I was terrified of descents as a beginner (except for very short and familiar ones). I was forced to learn in a cycling trip in Scottland - the first day, I melted the brake pads and they had to be replaced that day. By day 6, I was following my friend's line, hands in the drops. I also have small hands and, on the hoods in steep descents, my hands cramped. The drops worked a lot better.
Heck, when I started riding, even trying to ride faster on a flat road (say 18 mph) felt like I was totally out of control. You get comfortably gradually, your skills improve with riding time, experimenting within reason and pushing your boundaries little by little. Ride within your comfort level, but also experiment when possible to see how things feel. The GCN videos are pretty good and they give you tips you can mix in your rides.