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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Posts
    9,324

    What makes you sad?

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    We choose to let some things have a negative impact on us. So what gets you down?

    For me, it's lots of things about my job. I teach in a Title 1 Elementary school - more than half of our kids receive free or reduced lunch. They don't have a lot of opportunities. One of my colleagues applied for grants to get us free BART tickets to SF and free entrance to the Exploratorium. The deadline for turning field trip forms in was yesterday. Less than half our kids turned in their forms. We also didn't get enough parent volunteers to drive us to BART and chaperon. It was a free trip and we have to cancel it.

    It makes me sad that to get a school bus to take your class on a field trip costs at least $300, more depending on distance traveled. To get money for field trips we have to ask for "donations." Phrasing it that way means most parents don't feel obligated to pay. So how do you pay for a bus? That's why we wanted parents to drive us. Of course the parent drivers are required to have a significant amount of insurance and they have a bunch of forms to fill out.

    So... my kids who have limited opportunities lose out.


    Veronica
    Discipline is remembering what you want.


    TandemHearts.com

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    Concord, MA
    Posts
    13,394
    So many things about schools make no sense. Mostly, I don't get sad, I get angry about stuff. Once in a very great while, I miss my younger son. That's about it.
    However, I do feel angry that so many kids don't have opportunities like my kids did.
    2015 Trek Silque SSL
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    2017 Specialized Ariel Sport

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    Cruel, mean, and indifferent people make me sad. People who use their words to inflict pain, belittle, and degrade others. Watching people do without when we are so rich, seeing kids without hope, adults who’ve given up.

    Electra Townie 7D

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    San Francisco Bay Area
    Posts
    9,324
    I do actually get angry or frustrated by so many of things that seem so ridiculous. New report card software - that surprise doesn't work properly. I'm still short textbooks in my classroom and we're a third of the way through the year. We adopted new language arts and math curriculum this year with a huge online component - that has a ton of bugs.

    I take my job seriously and I want to do it well - but that stuff - hamstrings you.


    Veronica
    Last edited by Veronica; 11-05-2014 at 07:00 AM.
    Discipline is remembering what you want.


    TandemHearts.com

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Columbus, IN
    Posts
    216
    Quote Originally Posted by Veronica View Post

    So... my kids who have limited opportunities lose out.


    Veronica
    I'm so sorry, for the kids and for you since you have to see this and live with it every day. It's evident that you care, and you care a lot so I imagine you probably make a huge difference to them. I admire people that deal with what you do every day and still care. Hugs.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    491
    Being alone makes me sad. Seeing how many people in the happy thread attributed happiness to being with their SO highlighted that. I never expected to be alone and childless at almost 40. So yeah, that makes me sad.
    2014 Surly Straggler
    2012 Salsa Casseroll - STOLEN

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    764
    I don't get sad a lot. It's so not my nature. Sad for me is truly when I lose someone close to me.

    But what upsets me a lot is the abuse still going with animals. The puppymills and alike. Seeing how we still abuse so much of children and grown-ups who suffer mentally or physically.

    I find laws in Canada are too often a slap on the hand and people are blaming insanity for their acts and it works!!!!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    Quote Originally Posted by VeganBikeChick View Post
    Being alone makes me sad. Seeing how many people in the happy thread attributed happiness to being with their SO highlighted that. I never expected to be alone and childless at almost 40. So yeah, that makes me sad.
    My heart goes out for to you, I know how incredibly lucky I got in this life and wish the same for anyone who desires companionship. (((VBC)))

    Electra Townie 7D

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Oslo, Norway
    Posts
    4,066
    And we shouldn't forget that only those people who have very happy relationships will answer that question that way. There are plenty of people who aren't lucky enough to be in quite that place, or who even have SOs that contribute to their sadness. I would say that as long as you have someone in you life to love, whether it's friends or family or a SO, you have something important.
    Winter riding is much less about badassery and much more about bundle-uppery. - malkin

    1995 Kona Cinder Cone commuterFrankenbike/Selle Italia SLR Lady Gel Flow
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  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Location
    Houston
    Posts
    1,301
    Quote Originally Posted by lph View Post
    And we shouldn't forget that only those people who have very happy relationships will answer that question that way. There are plenty of people who aren't lucky enough to be in quite that place, or who even have SOs that contribute to their sadness. I would say that as long as you have someone in you life to love, whether it's friends or family or a SO, you have something important.
    This! I've been on both sides of the fence and that's probably one of the main reasons my SO does make me so happy.

    Things that make me sad.... My short comings and failings.
    2012 Jamis Quest Brooks B17 Blue
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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Western Canada-prairies, mountain & ocean
    Posts
    6,984
    Sad because of loved ones who have died and plus others who are about die.

    Another reason why I have no interest living in a retirement community....better to be in a multi-generation neighbourhood with services and shops close by.
    My Personal blog on cycling & other favourite passions.
    遙知馬力日久見人心 Over a long distance, you learn about the strength of your horse; over a long period of time, you get to know whatís in a personís heart.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    Troutdale, OR
    Posts
    2,600
    Lot of things makes me sad. political/financial inequality, unnecessary hadrship I see all the time.

    Money worry makes me sad. Bigger you are harder you fall seems appropriate.

    Getting my monthly alumni magazine and seeing many of my classmates and researchers I worked with, have made names for themselves. Me? Got very little to show. Just a membership to local Grange (dying organization with silly secret handshake...) and a farm. Did I deserve an Ivy league education?? Probably not. The magazine makes me feel like a total failure. So these days, the rag goes straight into the recycling bin. DON'T REMIND ME!!!

    Somedays I just feel like I need to be pushing daisies and stare at the sky blankly.

    Or when I have a project/problem with no elegant or simple solution. I feel like the problem is mocking at my shortcoming.

    Or results not meeting my exurberant expectation.
    Last edited by smilingcat; 11-05-2014 at 09:28 PM.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Montreal, QC
    Posts
    764
    Smilingcat

    Don't beat yourself up.

    Success is not all about work, about having your name plastered all over internet or in magazine or the best education. Maybe for some, but not all of us.

    I don't care if some of my peers made it to the top, are making more money, are traveling all over for work. My ex-boss used to be in the $600,000s Was he happy with his COO job? Probably. But he had the stress that came with it, no real life and making sure he stayed connected with the planet's contacts! He was on "duty" 24/7, working crazy hours. He was let go just over a year ago and I saw him for lunch one day recently. He is so much more relaxed, only taking small (although they are still busy) contracts. He's not making a lot of money (at least compared to before). But he says he could no longer work the way he was for the past years. Traveling world-wide really is hard on you when one day you're in London, the next in Calgary! He looked so much better.

    If you'd dig my name up on the WWW you will NOT see it. I try to protect it as much as I can, no pics either in the google image search. haha I don't need this to feel accomplished.

    What matters is how YOU see yourself, without comparing you to your classmates. We all take different roads at some point in our life. You have something, they have something else that I'm sure they may love to trade in some times.

    But if that mag really gets to you, have your name removed from mailing list for a while. You can always have them put it back when you feel like it.

    A quote I like:

    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
    Winston Churchill

    So no matter how I continue my road on this earth, I want to drive it my way. Which may mean fall, get up and keep going. Even if it is in another direction I never thought of.
    Last edited by Helene2013; 11-06-2014 at 05:33 AM. Reason: typo

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Illinois
    Posts
    3,853
    I have always lacked ambition, much to the chagrin of my parents and teachers. Since I test really high on things like IQ tests there were all these expectations that I would "be somebody" and amount to something. It never bothered me that those things never came to fruition, but it made me sad that it seemed to disappoint people who mattered to me.

    Now all of those people are gone and I'm happy as a clam with my life, doubly so that I didn't cave to meeting their expectations. It would have been different though if I'd set those standards for myself. Hope you find some peace with this Cat.

    Electra Townie 7D

  15. #15
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    northern Virginia
    Posts
    5,897
    Quote Originally Posted by smilingcat View Post
    Getting my monthly alumni magazine and seeing many of my classmates and researchers I worked with, have made names for themselves. Me? Got very little to show. Just a membership to local Grange (dying organization with silly secret handshake...) and a farm. Did I deserve an Ivy league education?? Probably not. The magazine makes me feel like a total failure. So these days, the rag goes straight into the recycling bin. DON'T REMIND ME!!!
    When they accept you, they don't make you sign a contract to commit to doing anything special after you graduate. If you did the work and earned the credits to graduate, you deserved the education.

    I am downwardly mobile, have taken pay cuts and changed careers in order to have a job that makes me happy and get away from the jobs that made me miserable. I'm currently not doing anything related to my major. But I worked hard for my Ivy League degree (and my MS from Northwestern) and I deserved them. What happens to other alumni has nothing to do with me -- whether they're successful or they're in jail (and yes some of the famous ones have gone to jail).

    We each have our own version of success, and if it doesn't match up with other's versions or strays from the path we started on when we were young, that's okay.

    - Gray 2010 carbon WSD road bike, Rivet Independence saddle
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