I've never had a touring bike..but I've gone on bike tours for several weeks and cycled with my loaded panniers (sometimes 2 panniers, other trips there are 4 on my bike). On a hybrid and other trips on a folding bike (with 20 inch wheels, not the smaller ones). We've done our own bike tours over the past 2 decades. My partner has done way more solo lengthy bike tours. I ride with him.
Are you camping?
There is no real need to pull a trailer for the length of your trip. But you do have to train yourself locally by riding lots with groceries, etc. Try a 1-2 overnight short trip, to understand stuff that you want to pack.
I am aware that some roadies just aren't used to/don't like hauling alot of baggage weight on their bike.
I suppose if you're with men, they will all have touring bikes or road bikes or whatever? I'm just wondering since being the only woman you might want to feel better on a bike where you feel strongest and one that can carry weight which means your bike rack must be rated to take alot of pannier weight. Do you normally ride with these men at all? If they are friends and don't have big egos, then they would be good riders with you on a group tour. For road tires, I would not use narrow road slicks for touring. Nope.
I have Schwable Marathon tires that aren't mountain bike chunky but definitely wider than slicks. For your panniers, line them with plastic bags or have pannier covers for rain. I carry only 1 extra pr. of shoes and become extremely efficient in number of clothing pieces that I haul around.
I am 5'1". I have a good cycling friend who has done bike touring several times with her own pannier weight and she is 4'11". She uses her folding bike.