people out on road bikes that day and I can't believe they were having a good time!
The advice given about the tires is good, but I would ask myself what are your limits for riding? Some days it's just not worth it. I would not ride on some of the roads around here when there was snow or ice on them. You have to decide what's important: riding no matter what or taking a bit of a cautious attitude when it's really bad out.

[invsblwmn]

Like others, I think some fear is healthy. If it prevents you from doing what you love, keep facing the fear with the new tires until you feel you have mastered the situation. I try to distract myself. I have had a couple of accidents in the last year. After the first one, I was sooo paranoid about trucks. I would sing, curse, and give the princess wave whenever necessary to deal with the fear when it rose its ugly head. I know when I can ride again, facing fear of every ped xing could be a challenge. As a former therapist and ugly accident survivor, all I know is to face what I fear with knowledge until I fear it no more. Good luck to you. Take care. Don't give in. ;)

[redrhodie]

Half a dozen falls in 18 months is a lot! I'd be scared, too. Is it always ice related? Is it always on the same bike?

Because you haven't sustained serious injury so far is no reason to convince yourself your fear is unfounded. You've been lucky. You hit your head! I'm worried for you!

Also, those things you've mentioned that are making you feel like a wuss (not going through puddles, and slowing down to 10-12 miles an hour) are how you're supposed to ride on ice. Those are good bike skills. That's what you're supposed to be doing. It will add time to your commute, but if you were in a car, your commute would also take longer. Ice deserves your respect.

[mimitabby]

Also, those things you've mentioned that are making you feel like a wuss (not going through puddles, and slowing down to 10-12 miles an hour) are how you're supposed to ride on ice. Those are good bike skills. That's what you're supposed to be doing. It will add time to your commute, but if you were in a car, your commute would also take longer. Ice deserves your respect.+++++

[shootingstar]

Mimitabby has made a good point, that perhaps even in car, your car, the big monster, could slide abit too if you weren't paying attention.

Since living in Vancouver I've fallen 3 times. The last one...was freakishly scary, a path that was sheer ice all the way around. I was damned if I tried stopping, and damned if I kept going.

So I kept on going and ...fell on the ice, in slow motion. towards the end of the path. Ironically this was in the new future 2010 Olympic athletes' village area that's under construction. I was not hurt much, just late for an art class.. It did bother me for a few hrs. Ice had melted off 4 hrs. later when I biked home.

I've been very lucky so far, each time I fell, it has always been black ice, where ironically I was going slow. Another time I fell on icy road while going up a hill.

I don't have tire studs. Do I plan to get them? no. Simply because in our area black ice and snow on the mainland at the foot of mountains...doesn't actually get much snow ...compared to other parts of Canada. When it does snow and there's ice, I won't cycle.

I know alot of highly experienced, strong cyclists who simply don't ride if their winters are often snowy and icy. this is very true in toronto, which has similar winters to Massachussetts.

As for my precautions that I take...I was hit as a pedestrian in the winter when I was a teenager. In front of a life insurance company. It is possible thereafter, I just take more precautions. I go through times where I forget about this accident, it is almost like denial that I could have permanently disabled, etc. If a small car hits you with a certain impact, you could be thrown onto of the hood..

[7rider]

Well, your sig line kinda says it all..."Never give up. Never surrender."

Sounds like you already have studded tires. Check out MassBike: http://www.massbike.org/index.htm - look at the "Skills" tab and also call them and see if they have any safe bike riding classes offered (I know WABA (http://www.waba.org/)does from time to time).

Discretion is the better part of valor....sometimes it IS best to just walk it. But perhaps you can go back to platform pedals (if you have clipless) as a start until you have more confidence on the bike. Also...can I assume your bike fits you okay and isn't too big and unstable for you?

Good luck and take heart...spring is just around the corner! :)

[kfergos]

Thank you all for the encouragement and good advice. I feel much better. I do, in fact, have Nokian studded tires -- the skinniest ones available, with just a few studs. I've never slipped on ice with that bike and those tires; my fall last weekend was with my road bike and slicks, which was clearly a tactical error on my part. I guess I just don't know what's normal for riding in winter conditions, so I've just been doing my best. I have been meaning to ask, too, what you guys would do in the following situations:

1. Riding over a wooden (!) bridge in wet conditions or after it's snowed.
2. Riding over 5 steel plates in a row in wet conditions or after it's snowed.

[Andrea]

I had a painful fall last December while on a laid back group ride- I was drafting my training partner then let myself get distracted & started to half-wheel him. Seconds later, when he made a sideways movement, BAM! Down I went...
I thought I was fine except for some road rash. I went on training all winter- usually solitary or leading my local shop's "B" ride on the weekends. A few weeks ago, I go for my first "big" group ride since the wreck... all of a sudden, I find that I'm annoying other riders by letting a gap form between me & the person in front of me or by riding off to the side of the wheel in front of me. I try to correct myself but find that when I do, I get very nervous & tense and start grabbing my brakes at the slightest change in pace (an even bigger paceline sin!)
Being a racer, this is tough. I'm basically re-learning how to draft! My strategy is to start easy and very controlled. I go out with my training partner on a flat, smooth road. He pegs his speed at exactly 19mph. I get behind him and draft in "intervals"- I'll get very close for 1-2 minutes then back off a little for a mental break. We're now adding in turns & hills. We're also going to take our bikes out into the field behind my house & practice rubbing wheels on purpose. My first crit is in less than a month :eek:

My point- just like everyone else said- when you're ready, take baby steps, but work your way up to facing what you're ultimately scared of!

[tulip]

Kfergos, most accidents in hiking, mountain climbing, and sea kayaking can be traced to errors in judgment. Good expiditioners analyze their expeditions to learn from them. That seems like a good idea here, particularly since you have had so many spills in the last 18 months. Analyze each one to see why it happened and what, if anything, you can learn from it.

You say that it was a tactical error to ride your road bike in the icy conditions--I'd say that's true. Take your studded-tire bike when it's icy. Also, avoid the unknown--puddles, icy patches, anything with undetermined conditions.

Wooden bridges are going to be more likely to be slippery when wet, more so when icy, and we know that they ice faster than other surfaces. So slow down at the very least. Don't hesitate to walk, gingerly if conditions dictate. Metal surfaces I would tend to avoid altogether, particularly in wet and/or icy conditions.

The Icebike site is good for all things winter-cycling: http://www.icebike.org/

The best antidote to fear is knowledge.

[Melalvai]

I rode to work through an ice storm this morning. I kept it slow, no more than 12 mph, because that is the fastest I want to fall at. It took me 30% longer (7 min) to get to work.

It was beautiful to ride through.

Riding around with that eclipse last night was awesome too. Though I was still whining about the cold then. It is a little warmer today.

[Geonz]

I'm about to head home through the same shltuff. Studded tyres rock ;D

[lph]

Hi all. Just wanted to add - that there's ice, and there's ice. Hitting ice when I'm riding with slicks or on my road bike scares the sh*t out of me, because there's no traction whatsoever and hitting the road HURTS. And with slicks on I'm usually moving fast. Passing a small ice patch that I've seen in advance when I'm riding with knobby tires is ok, I keep a straight line and don't lean or turn til I'm past the ice. The knobbies are fat enough to make me feel balanced. In winter I ride with studded tires (nokian Extreme) and ride over ice and snow all the time. But there are still days when riding is really difficult even with studs - if wet snow has packed on the road and refrozen to ice bulges and ruts, and if tehre's meltwater or rain running off it, I feel my shoulders start to creep up to my hairline too. Even though I've never hurt myself falling in winter. I've lost a few studs so soemtimes the back wheel will slip a little.

I think my point is that is you really have to cross pure ice, especially if it's slick from water, you have to expect to slow way, way down. Studs enable you to ride on ice, but they don't necessarily make it easy. I think of it as "riding my tractor" :) Riding on a dry road is just a whole 'nother world and I handle my bike completely differently.

[tulip]

I've been thinking about this more...in the winter, I think we have to accept that the commute is going to take longer. Sometimes it'll take alot longer if the road conditions are bad.

A few years ago when I lived in DC we had a nasty winter storm and the traffic was a mess and the Metro was all in disarray. I did my 14-mile commute on my bike with studded tires and it took me nearly 2 hours--twice the normal commute time. But it was a beautiful ride to work, a few hardy cyclists on the trail, and I still got there in less time with less hassle than by car or by Metro that day.

I knew that I just had to give myself more time for my commute. Usually I took the Metro back in the p.m. because of darkness, with a 2-mile ride from the Metro stop closest to my house (on well-lit streets and I had all sorts of lights). It all added up to a longer commute, but I just had to accept that I wasn't going to be as fast in the winter as in the other seasons.

[Geonz]

I'm about to head home through the same shltuff. Studded tyres rock ;D

[Geonz]

Snork. Yesterday's was at least in the forecast. Today's was a surprise. 4 inches for the price of one...

[PscyclePath]

Ice is one of those road conditions that can say "I'm not riding today." Snow is a lot more negotiable, but ice is bad stuff, especially if you have skinny road tires.

+110 on the recommendation for studded tires, if conditions say you need to ride the ice. If studs aren't an option, it's tire to break out the knobby, low-pressure tired mountain bike. The all-terrain tires are absolutely the way to go in the slippery, slushy stuff.

Drop your tire pressure by about 10 pounds or so, to get better contact and a larger footprint for your tires on the road -- you get better traction.

Slow down. Safe ice biking requires no sudden moves.

Don't lean the bike over, or make sharp turns on the ice or on wet surfaces, to keep your traction.

Easy on the brakes, and lay off the brakes when you're on the slick stuff. Look up ahead, see what's coming, feather your brakes if need be, and gently coast to a stop.

A little nervousness is okay. Being scared means that you're beyond your comfort zone, and either beyond or skirting the edges of your skills and experience. But try it and learn. Accident statistics clearly indicate that cyclists who ride in all sorts of weather, not just the clear sunny days, have an 85% better safety record in avoiding crashes. Experience and confidence counts for a lot!

[Melalvai]

Ice is one of those road conditions that can say "I'm not riding today." Snow is a lot more negotiable, but ice is bad stuff, especially if you have skinny road tires.
But this is equally true for driving. My experience, at least in Mid-Missouri, is that if the roads are good enough to drive on, they are good enough to bike on.

I've told this story a lot this winter. I took my daughter to school one day in the car. Then I returned home, left the car for my husband, and biked to work. While driving the car, I lost traction twice (and pumped the brake gently to regain control). While riding my bike--same day, same roads--I did not ever lose control.

That day convinced me that biking is safer than driving. No one else agrees!

[Geonz]

Welp, one fact of physics is that with four wheels, you don't fall down. With two wheels, you can.

However, I can tell you that with my studded tyres on, I'm sliding a lot less than cars, and if I *do* go into a ditch, I can get out mroe easily ;)

On the third hand, though, if I it something in the car, it's less dangerous to me than if I hit something on the bike.

It's one of those "define your acceptable risk" situations.

[lph]

Yep - losing control on ice on a bike can be truly terrifying, but you don't weigh much and aren't moving that fast. And there is that nice thing about being able to just pick up your bike and bail. Can't do that with a Jeep :rolleyes:

What (still) terrifies me a little about driving a car, which I've only done for the past two years or so, is the potential for seriously harming other people. I still have a little trouble wrapping my head around the thought that I'm barreling down the road at 3 times a healthy biking clip inside something that weighs half a ton. If I swerve and hit someone, they're dead. :eek:

I feel that as a cyclist I'm forced to judge road conditions more carefully and adjust my speed accordingly, because 2 wheels are less forgiving. As a driver I tend to take reasonably good road conditions for granted.

[mimitabby]

and my friend that broke his hip on black ice maybe weighed 135 pounds soaking wet. You have fear for a reason. to protect yourself.

[Melalvai]

I still have a little trouble wrapping my head around the thought that I'm barreling down the road at 3 times a healthy biking clip inside something that weighs half a ton. If I swerve and hit someone, they're dead.
When my older sister was learning to drive, she got in the driver's seat, adjusted everything, and was driving merrily down the road when Mom idly remarked, "You have a half ton murder machine under your control."

When I learned to drive, Dad sat in the passenger seat.