TED talk on online dating yikes

[smilingcat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6wG_sAdP0U watch and listen to what happens to Amy starting at 5:08 mark into the video. I found her talk pretty funny but this guy at 5:08 mark is is all I can say.

I enjoy watching real TED talks.

Something to think about if you decide to go on this route.

enjoy

[lauraelmore1033]

Why would anyone do such a thing!!! I've been married since I was about 10 so will hopefully never need this information, but I thought her talk was very funny. She's adorable and witty, so it's hard to believe she had to go to so much trouble to find a mate!

[Jolt]

Yikes indeed! I have been thinking about trying online dating but the whole thing scares me, and some of her stories aren't helping matters!! Then again, it did finally work out well for her. There are just too many creeps and weirdos out there...

[Catrin]

There are creeps and wierdos out there regardless of how we meet people, sadly. My sister is getting married in a month and she met him on line. I know of at least one TE member who married someone she met on an online bike forum, so it doesn't seem that uncommon these days.

Me? I've been single for so long that I've no idea how to get started in the "modern" dating scene. Hopefully I will just meet someone as I go about my usual activities

[Jolt]

Me? I've been single for so long that I've no idea how to get started in the "modern" dating scene. Hopefully I will just meet someone as I go about my usual activities

Meeting someone in the course of usual activities would be nice! The whole online thing seems like it sets up all sorts of expectations and pressure, besides the fact that it is so easy for people to be fake.

[lph]

What I don't get is why people even want to be fake. I mean, sure I can understand glossing over one's worst sides, and overselling the good sides, posting a photo that looks really good, but why would anyone want to post completely fake photos or information? Isn't that just going to be horrendously embarrassing once you meet up?

[Catrin]

Meeting someone in the course of usual activities would be nice! The whole online thing seems like it sets up all sorts of expectations and pressure, besides the fact that it is so easy for people to be fake.

Indeed, though I've never understood it. All I was saying is there have been those who have found long-lasting relationships and marriages from internet dating, and indeed, one of the happiest couples I know married 35 years ago. She was, quite literally, a mail-order bride from Romania. So, you never know.

[GLC1968]

I met my husband on Match.com. Our experience was quite similar to that woman's success story - our first phone conversation was also 14 hours long...overnight. I hung up with him, went for my run, showered and went to work that morning! We met face to face a week later and were married 9 months to the day after our first date. That'll be 11 years ago as of next week.

After participating in our wedding, my brother went on Match.com and ended up meeting his wife of 7 years, so yeah...it works.

Her story of the guy ordering all that stuff? I would have stopped him in the middle of it and questioned what the hell he was doing!? That's crazy behavior and shame on her for not recognizing it or saying something sooner!!

That said, meeting online is not much different than meeting in real life except that you often get the chance to get to know the person before even knowing if there is a physical attraction there. I remember telling a friend of mine before my first date with my husband that if there is even the slightest physical attraction or spark there that I was done for because I was already crazy about him. When she called me at the pre-arranged time during our first meeting (we always played it safe), she asked "Well?". I said "I'm screwed" and she laughed and hung up.

[rebeccaC]

Yikes indeed! I have been thinking about trying online dating but the whole thing scares me, and some of her stories aren't helping matters!! Then again, it did finally work out well for her. There are just too many creeps and weirdos out there...

I have no interest in on-line dating services as my “Amy’s timeline” still has a lot of time in it and I do fine on my own. I do have friends who do it as a way of just meeting and having conversations with new people….if a connection is made all the better. Perhaps putting negative pressure on it can be like a self-fulfilling prophecy of dissatisfaction. Instead of being anxious about it just be yourself, meet in a safe environment and just see where it goes.

(Amy’s lesson at 5:43 is just making sure you tell your waitress/waiter you are doing separate checks at the beginning of the meal )

[Crankin]

Although I have been married for 34 years, I think I would try on line dating if I was single. Heck, people thought I was nuts for getting married to DH after just 6 months! We met at a Jewish singles softball game (where he was one of the few who could actually play, let alone one of the few dressed appropriately for softball in 110 degree temperatures), the attraction was instant, and we moved in together after a month, were engaged in 3 months. He could have quite easily been a weirdo, given how quickly it happened, and his parents told him I was a weirdo and would leave him anyway, because I was more educated and my family was "too high class." Lovely. Despite that, it worked. I think if you take the attitude Rebecca spoke of, it's fine. That's how I felt about going to the Jewish singles events.

[OakLeaf]

DH and I met online, but it wasn't online dating. Just a message board - actually kind of similar to TE in a lot of ways, which I think was more common back in the day. So really, we met just "going about our usual activities," except that those activities happened to be online.

We knew each other for two years before we ever met face to face, and another year before we became a couple, but after that, the rest happened pretty fast. We really knew each other's personalities pretty well, even though we didn't know a lot of the details of each other's lives that are usually the first things people learn when they first meet the old-fashioned way.

I guess I'd be afraid of any set-up, whether online or f2f, being just too contrived for me. OTOH, my mom, in her 70s and a widow for a year and a half, is now dating someone she met at a senior singles' group. So who knows.