So, don't participate. Sounds like the obnoxious Yankee swap things I've had to endure.
As far as the restaurant, maybe just enjoy the ribs for one meal? Seriously, I don't eat that stuff hardly at all, but my DIL is the general manager of a very well known ribs place here; When we go there, I eat, and i don't worry about it. However, even this place has lots of vegetarian options. Eat a steak and be happy!