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Thread: dear sis, (TMI)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Troutdale, OR

    dear sis, (TMI)

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    It was many years ago when you told me that you had stage 4 breast cancer. What you told me then made me wonder. As the years past, you became an accomplished marathon runner. Some years, you ran three or more races. Yout athletic accomplishment made me really wonder about your cancer. I've never heard of anyone with advanced inoperable cancer to do so much.

    Then last summer you said cancer had returned. I asked if I should come and visit while you still had strength. And you told me not to worry and I had plenty of time. I wish you had told me the truth. Maybe you yourself didn't realize how bad things really were. Maybe your mental toughness from running all the marathons, you had developed incredible tolerance to pain just as I have mental toughness from road racing.

    I wish I could have taken you and your family out but that was not meant to be. Your body gave out so quick that your husband was in tears when he called to tell me to take the next available flight out.

    I saw you next day. You were so skinny and you were in lot of pain. When you saw me, you said it made you really happy that I was there. I cooked your favorite dinner that night. Your children enjoyed it. You could only eat a bite or two. Gave me a weak smile and said it was good.

    On the last day, you willed yourself out of bed and we thought you had regained some strength. Later in the evening you were too weak even to talk. I went and picked up our mother late in the evening after you had died.

    It's been a while so I can talk about it. Mother has bounced back so you don't have to worry about her. Your grown son well, at some point they have to fly on their own. Your teenage daughter is doing okay as far as one can expect. It really is a tough age to lose her mom.

    I am sorry for doubting you all these years.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Pacific Northwest
    Ah, smilingcat. I am so very sorry.
    "My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Uncanny Valley
    I'm so sorry, smilingcat.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    It is very painful smilingcat to lose a sibling long before old age. I'm very sorry. I think of my sister several times each week.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know whatís in a personís heart.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    I am so sorry for your pain.

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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Traveling Nomad
    I am very sorry. We had a great friend with stage 4 BC, and she lived for quite a few years. And I read a blog written by a woman who has been living with stage 4 BC for something like 10 years. So you never know. Living for a long time with mets is uncommon but does happen.

    I am so very sorry for your loss.

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  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    I'm so sorry, Smilingcat. Hugs.
    Most days in life don't stand out, But life's about those days that will...

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2008
    northern Virginia
    I'm very sorry Smilingcat. But I'm glad your sister was able to live so well for those years, and I'm glad you were able to be there with her and her family. I'm sure it meant a lot to them.

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  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Tucson, AZ
    So very sorry to hear of your loss Smiling Cat. I hope you will treasure your memories of the good times with your sister.
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Marin County CA
    Wow this is rough. I am so sorry. Try to forgive yourself for your skepticism. She sounds like she was an unbelievably tough woman.

    When it's easy, ride hard; when it's hard, ride easy.

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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Boise Idaho
    SmililingCat - hug yourself, hug others, remember to both laugh and to cry. Don't doubt - as it sounds like your Sis never did. Virtual Hug!
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  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Indianapolis, Indiana
    {{{{SmilingCat}}}} wish I could be there to give you a real hug. I am so sorry to read of your loss, remember those good memories of your sister.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Concord, MA
    I echo Catrin's thoughts. Remember the good. And smile when you think of your sister.
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  14. #14
    Join Date
    May 2007
    So sorry for your loss, SmilingCat. Your sister sounds like a very special woman.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    pacific NW
    What a terrible loss. Your sister sounds like a remarkable woman.

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