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Thread: Staying calm

  1. #1
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    Staying calm

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    How do you remain calm when in a situation that makes you angry or frustrated? Reacting with anger or irritation is rarely productive, so I would like to become better at reigning it in and remaining focused and calm while dealing with the situation at hand.

    I appreciate any advice or information on resources that you ladies might have.

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  2. #2
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    Honestly, if I can make myself stop and breathe and not "bite the hook" as Pema Chodren teaches, I can smile and walk away. Her book, Practicing Peace in Times of War really helped me change my life.

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    Honestly, if I can make myself stop and breathe and not "bite the hook" as Pema Chodren teaches, I can smile and walk away. Her book, Practicing Peace in Times of War really helped me change my life.
    a big, no, HUGE, plus 1...also her book 'when things fall apart'....or maybe all of her writings

    I try and begin my day with some meditation and then simply enjoying a cup of tea or hot chocolate either at home or stopping on my commute. If something comes up during the day I’ve trained myself to feel taking some breathes and creating a small space to get some perspective and choose how I want to continue/respond. Mindfulness allows me to accept how i feel in the moment….so for me, becoming calm, observation, the act of accepting the situation and then trying to find a positive way of reacting works most times. If there is stress around me at work that’s beginning to bother me instead of seeing it as a stressful distraction I’ll focus on it and feel it’s effect on my body to lessen it’s power on my mind, a brisk walk or stair climbing then helps to clear my mind and get some endorphins. I’ve never had a really stressful work situation though. With my team we strive for a calm and productive work environment and helping each other deal with any stress from work or even from personal issues if wanted/needed.

    hoping you find something that works for you ny biker!!
    Last edited by rebeccaC; 07-06-2015 at 05:34 PM.
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  4. #4
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    Rebecca - definitely, I've yet to read a single piece of her writing that didn't resonate with me.

    I also think our starting place is part of our issue. We are stressed, tired, agitated, frustrated, and overwhelmed much of the time; work, family, traffic, obligations, all leave us feeling like we're watching life happen in a blur rather than moving along with it. Just think how it would feel to start each day at peace, relaxed and eager...

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  5. #5
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    Everything said above. Recent research points out that doing slow controlled breathing, where you inhale for 4 counts, exhale for 6, and then take a couple of regular breaths before starting the next cycle works best. This is because the longer exhale gets rid of the carbon dioxide, which is what causes a lot of anxiety symptoms. You can even see changes in people's brains if you do an F MRI. When they are doing this kind of breathing. I start my clients off doing 30 seconds of this breathing, ten times a day. This way, it's both preventative, in that it brings HR and BP down and keeps your neurotransmitters like cortisol down, as well as interventional, i.e., you can use it in the moment. Also quick muscle tension and release from the head down works, too
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  6. #6
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    I recently discovered that I can kill a panic attack by standing on one leg. Tree pose with your hands in namaskarasana really brings it all together, but just balancing any way you like, forces you to come back to your body.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by OakLeaf View Post
    I recently discovered that I can kill a panic attack by standing on one leg. Tree pose with your hands in namaskarasana really brings it all together, but just balancing any way you like, forces you to come back to your body.
    That's very interesting. Now if I didn't have most of my panic attacks in the middle of the night while I was asleep I'll have to give that a try.
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    Just think how it would feel to start each day at peace, relaxed and eager...
    well, thats my goal .....and wishing more people felt like that!!!
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  9. #9
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    Please excuse the funky punctuation in my above post... typing on my I Phone sometimes is a challenge when I am rushing, at work, or not wearing my reading glasses!
    PM me, NY, if you want more sources.
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  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pax View Post
    Honestly, if I can make myself stop and breathe and not "bite the hook" as Pema Chodren teaches, I can smile and walk away. Her book, Practicing Peace in Times of War really helped me change my life.
    Oh wow, I really needed this book right now...

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  11. #11
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    seems like a place to leave some positive mental strategies in
    leaving for tomorrows hard challenging ride soon. This is what I wrote in my journal this morning....i also wrote it on a piece of paper that i'll carry with me

    Attitude is a choice
    I will persist through difficulty with positive thoughts and strategies
    I will not let anxiety create negativity
    I have positive visualizations of a strong ride
    I have the mental strategies to help keep me focused on doing a strong ride
    I can maintain focus, resist distractions and be in the moment
    I am prepared, strong, mentally tough, confident, determined, positive and optimistic
    I’ll be the best I can be……

    I’m ready for this ride

    Life is a verb
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  12. #12
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    A great "spot" from Dr. Abraham Low, the founder of Recovery International. "people do things that annoy you, not to annoy you" When I find myself getting worked up I try to stop and remember that, helps change my perspective and my response.
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  13. #13
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    Practicing this stuff right now. No matter how many rides I lead, I get incredibly nervous before hand.
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccaC View Post
    seems like a place to leave some positive mental strategies in
    leaving for tomorrows hard challenging ride soon. This is what I wrote in my journal this morning....i also wrote it on a piece of paper that i'll carry with me

    Attitude is a choice
    I will persist through difficulty with positive thoughts and strategies
    I will not let anxiety create negativity
    I have positive visualizations of a strong ride
    I have the mental strategies to help keep me focused on doing a strong ride
    I can maintain focus, resist distractions and be in the moment
    I am prepared, strong, mentally tough, confident, determined, positive and optimistic
    I’ll be the best I can be……

    I’m ready for this ride

    Life is a verb

    it worked.. The power of positive mental strategies!!!
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  15. #15
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    Nice!!

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