I must have been a very bad person in my previous life.

[smilingcat]

It's been one of those days where you wished you never woke up. Of course it could be worse if it were the Ground Hog Day (the movie).

I'm generally positive of what is going on and what I am doing; but, it looks like I only post when things are "I'm mad" or some kind of drama going on. I really am not that dour, really I'm not.

Today is one of those days though... One of my favorite and most gorgeous and loving cat I ever had has been sick for some time. His time has come and I had to make the hard decision today and made an appointment with my vet for tomorrow. My kitty is a beautiful ragdoll with big beautiful blue eyes. He is just over ten years old but being most likely a purebred his life is cut short. I gave him some opiate drugs, anti-nausea drug, steroid, and sub-cutaneous fluid. For the first time in about a week, he seems to be relaxed and not in pain. Sound asleep on a makeshift bed I made for him next to my desk. I am deeply saddened by his condition but for now I am relieved for him in that he seems comfortable. Hope he is dreaming a good dream.

Then there was bit of confrontation with my hired farm help. Guys always want to be right and want to do it their way. Well too bad, boss lady says otherwise. And we'll leave it at that. But I'm still angry. He doesn't understand why I was still angry at the end of the day. sheesh. I have yet to understand man's psyche even after all these years of working with men.

Then some yahoo crazy, driving a jacked up "USA" pick up coming from the opposite direction, decided to play chicken with me by driving right into my lane. I'm sure he thought he was going to force me off into the shoulder. So I played chicken with him and he veered back into his lane. I've reached an age where I don't care if I die today (sometimes). So where is this country going?

Mentally, I'm getting really tired of living in this angry hateful society. So turned on some music Mitt Land by Helene Boksle, My Land by Secret Garden, Over the Rainbow by Israel (IZ) K..., The Way We Were by Barbra Streisand, Memories by Elaine Page. Sipping lemon-ginger tea, gingerly stroking the back of my kitty. Must be a comfy soft bed.

It just better not be a ground hog day when I wake up "tomorrow"

Gut nacht, vielleicht? Ja? Nein? Ich bin Dumb... Nicht weiss.

[OakLeaf]

(((((((smilingcat)))))))

I'm so very sorry about your kitty. He sounds like a beautiful sweet boy.

No one should have to deal with people's everyday idiocies on top of losing a loved one. Take good care.

[Crankin]

Sorry about your cat, Smiling Cat.
But, I am worried about you... I know you said you seem to only post when you are having a bad day, but it gets my (professional) attention when someone says it doesn't matter if they die. It's one thing to not be scared of death, in terms of illness or end of life issues, but feeling like it doesn't matter if you are here or not is really saying that *you* don't matter to yourself or anyone else.
Your work is very stressful, so be kind to yourself. I hope you have someone, anyone, to share your feelings with.

[IBrakeforPastry]

I'm sorry about your cat. Is he your avatar kitty? I wish him a peaceful journey, and for you, the peace in knowing you gave him a good home, and are doing the right thing.
I hope you had a good night. Hugs to you and your little guy.

[ZoneFive]

I'll be thinking of you today. You gave your boy a good life, and I hope your memories of him can give you peace soon.

[Helene2013]

Thinking of you too....and if/when you feel like it, you can share a picture of your lovely kitty. Having 3 at home (plus 3 cats), I sure feel your pain.

[Pax]

Aw, SC, I'm so sorry about your beautiful boy. Here's hoping his path is easy and you can catch a bit of a break soon.

[ny biker]

I'm sorry, Smilingcat. Sometimes it seems like stupid irritations really pile up during difficult times. There are still some good people out there -- they're just hard to see sometimes.

[Aromig]

I'm so very sorry about your kitty. No matter how many times you go through this with a pet -- it's never any easier. And I'm sorry about your hired farm help. GRRRRR......I hope things improve.

[Catrin]

{{{{Smilingcat}}}} May tomorrow be a better one.

[lauraelmore1033]

Oh Smilingcat! So sorry to hear about your cat and man problems. I'm sure you had a bond with your cat that was every bit as strong one you'd have with a child. (I know I do with mine) Be kind to yourself as you grieve. Sending good thoughts your way.

[smilingcat]

Thank you all. Today was slightly better.

We have closure on my rag doll kitty. He purred for both of us and licked some baby food. It was his way of saying good bye to us. I was hoping his condition was turning around.
When we took him in, our vet was horrified to see him so yellow. Yellow skin, yellow in the white of the eye, lips bright yellow and his gorgeous blue eyes had turned green. She, our vet, checked him and told us that his prognosis was very grim. He would have needed to be force fed with tube into his stomach.

We said our farewell, and he went to sleep peacefully and quietly.

My partner wanted to put to rest of our decision so we opted for necropsy. He had lymphatic cancer. So in a strange way, we are relieved to know that we made the right decision instead of making extra-ordinary effort to save him and only to make him suffer more.

so here is my baby about 4 years ago. And the puppy golden is Flynn. Another food monster.

[Crankin]

May he rest in peace.

[lph]

Awwww, what an adorable couple of pets. Wow, look at those beautiful eyes. You gave your gorgeous cat a happy and loved and protected life, and it looks like he knew that.

[emily_in_nc]

You definitely did the right thing, but I know that only makes it slightly easier to bear. Losing a beloved fur-kid is tough! I am sending warm thoughts your way. <3