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  1. #31
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,129

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    I guess I used the wrong words, Pam. We are direct, but tried to be humorous about it, so hence the "hints." Funny, though, that even though DS whips out his credit card every time now, DH often pays. We go out with them at least once a month, sometimes twice. They aren't traveling far.
    I rarely do pot luck anymore, and when someone comes for dinner, like a casual dinner, I prefer to do it all myself. On holidays, I ask people to bring an appetizer, salad, or dessert. Once I realized DIL is a really good cook, I started asking her, too. My friend we do holidays with is an obsessive planner and we are often planning the menu for Thanksgiving in early October. I am not like that, but I deal with it.
    My parents lived in a different state; my brother was there and did all of the help. My dad lived with him at the end. We contributed financially a bit, but I fully get what my brother did. I am not sure I have that in me. I never want to be dependent on my kids for anything.
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
    Specialized Oura

    2011 Guru Praemio
    Specialized Oura

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,129
    Back to the helicopter parents...
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...oblem-colleges
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
    Specialized Oura

    2011 Guru Praemio
    Specialized Oura

  3. #33
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Troutdale, OR
    Posts
    2,607
    I am very thankful for my parents to let me fail over and over again. My father was quite blunt about it. "What is the point of crying. Pick up yourself and keep going." School of hard knocks. But he did intervene, if he thought it was danger to my well being. Playing with chemistry set can get dangerous. :-)

    Kids need to learn that its okay to fail. Many a times, going over the line/edge is what it takes to learn.

  4. #34
    Jolt is offline Dodging the potholes...
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Southern Maine
    Posts
    1,677
    Ugh…this stuff all scares me when I think about potentially having kids!! I would like to let my kids do things like play outside and walk/bike to school (provided we live where this is feasible) and not have scheduled activities every minute of every day, but it seems like society is doing its best to prevent such things. When there are cases where the cops get called on someone for letting their kids play IN THEIR OWN YARD without the parent right there (and I would bet that the parent is keeping an eye out through the window while getting other things done), something is seriously wrong. It also seems like some parents get so wrapped up in their kids that they forget about who they are and their other interests, which doesn't seem healthy for either the parents or the kids. How do we fix this?
    2011 Surly LHT
    1995 Trek 830

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Columbus, IN
    Posts
    221
    Sigh. I've recently taught as an adjunct at a local university in a paralegal program. The class I taught was in the final year, so they've been in the program for a while and are ready to go into the job market. The assignments were very watered down, hypothetical assignments that I'd give paralegals in our office. A few students really excelled and thanked me after the class for the real-life world experience. About half of the class complained that the work was too hard, I didn't give them the answers, etc. I had one student to whom I gave a B (I really wanted to give him a C, but I was concerned that maybe it was too harsh) tell me he wasn't a B student and I needed to change the grade to an A. When I pointed out everything he missed and that it looked like he spent maybe 10 minutes on the project he admitted that was all true, but said that he is still an A student so he needed the grade adjusted. It all made very me sad because those people will not be prepared for a real job in their chosen profession. Fifteen years ago I was a graduate assistant who worked with students, etc. in a similar program and I can tell a definite difference between the "entitlement" of the students from then to now.

 

 

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