I'm another person who does short hills rather than mountains. And I have asthma so I don't try to go fast uphill. I shift into an easy gear (often the lowest on my bike) and try to get into a rhythm with pedaling and breathing. If the hill is steep I will slow my cadence. Sometimes my speed drops very low as a result but it's necessary for me.
I found that shifting under tension, such as when you're on a steep hill, required practice. I try to ease up a bit, pedal less hard for a second, as I shift. This helps avoid that loud grinding sound and I think reduces the chance of the chain slipping.
I rarely stand on a hill. I do often ride with a friend who sometimes stands, and I've noticed he shifts down to a harder gear right before he stands on the pedals.
I agree that there is a mental component. When I first started cycling for fun as an adult, I got frustrated if there were lots of hills on a ride. I solved this problem by riding more hills, so I got used to them, and riding more varied routes instead of doing the same thing over and over, so I got used to not knowing what was ahead of me. Also I did a few long rides that were pancake-flat and found them very boring. Hills require more effort but I like varied terrain. And sometimes you get the payoff of a spectacular view at the top.
- Gray 2010 carbon WSD road bike, Rivet Independence saddle
- Red hardtail 26" aluminum mountain bike, Bontrager Evoke WSD saddle
- Royal blue 2018 aluminum gravel bike, Rivet Pearl saddle
Gone but not forgotten:
- Silver 2003 aluminum road bike
- Two awesome worn out Juliana saddles