Quote Originally Posted by Crankin View Post
Ha, ha. This is why we will never have a tandem. I do not want to be under the control of someone else, even DH.
I once said this to the wife of a colleague of DH's who ride a tandem, when we were at a party... I know they do the tandem because she can't keep up with him (and he won't slow a little). That was a mistake. She made a face at me and turned away, when I said I would never be under anyone's control! A few months later, we saw them riding the tandem when we were out riding with our former exchange student son when he was here visiting us. She wouldn't look or talk to me!
Ooops. Well, it's true, though. We had a tandem very early in our marriage & cycling days, and the control thing didn't bother me then, as I was a very weak cyclist (which is why we got the tandem). I actually enjoyed DH taking the lead. But as time went on, and I became stronger and more independent-minded as well, I really started chafing at the tandem experience. It was tons of fun to ride (fast!) when everything was clicking, but if we disagreed on something, it was a very uncomfortable place to be (physically and emotionally).

Part of our problem was that DH was so used to riding alone that he didn't like having to call out everything to me. A tandem captain needs to be a really good communicator for it to work. So, the very last time we tried tandeming, it was pretty much a disaster. I hated not being able to see, to determine shifts and braking, and relinquishing control after I'd been single cycling for so long was verrrrry difficult. We only kept that tandem (our third over the years) for about 6 months.

He talks about trying a tandem again one day since he is a faster rider, and it is nice to help equalize our speeds, but I am not enthusiastic, as I don't see him being a better communicator than he was last time around, and I certainly will be no more willing to relinquish control!