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I try to explain #24 to the junior programmers ("Yes, it make no sense, but code the system since that's the county wants") One day, I may get thorough
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08-20-2006, 11:32 AM #1
Life Is Good
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- Alaska
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24 Things You Should Have Learned By Middle Age
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24 THINGS YOU SHOULD HAVE LEARNED BY MIDDLE AGE:
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think; they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your rear end look fat
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
13. Eat well; stay fit; die anyway.
14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.
20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world."Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." – William C. Durant
I click here to help detect breast cancer.
I click here to help feed animals in need.
I play this game to help feed people in need.
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08-20-2006, 02:03 PM #2
Enjoying the Ride
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- May 2006
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- Memphis, TN
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08-20-2006, 07:33 PM #3
back of the autobus
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- Dec 2003
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- Folsom CA
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Excellent !
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08-20-2006, 08:21 PM #4
Zipper Neck & Survivor
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What jobob said......
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08-21-2006, 08:09 PM #5
Registered User
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- San Diego
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OMG... I almost fell outta the chair at #6!
There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".
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08-22-2006, 06:33 PM #6
Registered User
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Too funny and true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anita "Shiraz"
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08-22-2006, 07:36 PM #7
TimeTrial Wannabe
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my favourite? #14
most excellent list, thanks chick
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow".
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08-22-2006, 09:10 PM #8Kitsune06 Guest
Sweet list, CWR. Way too true. I love #4, but dunno that I could say it without laughing or dying
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08-22-2006, 09:47 PM #9
TimeTrial Wannabe
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- Middle Earth
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LOL, Kitsune, that reminds me of something my partner thinks would be a various dangerous thing to ask - though logical...
Originally Posted by Kitsune06
Sweet list, CWR. Way too true. I love #4, but dunno that I could say it without laughing or dying
When asked the ultimate question - the one to which there is NO right answer ...
"does my bum look big in this?"
he should answer... "compared to what?"
Just cracks me up!
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
"I will try again tomorrow".
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08-22-2006, 11:06 PM #10Kitsune06 Guest
Like the age-old "*whine* Nothing I have matches!"
I say "Everything I've got is black, white, grey or OD green. Seriously, I can't help you, I'll never have the problem!"
I used that one for some time, then she caught me and got me back one day when I complained bitterly that I didn't have proper clothes for a job interview.
"Gee, hon, I've never HAD that problem!"
My outfit that day ended up being 3/4 hers that day! SWMBO 1, Kitsu 0
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08-23-2006, 08:11 AM #11
Life Is Good
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- Jun 2006
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- Alaska
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- 2,201
glad i could bring some humor into your lives.
"Forget past mistakes. Forget failures. Forget everything except what you're going to do now and do it." – William C. Durant
I click here to help detect breast cancer.
I click here to help feed animals in need.
I play this game to help feed people in need.
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08-23-2006, 06:20 PM #12
Bianchi Girl
- Join Date
- Aug 2006
- Location
- Paradise
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- 696
I just tried to get my husband to pay special attention to #15 (especially since we have a small arsenal readily available)........... he just gave me that vacant stare men are so good at and went back to his laptop........
....... good thing I have a dishwasher I guess........
