I can only empathize, Catrin. You have been through a lot. I think you are right to seek conservative treatment, though. Lots of studies show that most back/neck surgery is not needed and/or that exercise and other less invasive measure work as well in a lot of cases. Of course, I am not a doctor, but it does seem frustrating when you are someone who wants to be active, and all these others who have just sat on the couch have back/neck pain and drive the increasing rate of surgery and pain killers.
My hair stylist had horrible disc issues for years. In addition to her job (and she had 2 carpal tunnel surgeries), she's a competitive racquet ball player, in great shape. She had been trying all kinds of alternatives, nerve blocks, pain meds, PT, massage, until it got to the point she couldn't work. She researched new treatments for her condition, and found out there was a surgery in Germany that is very successful, but not FDA approved. She went to Munich on her own, had the surgery, with some kind of package plan/medical tourism deal and her insurance paid for it. She was there for about a month, recovering, then did PT here. She came back to work in September and is now perfect, working with a trainer and playing racquetball. Sometimes, you just need to take the ball in your own hands. I know you are very proactive, so don't give up.