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  1. #1
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    Maybe am still conversative?

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    well, the same old thing about appropriate wear in high schools by students.
    http://news.nationalpost.com/toronto...cover-up-order

    I appreciate the teen's comments. Yes, women (and growing girls) should feel free to dress neatly in clothing without worrying about being misinterpreted by men, boys, etc. At the same time, there is a reality after school, where there are somewhat tighter boundaries on what to wear on the job, depending on organization's culture, etc. Especially when coworkers and clients barely or don't know your work capabilities/skills.

    I'm probably quite conservative in general on boundaries on what women in management ranks /in professional jobs, or any job on how they should present themselves in certain work situations.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  2. #2
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    I am sort of the same way, but it really depends on what field you work in. No one would accuse me of dressing super conservatively, but I do have to be aware of being "triggering," to male clients. My husband works at a software company and shorts, flip flops, etc are the uniform for the developers. DH wears nicer casual wear, including stylish jeans, etc., as he feels that he needs to be a bit above the computer geeks in terms of how he presents himself. He never, ever wears a sport coat or suit, unless it's a rare occasion he is out at a trade show or client.
    In the past, I have had to discuss the fact that deep cleavage and butt cracks showing when you bend over to help a student are not OK in the classroom, especially with impressionable middle school students. Both of these conversations were with younger people, who were my assistants quite awhile ago.
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  3. #3
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    Seems to me Alexi was being creatively intelligent in both her presentation prep and dealing with the administrations reaction…….it is an ART school….and among the best in Canada. From my school days to even in looking for a job, an unwavering dress code (well except safety etc) would be a control negative just on principal for me.....and i've always been somewhat conservative in how i dress.....well mostly

    At my workplace and in my team we are more concerned about what’s in a persons work than what is on their body. That said if someone or a group is telling a person something they’re wearing is inappropriate then hopefully it IS a positive learning experience for all involved.

    Alexi seems interesting and i like the outfit in the photo
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  4. #4
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    Me, the lover of arts and lifelong dabbler in arts, only stretched the boundaries by wearing sandals over barefeet, in Nov. below freezing temperatures with a lovely black long wool winter coat. I was getting "old" in my ways at 21 yrs.

    Her outfit might be on edge at our recreational centres as a student helper(?). Wouldn't go over working well in a municipal headquarters office. Our organization hires several hundred summer students annually.

    Seriously, our organizations has different workplace cultures --some depts. are construction heavy working boots oriented outdoor work crews. Some depts. are predominantly male.
    Sure I've worked in stricter dress areas. But it was a job experience that was atypical and worth minor expectation to be in business wear, not even long shorts....when working for the court judges. A peek into a world that not lots of people see daily. (And there were some artsy judges. The highest ranking judge did oil painting as a hobby outside, and filled his office with his creations...just wonderful.) Another judge, responsible for human rights legislation in Ontario, had her office artfully painted in bright colours with some of art collectibles.

    The law clerks who worked for the judges, *****ed on the side on requirement to wear suits during hot summers. But they knew their career /resume will look good with a work term for judges.

    I've made my business wear concessions for various employers, which were (to me) minor, in light of some incredible job experiences that I gained. Working at a construction site in the trailer office, in casual wear, is not always cool either...a layer of dust blowing inside and mud about the place. Even in the women's washroom.

    I dunno. I am old.... everyone has their definition of edginess. Should I wear a sarong (huge wrap scarf) as a skirt on the job at my age?
    Last edited by shootingstar; 05-27-2015 at 06:35 PM.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  5. #5
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    If one of her male classmates showed up with no shirt because he thought he looked good that way, what would happen? Would they tell him to put a shirt on? I suspect they would.

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  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccaC View Post
    Seems to me Alexi was being creatively intelligent in both her presentation prep and dealing with the administrations reaction…….it is an ART school….and among the best in Canada. From my school days to even in looking for a job, an unwavering dress code (well except safety etc) would be a control negative just on principal for me.....and i've always been somewhat conservative in how i dress.....well mostly

    At my workplace and in my team we are more concerned about what’s in a persons work than what is on their body. That said if someone or a group is telling a person something they’re wearing is inappropriate then hopefully it IS a positive learning experience for all involved.

    Alexi seems interesting and i like the outfit in the photo
    I am more prone to this point of view. I'm trying to remember if we wore halter tops in HS--I know darn well we wore them on the weekends. High school is a whole different animal, and Alexi might well have the judgment to change her clothing to match work and other settings. And I expect her choices will change over time just like the rest of us.

    The last elementary school I worked in had a uniform policy. It's not a very rigid one--there's a range of colors and choices, but one thing it did very effectively was take the whole "inappropriate dress for a 10 year old" and "I am rich and you are poor, and our clothing shows this" stuff right off the table. I think it was a great relief to a lot of the kids there.
    "My predominant feeling is one of gratitude. I have loved and been loved;I have been given much and I have given something in return...Above all, I have been a sentient being, a thinking animal, on this beautiful planet, and that in itself has been an enormous privilege and an adventure." O. Sacks

  7. #7
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    To be honest I can't see what appropriate dress in a workplace has to do with appropriate dress at high school at all. I wore completely different things as a teenager to school than I do to work as an adult in an office job. Some workplaces have very strict dress codes, some don't. At a workplace you deal with people of all ages and backgrounds, and what is appropriate is partly defined by what is acceptable to all.

    That's not to say that there isn't an idea of "appropriate" also in high school, I just believe it's probably a lot laxer, and closer to what teens wear at home. Personally I think she looks lovely, and very inoffensive, based on MY cultural background.
    Winter riding is much less about badassery and much more about bundle-uppery. - malkin

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  8. #8
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    When I was in high school, it was a big deal that girls were finally allowed to wear pants/jeans to school! And this was at the height of the 60s.
    Then I moved to Florida. The girls were wearing Villager dresses and carrying little Etienne Ainger purses. My parents brought me for my first day at Miami Palmetto HS wearing bell bottoms, a black t shirt, and very long silver dangly earrings. They were promptly told to "bring me home and change me," punctuated by the word ma'm. I thought my mom would explode.
    A couple of weeks ago, one of my 16 year old female clients came to see me at 6 PM. I seriously asked her if she had worn her outfit to school. Short shorts (not really so bad) and a white, lacy, see through top, with a black bra underneath. She looked at me like, "Why not?" I am sorry, it just looked really trashy, and in any school I worked at, it would not have been OK. We laughed, as I have a really good relationship with this kid, but it was clear she didn't see why I was asking.
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  9. #9
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    Sure, I agree that at high school it's a lot laxer in clothing styles.
    Just when a kid who looks old enough to work for a summer job, they need to be coached later....how to dress for the work world soon, job interviews, business meetings, etc. I should have clarified.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  10. #10
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    I'm not sure what to think of this picture. But one thing for sure, I would never have gone out dressed like in this top. I was a bit too converservative and did not seem to need to "show off" my body. Maybe there is the issue of how you were raised, your friends' circle, how confident you are or not. If I had worn something like this, I would have had a little vest/unbottoned shirt over it and it would have made a big difference.

    I was always told, even in high school - towards the end - to dress as you wanted to be seen. I guess her view and mine would differ a lot.

    I know some schools, just like workplace, have a a dress code. If it's clear, there is not much as a student/employee you can do against. I know at work here we are pretty strict but sometimes, we let slip one. hihi And I'm in HR.
    Helene
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  11. #11
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    I guess, to me, if they're dressing in the same style as everyone else their age, then they're adept at conforming to fashion. While they may need a guidance counselor's nudge to begin with, they won't have a hard time figuring out what to wear in a business setting where more formal clothes are expected. Remember it's just fashion.

    It's a bit personal, just because my parents dressed me and my sisters like we were in some kind of weird TV cult, and we had to figure out how to dress ourselves when we were in our 20s (middle sister never did figure it out - she's a college professor with an emphasis on fieldwork, so she can get away with it at work). I'm just barely, I choose very conservative clothes just because I never learned how to accessorize, match or flair. I think if a kid has the social networks they need growing up, then basic conformity to fashion won't be hard for them - whether it's pushing the edges in high school, or rocking a suit at the office. If they don't have that social support, then punishing them for what they wear isn't going to help.

    Plus, I think there's a world of difference between "X amount of cover is required in a setting with Y level of formality," vs "girls have to cover because boys can't help raping them if they don't."
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  12. #12
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    Yes the winning answer is uniform!!!

    ...and yes shootingstar, if you want to...you should wear a sarong as a skirt on the job !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by salsabike View Post
    I'm trying to remember if we wore halter tops in HS--I know darn well we wore them on the weekends.
    a halter with skinny satin cord ties or maybe a cowboy shirt both worked with my Juicy jeans….that could have been my high school uniform for a while. now a short goth corset skirt, maybe fishnets….a cheap vintage crushed black velvet jacket, i could have thought that through as a uniform when i was a teen

    I did a photo essay on an American Apparel billboard campaign in the L.A. area that can and has easily been interpreted as making it easier for people to believe that teen aged looking girls want to be involved in adult sexual relationships. I’m sure I’m more aware of it today but it seems a teen dealing with sexualizing is so much more prevalent than it was just over a decade ago for me.

    building positive self-identities ftw
    Last edited by rebeccaC; 05-28-2015 at 01:50 PM.
    ‘The negative feelings we all have can be addictive…just as the positive…it’s up to
    us to decide which ones we want to choose and feed”… Pema Chodron

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccaC View Post
    I’m sure I’m more aware of it today but it seems a teen dealing with sexualizing is so much more prevalent than it was just over a decade ago for me.
    Forty-three years ago when I was in the eighth grade, the fad was "sizzler dresses." The length was right at the butt crease, and they came with a matching panty.

    I don't think teenagers, new to their sexual identity and feeling like flaunting it, is anything new!

    I know I graduated eighth grade in that dress, I'm not sure but I'm thinking I was confirmed in it as well, and yes I am appalled by that now, but it sure does make me less likely to judge "kids these days."

    building positive self-identities ftw
    +1 and I think that's really the line we're talking about. Building positive self-identities, *including* their sexual identity, but helping them remember that there's a lot more to life - as distracting as all those hormones can be!
    Last edited by OakLeaf; 05-28-2015 at 08:49 AM.
    Speed comes from what you put behind you. - Judi Ketteler

  14. #14
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    I went to a public co-ed high school.
    In my final year, a few girls transferred from an all-girl's Catholic school to our high school. The girls who chose to transfer and were accepted, were high achievers. Yes, of course it gave them the freedom to dress to their own liking at our school. I don't recall any of these girls wearing stuff that would be on par with crop tops, etc. while in school.

    A bit off topic: What was obvious even to me, along with my current female classmates who were also high academic achievers, etc., was the level of self-confidence of these former all-girl migrants had in their verbal self-expression, etc. I do believe for girls, an all-girl school with uniform requirements, if the curriculum is challenging can help (some) girls develop good self-confidence without overly relying on validation from guys at school. But the hormones at that age, just can distract even the best. Well, you know what I mean.

    I graduated from high school in 1978. During my first year in HS, girls were finally allowed to wear jeans. I remember kneeling in hallway along with other girls in my class, so that (female) teacher could check our hemlines were knee-length.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know what’s in a person’s heart.

  15. #15
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    Wow. My two siblings graduated from high school in 1978. I was four years behind them and it was one building for junior and senior high -- grades 7-12, ages 12-17 or 18. We wore jeans to school all the time.

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