Why do you voice your thoughts/opinions?

[Crankin]

Murienn, I laughed at your last sentence. Geez, if you can't be tolerant for one's love of Palak Paneer, then it's over! Seriously, liberal dogma can be just as intolerant as conservative rubbish. And, people do get quite upset about food these days. I freaked out one of my friends (the one I don't really like anymore) when I announced that i had stopped eating beef/pork/veal. I still eat poultry and fish, but my diet is more and more vegetarian. Now, every conversation about food has to mention my choices. I am not doing this for political reasons, so if someone served me meat, and I was starving, I'd eat it. Well, at least they are in Savannah, a place I love.
I am lucky that in my career, and especially my particular workplace, is very liberal. The clinic admin person, who I often eat lunch with, seems like a regular person, but I have heard her spew horrible vitriol about the president. If I ever hear anything like that now, I leave the room. The teachers on my teams at my last school were very liberal. The only beef I had with some of the other people is that all they did was talk about their family and complain about their husbands. I can't stand that. I am actually very careful to not talk about politics, with anyone at work. You never know.

[Pax]

Crankin - remembering the very liberal place my old profession was, I'm dusting off my mental health resume and considering giving it another go. It's been nine years since I left the profession but I imagine I could still be a decent case manager. Might even consider getting my MSW if the agency is a good one... at 55 I still need to work a while so it might be worth it.

[Crankin]

My agency hires case managers for people living independently in supported situations or group homes. It is not clinical work, but very rewarding none the less. Some of them have master degrees and eventually become a therapist at centers like where I work. I am an LMHC, so I don't know the specifics about MSW programs, but I'd say, unless the pay difference between a bachelors and masters level case worker is great, or, you eventually want to become a clinician, don't go back to school. On the other hand, I went back to school at your age. I think the difference between a MSW and a degree in clinical mental health counseling is that my training is all clinical; there are no other tracks. We take our licensing exam as soon as we graduate and then it's just a matter of getting your hours, to be fully licensed (along with the internship hours during school). MSWs seem to have to go through 2 stages, first pass the LSW test, then work more and do the LICSW hours and test. And, if you stay in community mental health as a licensed clinician, the pay is not great, unless you find one of the rare places that pays salaries instead of FFS. This is why all of the younger people I went to school with have their own practices now. I don't want anything to do with the business part of that, especially the insurance part, so I am lucky this is a second "give back" career for me. I imagine there is opportunity in Florida, for both case workers and clinicians, because as opposed to where I live, there aren't as many people with the training. It sounds like a good plan, especially to connect with like minded people.

[Pax]

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I worked eleven years with mentally ill homeless adults, everything from crisis intervention to housing development. In IL I was listed by the state as an MHP (mental health professional) which is bachelors level with something like 1000 hours of supervised clinical work. Don't think FL has anything like that, seems to be straightforward - HS diploma = case aid/healthcare tech, Bachelors = case manager, Masters = counselor and with some licensing, therapist.

I'd prefer not to return to school as the time and cost would not pay off before retirement, but I would enjoy the more intense clinical aspect.

[Crankin]

Murienn, I don't understand why that woman was snarky about you coming to the Thanksgiving Potluck. Because it's a holiday, and people might have brought good food, like you did? Oy. She sounds in need of my services... this is why I think I am actually more moderate in my beliefs about a lot of things. How can someone bash their own mother for thinking milk is important? A lot of people, not even just older people, think like that. My reasons for drifting toward vegetarianism are strictly for health. I understand the political part of it, but unlike you, I don't know a lot about farming. There is a strong small farming community around here, and while I support many of the local farms during their seasons, some of the other shoppers are so strident when I go to shop, it bothers me. We also have a well known natural foods/health store in West Concord. There are several products I buy there, because it's the only place I can find them, but I go to the farms for produce. The organic produce at this store is so expensive, I just won't buy it. I don't bad mouth the place at all, the owner is very active in the community, and my son (the ex-Marine) worked there in HS, and they were extremely nice to him.
I remember the drive from Beaufort to Savannah as boring and kind of long. I have never been to Charleston. I hated HHI/Bluffton immensely, although I even went back the year after the boot camp graduation, as we bid on a vacation there and we won a week stay at a condo in the ritzy gated community at the end of the island. This is where we almost got arrested riding our road bikes on the road!

[ny biker]

If we were talking opinions on movies, restaurants, which season of the year is the best, whether I need a new bike and if so what kind... well those are opinions I share for the sake of sharing useful information or just making conversation. But from reading this thread so far, we're not talking about those kinds of opinions.

I generally refrain from discussing my opinions on hot topics. In part this is because I don't expect to change the minds of anyone who disagrees with me -- I'm not very good at being persuasive and frankly I don't think most people are open to changing their opinions. I think most of the people I know who do discuss politics, religion, etc are either assuming I agree with them or hoping I agree with them/validate them. I am also non-confrontational -- I just don't like to argue with people.

[Crankin]

I agree, there is a difference between liberal and Democratic (they don't describe the same thing), but I just thought you might meet even one like-minded person. Given the range of people I met in your area, the woman I met in that office left an indelible memory. She told me SC was turning into a purple state!

[Crankin]

My son was pissed that I wore that button to graduation and family day, but I did. And, he is back to being normal now, despite the fact he switched teams and is now in Army ROTC and Reserves. Of course, 12 years, going to a selective liberal arts college, and life in general has a way of redirecting you. I always laugh at his military toughness, when he's a Suburu driving, wine sipping, NPR listener... just can't take that boy out of his New England ways.

[Pax]

... I always laugh at his military toughness, when he's a Suburu driving, wine sipping, NPR listener...

I love this mental image!

[OakLeaf]

Ugh. Yeah. Much (though not all) of my depressive episode this fall was triggered by having to cut off several relationships because the events of this summer really brought out people's bigotries. As a straight, cis, thin-ish, able-bodied, for all intents and purposes white person, I'd been able to form friendships - not close, but still what I'd consider friendships - with these people having no idea how much hate they harbored inside. The loss and the feeling of isolation were distressing, but also I felt disappointed in myself for choosing to move to such a segregated area, and for letting my privilege blind me to what these people were really about.

To answer your original question - for myself, it really depends on the context. I might express an opinion for any of the reasons you posited, with the exception of belittling someone, which I really try not to do - e.g. on FB, I might "like" a funny post that someone else shares, but I rarely share them myself. But my sense of why strangers make unsolicited hateful comments is that THEY are feeling isolated these days. Hate is not as fashionable as it used to be, and public expressions of hate are frowned upon in most circles. So when they feel like they can get away with it, they say something just to "enjoy" their ability to say it.

[ny biker]

I've been good friends for many years with someone who recently decided she would no longer keep her "unpopular" opinions a secret. Unfortunately some of these newly-voiced thoughts are quite hateful toward immigrants and some religions. It made me reevaluate the friendship. I still see her, but not nearly as often, by my choice. It does make me sad.

[shootingstar]

Ugh. Yeah. Much (though not all) of my depressive episode this fall was triggered by having to cut off several relationships because the events of this summer really brought out people's bigotries. As a straight, cis, thin-ish, able-bodied, for all intents and purposes white person, I'd been able to form friendships - not close, but still what I'd consider friendships - with these people having no idea how much hate they harbored inside. The loss and the feeling of isolation were distressing, but also I felt disappointed in myself for choosing to move to such a segregated area, and for letting my privilege blind me to what these people were really about

It can be painful /slightly bewildering and the older we get, sometimes making new, long lasting friendships takes time.

To answer your original question - for myself, it really depends on the context. I might express an opinion for any of the reasons you posited, with the exception of belittling someone, which I really try not to do - e.g. on FB, I might "like" a funny post that someone else shares, but I rarely share them myself. But my sense of why strangers make unsolicited hateful comments is that THEY are feeling isolated these days. Hate is not as fashionable as it used to be, and public expressions of hate are frowned upon in most circles. So when they feel like they can get away with it, they say something just to "enjoy" their ability to say it.

I highlighted your comment in red: good point.

Much of my comments on local community does pertain to face-to-face in person relationships. However I appreciate some great dialogue on various topics over the years in this forum..some topics I wouldn't think of asking /discussing with other women face to face. Not because I'm don't want to,I didn't realize certain things happened or personally never experienced certain things.

[lph]

My job largely consists of listening to a lot of people's opinions, sifting through them, and making a hopefully balanced decision. As such I'm pretty tolerant of people voicing their opinions, personally I have as strong opinions as anyone - and then some. In general conversation though I think the big challenge is not if you voice your opinion, but whether you do so acknowledging that someone else may have a different opinion that they truly believe is equally right and important. There's a huge difference between "I believe X is the best way of doing something " and "X is clearly the only way of doing something".

However there are a few topics I really don't feel are up for debate in the first place. If the scientific consensus is overwhelming on a certain topic, sure you can still discuss it, but I don't really see the point, unless you happen to be an expert on the subject.

[GLC1968]

If we were talking opinions on movies, restaurants, which season of the year is the best, whether I need a new bike and if so what kind... well those are opinions I share for the sake of sharing useful information or just making conversation. But from reading this thread so far, we're not talking about those kinds of opinions.

I generally refrain from discussing my opinions on hot topics. In part this is because I don't expect to change the minds of anyone who disagrees with me -- I'm not very good at being persuasive and frankly I don't think most people are open to changing their opinions. I think most of the people I know who do discuss politics, religion, etc are either assuming I agree with them or hoping I agree with them/validate them. I am also non-confrontational -- I just don't like to argue with people.

This.

In fact, differing opinions on basic lifestyle choices (and people's need to share) is ultimately the reason we left Greensboro, NC for the PNW. It's amazing how where you sit on the political spectrum can be viewed so differently depending on the opinions of those around you. When we moved here, we weren't necessarily looking for others who were just like us except for maybe in their ability to tolerate all types. Diversity makes life interesting.

[ny biker]

Diversity makes life interesting.

I totally agree, though I suspect that some people I know find it downright unsettling.